My daughter was prescribed this drug at the Bethlem where she had been put on Olanzapine  that they mixed with the Quetiapine which made my daughter extremely confused – “which tablet should I take Mum” –  I had a day at work where I got call after call from my daughter who sounded mixed up and scared –  I could tell they were doing something with the drugs and mixing them and that I know for a fact causes adverse behaviour.   I felt sorry for my daughter and helpless as there was nothing I could do for her.  She had signed an advanced declaration and yet they had ignored everything and she had given her consent to the family to see the files yet suddenly the team were intervening and stating that my daughter did not want me to see the files.  Anyway I noticed that Elizabeth had piled on enormous weight in this hospital and I had read that the Olanzapine was a drug notorious for weight gain.

I visited after this and my daughter seemed very sedated and could barely walk and had to cling on to me and this must have been when they put her on Metformine and Clozapine.   Elizabeth did not want to take Clozapine and made it crystal clear but I do not think she was aware they had put her on this – she was so mixed up and confused.  When I came to visit one day Elizabeth could not cope with running and I know for a fact an emergency doctor was called out as I spoke to Elizabeth on the phone who complained of a strain to her heart.  When I came back to the ward, the emergency doctor had left and I had already asked what they had put Elizabeth on but she did not know herself and said it was a drug beginning with the letter M.  Anyway she verbally gave her consent to me knowing what the drugs were and when I heard she was on Clozapine against her wishes despite a letter from Professor Robin Murray to say a drug free period of assessment I was far from happy and I had demanded to know because Elizabeth did not look well at all.  After this I got a letter copied in by many people accusing me of aggressive behaviour and my time with Elizabeth was already sanctioned but it was a ban.  I have documented previously about the time I was banned in my piece called “Abuse At the Bethlem”.  Anyway Elizabeth has been on Metformine for quite some time now and I am not happy at the level of drugs she is being given and whilst the team have said all along that this is being given for weight loss – I need extra reassurance as I have been looking into this drug and it is for Diabetes Type II.    I have found out my daughter’s new GP and they are very nice and helpful.  Elizabeth immediately gave her consent for them to deal with me as everything is shrouded in secrecy and a team can pretty much do what they like especially when dealing with someone vulnerable and drugged up like my daughter.   I have discovered that the combination of Metformine and Clozapine are CONTRA INDICATED drugs.  I am concerned about the harm being done to my daughter’s physical health by 850mg in total of these two drugs per day.  I have quite rightly queried this with the GP who did not even have all the files.  This is terrible that files are not passed on to the GP who is then going by a previous prescription without anything for them to query themselves.  IN other words if I as a mother and Nearest Relative had not looked into matters then the Metformine and this unsatisfactory combination of drugs would continue to be prescribed forever.  Now that I have drawn this to the GP’s attention the Metformine is being discontinued.  However I am concerned as if this is done too steeply like at the Bethlem it could be harmful to Elizabeth.

I am going to write to Dr Ann Blake Tracy about this and also there is an organisation called APRIL that would know about any adverse effects this could bring about.  Now that Elizabeth has a date in February when she is being released I want things done properly and Dr Ann Blake Tracy states a reduction needs to be done slowly and gradually.  She is quite right as far as I am concerned.

I am also sending to the GP other documents that I have  concerning other important health issues as a GP should know all of this and this should have been passed on.   I am most concerned that the GP was not told of something that showed up on an MRI scan that could be of great importance and I intend to send these documents.

So now Elizabeth will be down to 350mg of Clozapine and because some of the files were not forthcoming the GP could not answer my question “does Elizabeth have diabetes”?  –  in two weeks time the facts will be know as I have queries everything and I am very very pleased that I have done this.  

If nothing is done about any drugs that are harmful to my daughter in light of any such physical health problems I shall personally take some holiday off work to deal with this and sort things out.   

There is research being ignored and some that I had not heard of before that has come to my attention and I reminded the team that my daughter had a NEW DIAGNOSIS now.  I felt as though the team have pushed this aside and it is not just me but the whole family who agree with this new diagnosis of PTSD.  The treatment for PTSD is INTENSIVE TRAUMA THERAPY.  There is no mention of drugging for such a condition and therefore I as a mother want the correct treatment provided and I heard Mr Cameron saying that there is plenty of money available –  whilst I fully sympathise with the victims of the flooding,  there people like my daughter who are receiving the wrong treatment and need a proper assessment and a specialist treatment centre.   Coming off drugs is a very risky business and needs proper supervision especially with what Elizabeth is on and I as a mother want to ensure that everything is done properly as I have heard shocking reports that can lead to permanent damage in terms of health.  After this I am leaving nothing to chance and there needs to be a complete review as far as prescribing and reductions of drugs are concerned as this needs to be properly monitored.  I also want proper testing before the prescribing of drugs to see if someone can metabolize them or not.  None of this is being done properly in the UK and after so many drugs now my daughter’s physical health has been damaged so it would seem.  The GP said that within 2 weeks the facts will be known and I am bracing myself for bad news as Elizabeth was once healthy in terms of her physical health.

Yesterday I telephoned Elizabeth and could not get through on the phone and had to go through the office.  Today was the same as there was a problem with the charger.  The phone was probably in the office charging no doubt.  I had to hang on and wait to speak to her and wished her a Happy Birthday.  I am pleased the package arrived that I sent but I also bought some chocolates which the rest of the family can bring down however I am worried about these now as I am not sure there is a problem with Elizabeth.

Just lately more than one expert has been giving me advice that I cannot ignore.  I have become knowledgeable myself about the drugs having read so many books on the subject.  At the very beginning I trusted the doctors but then I got to see the effects of the drugs and questioned what they were doing.  I was told by one psychiatrist at local level that my daughter would have to take the drugs for the rest of her life.  However I have one thing that is making me query everything right now and I just cannot allow this to be dismissed by anyone. 

Today I had an indepth conversation with social services about the placement of my daughter and someone is supposed to have several choices.  One place Elizabeth did not like, the care home she did like but what about the other place?  When I got no call back from social services I rang again and questioned this and was told that they would not pay for this place for her to go and stay for a short while as well as pay for the private hospital at the same time.  However we as a family were not given the option to pay for this short stay if this was what Elizabeth liked.  I felt that my daughter had been given no choice and when I used the word manipulation this did not go down well – in fact I almost felt as though I was being mimicked when I said this word.   I will give you some examples of manipulation my daughter has had.

Change of solicitor

“you’ve got to go along with what the team say here Mum, it is very strict”

making contact with me difficult – letter stating supervised phone calls at a time I could not phone

Now the placement as there is no choice.

If Elizabeth had made the choice of the Care Home herself when given choice of the other placement I would not have had a problem with this but I am not happy as I do not feel my daughter has been treated fairly.

Whilst in conversation I happened to mention about the treatment of my daughter and drugs being given which are contra indicated.  I felt as though social services and the team were being dismissive of the report by a highly qualified and experienced psychiatrist of many years.   Social Services are not doctors and neither are they experts when it comes to the workings of the drugs.  So I explained that I had more than one expert stating that Metformin is given for diabetes and I just want the truth.  I have just bought chocolate/sweets for Elizabeth – do I as a mother need to give a special diet for my daughter and if she has such a condition or even the onset of it then we as a family need to know then my daughter should have a complete review of her treatment.

I have asked for an honest answer as every time I have brought up the subject I have a terrible feeling that the truth is not being revealed to us as a family.

The truth always comes out in the end.

Apparantly Clozapine interacts with 600 other drugs and Metformine with 200. 

There is research conducted on adverse reactions to drugs and I have come across some research to do with PTSD which I am most interested in.  In the report my daughter is recommended to have intensive trauma therapy and I as a mother want this provided.

If there is something seriously wrong with my daughter and I will get to find out about it then this cannot be dismissed by anyone.

I look forward in the near future of speaking to Sir Simon Wessely about how to improve the image of psychiatry as well as his advice on the correct treatment for my daughter’s new diagnosis of PTSD and intensive trauma therapy. 

It is Elizabeth’s Birthday tomorrow but I will not be seeing her.  She will be spending yet another Birthday in hospital but she is miles away from home and no one in the family is going down.  I think other family members will go next week but I am hoping that when the weather gets a bit nicer to spend more than just the usual day or two  but by this time Elizabeth may be somewhere else – I do not know where.   Anyway I have sent a parcel of things for Elizabeth which I hope she will get in time for her Birthday tomorrow but today when I telephoned there was no answer.  I have  not spoken to Elizabeth for some time and wanted her to know I had sent something so I had to go through the office and patient’s phone and it turns out that Elizabeth’s phone charger has gone missing.  I then telephoned the Manager and asked if someone could help her find the charger as it could upset the rest of the family if they also could not get through.  It is costly to hang on and wait on the phone for a long time whilst staff go looking for Elizabeth so hopefully this will be sorted out.   There is a new consultant psychiatrist I think but he or she has not introduced themselves to me yet and it is impossible to go down for every meeting but then I have never in the past been included in any case.

I went into a very nice store today on my way home from work called Hotel Chocolate.  They always give out free samples and I am supposed to be on a diet but I suppose one wont hurt however I was tempted not only to buy something for Elizabeth today but also something for myself too.  I am hoping the rest of the family can bring this down when they visit shortly. 

When I think about it I do not know how on earth I would be able to see Elizabeth if I did not have a car and did not have a job.  There is no help whatsoever financially and if a mother or family have no means to go and visit it must be very hard for the patient because not all patients have terrible relationships with their parents.  If I go down and visit it is too far just to go for 1 day and I have to book in somewhere and this is costly.  There is no help and there is no advocacy and I tried so hard to find advocacy for myself but because I do not live in the area the advocates could not take on my case and local carers groups could not help me.  I do not think the advocacy is fair for my daughter either as not one person as far as I know has shown her a report stating a different diagnosis.  I am not happy with this at all and I as the Nearest Relative have had to read this report and the other one I have and this should have come from her advocates/solicitor as far as I am concerned.  I am far from happy and do not feel my daughter is being represented fairly.

Anyway I must ring up social services tomorrow –  it is difficult to get hold of them sometimes and I want some answers to my questions raised last week about the placements.

I have sent some money and hope that the team will buy another charger if this cannot be found and that they take Elizabeth to the shops so she can buy a nice cake for everyone.

Whilst on a local ward I went to Nandos and bought food for everyone to take on the local ward.

The food is supposed to be much nicer on the private sector ward and in my opinon more needs to be done about the food and this is why I want Dr Walsh involved and Elizabeth has agreed to this.  The correct diet and nutrition is vital and I have been recommended some tests to be done with Dr Shaw as well.   It is all the more important that with all these drugs my daughter has the correct diet and if she is on Metformine for instance this especially needs to be looked at in depth and I want to know why these tests that I have paid for costing hundreds of pounds are not available to those who do not respond to the drugs.  Well I am prepared to pay hundreds of pounds more for even more tests to be done however unless such tests are done the treatment may be very wrong and could affect someone’s health.  This is why a specialised assessment centre focusing on nutrition and involving leading experts in the Country should be set up as in my daughter’s case a close watch needs to be given to her physical health which I as a mother feel is being totally ignored.

It is wrong to continue with a treatment when it does not work and when harm is showing as per the private test results I  have had done.

Why is there no centre in the UK when in the States there are several Alternative Care Centres?   Whilst there are therapeutic communities there needs to be something even more specialised as if someone is receiving the wrong treatment that could be harmful to them like my daughter on contra indicated drugs then they will become a burden to the NHS if something is not done.   There could be underlying health problems and there are no proper tests or assessments given under the NHS.  I have had to pay privately for these tests which prove my point.  What I do not like is the way these reports are being ignored by the professionals and this is totally wrong.

Revelations 18:23-24 – “in the latter days the merchants of Bablylon with be the “great” men of the earth (great, generally meaning rich and powerful)  And that by their “sourceries” would all nations of the world be deceived and that many would die as a result of this deception.  The Greek translation of sorcery is “pharmacopeia”.

Isaiah writes about what we will face as a society whilst John speaks of everyone being deceived by pharmacopeia. 

Isaiah 28:7-8 points out even leaders of religions will be “out of the way” through intoxicating substances.    Isaiah states no one is exempt “they err in vision, they stumble in  judgement” –  he goes on to explain why this will happen to our society “For all tables are full of vomit and filth – No place is clean”   Just look at what is happening today – food is being toxicated with pesticides and other types of chemicals, stripped of nutrition and stripped of enzymes.

On the maximum huge dosage of Quetiapine Elizabeth was emotionless and seemed to be in a dream like state and complained of suffering vivid nightmares during the day.   She was on 750 -800mg which she was forced to take for numerous years – the dosage always raised on hospital admission and other drugs given on top.    The effects of this awful drug were wearing off and serious side effects were being experienced by my daughter who also suffered restlessness –  Akathisia “I feel like I am crawling out of my skin, Mum – please help me, please help me come off these drugs” .  (what could I do –  I am just a mother and have no knowledge how to take someone off the drugs yet social services and the team use this as an excuse to get rid of you as nearest relative).      It was on Cipralex she suffered  suicidal thoughts.  On Aripraprazole she suffered what would appear to be an eating disorder and felt ill after eating every meal.   On all of these drugs she suffered terrible skin irritation leading to scratching her face leaving permanent scars and a further prescription of the drug Lymecylcyn prescribed by her GP on top of a huge quantity of drugs already being given.  To top it all they prescribed paracetamol and Lorazepam – sometimes my daughter was being given 3 drugs at a time.  I had to point out to the GP that the Lymecylyne should not be given long term according to the instructions which I had read and I am not even a doctor and the drug was then immediately stopped.  Psychiatric drugs can shorten life by 25 years or so,  leading to shrinkage of the brain, Tardivia dyskinesia, Neuropleptic malignant syndrome, Akathisia.  When I was at the IOP last year the Dean was giving a speech saying that smoking caused shortage of life however afterwards I confronted him about this and referred him to my leaflet detailing 14 mind altering drugs given to my daughter.   It has nothing to do with smoking –  I know someone in my family who died at 100 and was a heavy smoker.  Elizabeth started smoking on an NHS ward of all places – this was through boredom and stress.  It must be very stressful to be on one of those wards and on the particular ward I am referring to Elizabeth was the only girl amongst about 9 men.  This is totally unsuitable for someone who is vulnerable. 

Amongst some of the interesting correspondence I receive through my blog from various  I could not help agreeing with the comments in one of them  “according to Peter Breggin – drugs cause indifference in the brain and apathy”.  I very much respect Peter Breggin.  He opposed reintroduction of lobotomy in the 1970’s once believed to be good practise.   I agree with my reader’s comments – the drugs are a form of modern lobotomy and especially the fact that if the drugs are not given for too long there is a chance the brain can rebuild itself.  Very true indeed –  I do know of people who  have got better completely and I also doubt the accuracy of some of these labels too.   The drugs can cause suicide –  Elizabeth was suicidal when put on Cipralex back to when she was 19 years of age.

WHO CARES?

The fact is unless someone is personally affected no one  really cares –  if the Government cared they would provide the facility for someone to go into but now they wish to silence people and I think this will lose them many votes.  They support anti-stigma campaigns without doing anything to help people like my daughter who have been stuck in hospital for years on end, some of whom are abandoned by their families and alone.  The advocacy is recommended by the hospital and patients are often referred to solicitors recommended by the hospital and then if someone is very vulnerable that solicitor does not bother to go or explain about a report showing a completely different diagnosis.  Where is Elizabeth’s support in dealing with a form for instance.

It is when you disagree with the system that you get huge backlash and you are treated like a criminal and can suffer bullying by the team with threats to remove you as Nearest Relative.

One of my readers mentions that if they do not follow protocol these professionals would be kicked out so  bullying is rife in the profession and on huge dosage of drugs anything can happen in a hospital and then what!    I heard from other patients who have shocking cases of abuse that they get nowhere with the legal profession.  I would like to see more accountability as I do know that not all psychiatrists are bad.  I also know you can choose a psychiatrist in April and I would like my daughter to have someone like Dr Moncrieff.

Psychiatry is a great machine to oppress people.  

Advance Statements are ignored –  I am not the only one judging by the letters I have received from others. 

They do not do proper blood tests  B12 magnesium, calcium, folic acid, estrogen level, gastrointestinal causes, under thyroid/over thyroid laboratory tests.  Well I had these done privately twice costing hundreds of pounds and they were ignored by the local team and current.  Now the GP is having to obtain files from the hospital due to me questioning the Metformine and I have full consent to deal with the GP now witnessed by members of staff at the surgery.  A family has a right to know certain things if not everything.  If Elizabeth had diabetes for instance we as a family should be told.

When you stand up for the person you care for a team tries to put blame on you.  They try to discredit you and I was accused of not giving the drugs properly recently.  I have been accused of influencing my daughter when in fact I have backed her decision in the past.  However I know now speaking from leading experts that the level of drugs my daughter is currently on would be very very dangerous for me to attempt a withdrawal and would need expert assistance.  So, this team have given my daughter a life sentence and knew all along all the serious incidents that have happened to her.  They have dismissed the possibility of her suffering from trauma, ignored a report by a professional psychiatrist of many years and that too goes for absolutely everyone involved in my daughter’s care.

I have read the Government wishes to look at physical health well for a start it is not good enough when a GP has to retrieve more files from the hospital to explain why someone is put on the drug Metformine.    It is not good enough to wait until someone has a blood disorder before they take someone off the drugs in the most dreadful manner.  How about a facility such as Chy Sawel that has professional involvement where when in the case of serious physical illness someone can go in to be humanely taken off the drugs.    There are facilities for someone on illicit drugs for instance and any drug withdrawal should be done with proper medical supervision and slowly and gradually. 

The drugs can mimic the mental disorder which may be wrong but when the treatment does not work they still continue the same treatment of drugging at the same level and nothing different is given.  If no proper tests are done in the first instance on complete blood chemistry it is no wonder things do not work.  Such tests are not available on the NHS. 

I know of more than one person cured despite a label of Schizophrenia and now off the drugs completely and that says it all. 

A visitor to the group I go to from the pharmaceutical industry referred to the testing of the drugs that it is only when the drugs are released to the wider public that the full results are truly known –  a reader says “you only need 2 positive tests to put drugs on the market even if you get 40 negative ones.  They test for 6 weeks and many tests are manipulated.

Anyway as regards Elizabeth I believe she is still at her placement being given the chance to try out somewhere different as she is being discharged from Section 3 soon.  However conditions are attached to this and social services and the team are using the excuse that I will persuade her to stop taking the drugs or stop the drugs myself.   A leading expert has told me such a thing would be very dangerous on the level of drugs Elizabeth is on and it would take 4 years to come off them and she would need proper observation and assistance and this is something not given in the UK UNLESS someone has a serious condition such as a blood disorder.    What is upsetting is the team completely ignore you when you say you would not attempt this.

I would agree that the UK is becoming more like something out of book I once read by George Orwell!  Just look at what is going on –  The Gagging Law due to take effect in September –  this is not a free country and I have been elsewhere in the world to see what martial law is like and rationing of food etc.  Well in the UK there are food banks –  people can barely afford to meet the cost of living, the weakest and most vulnerable people are targeted unfairly and as for the benefits system how will this affect my daughter Elizabeth on 850 mg of drugs how can she function.  

The social worker said Elizabeth had not completed a form regarding a prospective placement –  well who is helping my daughter Elizabeth? –  who is supporting her?  – it would appear that no one is really supporting her and that instead of choice of placements Elizabeth is being guided towards just one.  It so happens that Elizabeth does like this placement but in light of the unfair treatment she has received I as a mother wish to see choice and whilst I have no intention of influencing my daughter as regards the placement or drugs –  shame on this Country that the system is so very cruel, rife with control and bullying and I would agree with the description of  one of my readers  “Totalitarian Country” and I would add to this that I believe the treatment of such people like my daughter is AGAINST GOD. 

I pray to God that he can help my daughter and bring about an end to this shocking abuse.  I pray that the religions of the world take an interest in the abuse going on.      

Anyway now to my weekend.  I have had  a nice weekend so far and have met up with all my old school friends, all of whom have known Elizabeth from a baby.  We went shopping together and had a meal out which was very nice. 

Tomorrow I am going to make some new acquaintances through an organisation I got to hear about on Twitter – Stand Alone.  My case may be very different from others but I am most interested to hear about what others are going through. I know that some mothers who have not read the books I have distance themselves and do not want to know and some of the patients on the ward with Elizabeth have said to her ” you are lucky to have a mother like yours” .   Well I am only too happy to educate some of these mothers myself with the knowledge I have gained from reading so many brilliant books and I hope to acquire more from say Dr Peter Breggin and Dr Grace Jackson.  With lack of understanding of some parents,  it is all the more reason to have open dialogue.  It is also a good reason for a team to take a second look at some of their actions which can result in harm to the family.  Instead of working and communicating together with a family they will resort to taking you to court to get rid of you as the Nearest Relative when you as a mother may have researched the treatment and questioned it quite rightly so.  This is bullying in my opinion. They need to put themselves in my position as a mother and think how they would feel if they were in my shoes as if this was their relative and it would not hurt them to go out and buy some of the brilliant books that are not apparently according to my reader available in the Libraries.  Such books should be available for all to read and be properly educated.

I will telephone Elizabeth tomorrow – it is her Birthday and she will be 26 very soon but I will not be seeing Elizabeth on her Birthday.  I only hope wherever Elizabeth is sent she will be under a more understanding team who do not wish to get rid of me as a mother but wish to communicate properly for a change.  It is all down to communication and if Elizabeth is happy for me to deal with her GP then this says it all.  I am not interested in every detail but I am as a mother interested in her physical health and I do not think that the team appreciate the full facts and certainly they seemed to lack knowledge of some of the research that I have been looking at that you cannot dismiss these facts.  

I was travelling to work in the chaos of London when I got a text from Elizabeth. She is being allowed to stay at a placement but I cannot say where this. There were meant to be 3 choices but I was concerned that this was not being done fairly and so I contacted social services. They told me that Elizabeth was not sure about 1 placement she went to see which I thought was brilliant. However today I have changed my mind about this after the tone in which I was spoken to. Anyway there is one more placement that Elizabeth should see and I am waiting to hear whether this is going to be arranged. There needs to be choice for Elizabeth and then it is up to her of course. I then telephoned the GP as I am waiting for some information but this was not able to be provided as yet.

Anyway I had a shocking time getting to work today and arrived about midday and then in the evening I decided nothing was going to stop me from doing my favourite classes at my gym. So I took part in these and by the time they had ended the traffic had got better. I then got more than one bus all the way home and arrived home at 11.00 pm. To think I have the same thing tomorrow and Friday as well – plus next week.

Anyway it was certainly a very scenic journey back through London tonight on the buses whereas I would normally travel on the underground. Elizabeth has said she would tell me about her stay at the placement and whether or not she liked it but so far so good. However it is every bit possible for her to be able to stay at the other place and all I want is fairness for my daughter – she should be allowed choice. On the subject of choice so should every patient be allowed choice – choice in treatment and choice in care and from April it is a good thing that you can choose a psychiatrist. I am hoping the new psychiatrist will be just like Dr Joanna Moncrieff.

Is nonconformity and freethinking a mental illness? According to the newest addition of the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual ofRead More… http://themindunleashed.org/2013/11/nonconformity-and-freethinking-now.html

Negotiation and the Power of Finding Alternative Options
Total freedom for everyone is a dangerous myth. In pursuit of absolute freedom, we will all end up feeling like “slaves” of one kind or another. The answer to feelings of “oppression” is for everyone to always have plenty of options.
So, when negotiating with anyone, including psycho-social service professionals and including clients, one should always solicit at least 2 alternative options from the other person, and always suggest as least 2 options of your own, and always negotiate at least 2 compromise options in any difficult negotiation situation.
Person-to-Person Therapy
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a modern therapy that has the objective of achieving as much “psychological flexibility” as possible. It basically aims to undo the obsessive, compulsive and addictive patterns that result from past trauma and too much worrying about further future traumas. So, modelling “psychological flexibility” in one’s own behaviour, and actively contradicting one’s own obsessions, compulsions and addictions makes complete sense.
Peter K. Gerlach, author of the “Break the Cycle” programme, gives a good explanation as to how “addictive personalities” gets passed down from one generation to the next, so I recommend studying his work and working through his programme.
John Bradshaw, author of “Healing the Shame That Binds You”, also has much to say on the subject of “addictive personalities”, their roots in “being excessively shamed”, and how to recover.
Another therapy that is calling out for more attention is Schema Therapy which explains that we see the world through “filters” (called “Schemas”) that have arisen as a result of past traumatic experiences, and the way that one sees the world has to be adjusted if one is ever to recover.
Then there’s my invention which I call “Modality Therapy”. In this therapy I have found it extremely simple and helpful to label, as well as possible, everyone’s “operational mode” (though perfection in such labelling is not required). See Appendix 3 for full details.
Then there’s my variation of the “Open Dialogue” group therapy process which is a facilitated group healing process. See Appendix 4 for my “Open Dialogue Group Guidelines”.
Meditation
If you have stumbled across a kind of meditation that produces positive results for you, then that’s all very well and good. But, I personally dislike most off-the-shelf versions of meditation as they all seem very unnatural to me.
My own version of “meditation” involves “tuning in” to one’s own inner “tinnitus”, as and when, in any idle moment.
“Tinnitus” is the whistling sound that can sometimes, if not often, be noticed in one or both ears behind the sounds of the everyday world. I find that when I “tune in” to my inner “tinnitus”, I get to notice it more clearly and more loudly. And, this technique requires no special position, and it doesn’t matter at all whether one shuts one’s eyes or keeps them open.
“Tune in” whenever you think to do so, whenever you can do so, whilst you get on with your life, whatever you happen to be doing at the time. It can do no harm, and is likely to do much good.
The Healing Power of “Being There for Another Person”
“Being there for another person” can be done in many ways. I will list some of the most beneficial ways here:
1. Providing low-key company (relaxing together, parallel activity, occasional inconsequential conversation).
2. Witnessing (being with and just paying attention to what is going on for the other person, noticing the client’s existence for more than a few minutes at a time).
3. Listening (being with and gently encouraging the other person to do as much or as little talking as they need to, as and when it suits them).
4. Hearing/Understanding (trying to make some sense of some of what is being said and showing some understanding, support and encouragement only when we sense that that understanding, support and encouragement is likely to be welcomed).
5. Making it as easy as possible for a client to process what needs to be processed in the service of “going through” with as little “interference” as possible, where “interference” is any communication or intervention generated by any agendas other than the client’s agenda.
6. Making it easy for client to “get things off their chests” with as little “interference” (see above) as possible.
7. Talking to the client with thoughtfulness, consideration, kindness, care and helpfulness, even when that client is so preoccupied with his or her inner life that he or she is verbally silent, only uttering the occasional word or phrase, or communicating in any way that makes him or her hard or even impossible to understand with any clarity.
[Such thoughtfulness, consideration, kindness, care and helpfulness is always noticed by the client, even when it looks like it has not been noticed, and it provides the client with a incentive to express himself or herself better which is an essential part of his or her journey towards some kind of recovery].

The healing process of “going through” proceeds at a pace that is inversely proportional to the amount of “interference” given, and so one should always be mindful of putting downward pressure on “interference”, so as to facilitate as much “going through” as possible.
However, perfection in this area is not required because a client that has a great deal of support in “going though” what he needs to “go through” will quickly become more tolerant of a modest degree of “interference”, especially when that “interference” is perceived as occurring for good reason and/or as a result of necessity.
It should be noted, however, that in the early stages of “going through” some clients will become more “difficult to manage” and not less, but patience and professionalism are recommended because the dividends associated with “being there” for clients in the “bad times” as well as the “good” are always great.
Also, on the subject of “interference”, when aiming to provide “therapeutic engagement” with anyone, one should be cautious about interrupting any silence. Silence can be therapeutic because it gives the client a space in which to work things out for himself or herself in the absence of “interference”. Too much silence can also be anti-therapeutic when the client is prone to feeling, unsupported, misunderstood and/or abandoned (left to do everything on his or her own). So, a balance needs to be struck, knowing that too much silence is always better than too little. Therefore the rule of thumb should be: If in doubt about whether to interrupt a silence, then don’t interrupt it.
More about the Value of Understanding, Support and Encouragement
What is written here applies to clients regardless of their degree of “emotional disturbance”, but the effects of good practice with more disturbed clients will be noticed more clearly, although good effects will show up more quickly with some clients as opposed to others.
Many clients talk unintelligibly for some of the time, if not much of the time. Some clients hardly talk or communicate at all. The problem here is that as a result of this “acquired behaviour” they rarely or almost never get any feedback from others showing that even parts of “their story” have been well understood by another human being. This is unfortunate because the resultant “isolation” forces them deeper into a chaotic inner world that is disconnected from present time reality to some degree, maybe to a severe degree. The chaotic inner world of such people is held in place by a network of past traumas and future fears which may be beyond “unpicking” even with the help of the most experienced of therapists.
The answer is to spend a lot of time with such clients providing them with company, waiting patiently to pick up as many verbal clues as possible, observing patiently to pick up as many non-verbal clues as possible, and deducing what patterns of thoughts and feelings might be turning up for the client, repeating themselves in the client’s inner life, and doing battle in the client’s present time reality.
And, as part of this process, as much feedback as possible should be given to the client to show some understanding, support and encouragement of a kind that the client welcomes, whilst being very mindful of the problem of too much “interference” (see above).
And, one should typically communicate with “emotionally disturbed” clients as if there’s nothing concerning about their presentation (this is the opposite of “pathologisation” — see below). Some nurses do this instinctively. Others do this to a lesser degree. But, sadly, psychiatrists see no point in hiding their absurd prejudices, and they see every point in treating their prejudices as incontrovertible facts that, when “challenged” by others (they say “denied” by others) are taken to be clear evidence of those others’ insanity.

I am waiting to hear from the GP who is prescribing Metformine for  Elizabeth.  He has had to contact the hospital for their records. .  Metformine is prescribed for Type II Diabetes however the team say it is being given for weight loss.  Drugs are recommended short term – but where is the evidence that given long term they are any good?   As a mother I’ve seen such substantial decline in my daughter and wish this to be addressed.    A GP should take great interest regarding the physical health of my daughter,  whereas the psychiatrist tend to dish out drugs after drug  in such a way that they do not take into consideration physical health.  It is of no consolation that they claim to carry out tests on the physical well being – the fact is I have more than proven what they are doing is totally wrong.  When I produced the private reports from Bio Lab I’d had done years ago these reports showed substantial deficiencies/decline  yet were ignored by the team.  I have since had more of these tests done for Dr Walsh when he comes over here.    It is not a good situation that a GP has to revert to the hospital asking for files/records which they should have been given in the first place in my opinion.  The last time I questioned prescriptions from GP v psychiatrist  was when the local GP gave Lymececlyn for skin problems.  The drugs had caused my daughter to have terrible skin irritation and led to her scratching and this in turn led to infection. This drug was supposed to relieve the symptoms of the other drugs being prescribed and  I looked up this drug and was horrified –  I questioned with the previous GP why they were still prescribing it after so long when it clearly said on the leaflet that it should only be used short term.  The drug was then immediately stopped.  I am now doing the same with the Metformine –  if there is any problems with my daughter’s physical health then we as a family need to know because she may have to be put on a different diet – this could be life threatening if say she is diabetic.  I am sure that no one – neither psychiatrist or GP really looks at adverse drug reactions, especially in instances where more than one drug is being prescribed.  This is totally wrong and could be life threatening to the patient and new measures need to be put in place.  The GP will not interfere with the treatment from a psychiatrist – why not if the drugs are harmful!( I do not think psychiatrists are that knowledgeable about the full workings of the psychiatric drugs and how they interact with other drugs.  I do not think they have ever done a reduction properly as I know that this needs to be done very carefully and very slowly.).  I have been amazed at some of the psychaitrists comments regarding these drugs and have questioned whether in fact they do have enough knowledge on the workings of these drugs, having read up so much myself and sought specialist advice from leading experts.  As I said to Mr Burstow I doubted whether  all of these psychiatrists really know the full workings of the drugs let alone the correct way to withdraw someone which leads to failure and do they monitor properly the taking of these drugs or withdrawals from them in the community – well I VERY MUCH DOUBT IT.  I have seen nothing done properly as far as reductions are concerned re Elizabeth and this has led me to doubt the competence of some of these professionals.  Someone like Dr Ann Blake Tracy would know exactly how to do things properly for instance and should be invited to the UK along with Dr Walsh and Dr Shaw and every expert in this country should be brought together to determine what should be done about the current crisis situation in the UK where wards are overflowing and patients returning time and time again.      At the Bethlem Royal Hospital for instance the Psychiatrist there said I should sit back and relax and let the experts to their jobs – so the Professor and Pharmacist were the experts in terms of knowledge of prescribing and the psychiatrist just came with out with the reduction would be done over 2 weeks when it should  have been over several years so this was doomed to failure.  The Pharmacist could not stop smugly smiling throughout the meeting and this so called specialist hospital was meant to give “best treatment” ie drug free period as recommended by Professor Murray who even defended them by saying that I should give them a chance.  The pharmacist stopped smiling when I questioned what was so amusing but I find this kind of arrogant behaviour as unacceptable by professionals who truly think they are above the law but they are certainly not above God and it is awful to experience this and be threatened but I am not the kind of person to be intimidated.     It was at the Bethlem she was given contra indicated drugs of Metformine and Clozapine and my daughter was so ill she experienced strain to her heart and could barely walk. In the first instance my daughter gave authority for the family to be able to freely discuss the care with the professionals and be included and she signed an Advanced Declaration with the instructions of no more experimentation but the Advanced Declaration and consent to the team were both ignored and then on the drugs what they did was turn around and say she had changed her mind and did not wish for family to be included or have any real information.  All you got was a weekly phone call from the lead nurse who talked about nothing really – the minute you asked a question – the question was unanswered  They meddled with the drugs leading to adverse behaviour mixing one with another leading to Section 2 and then I was subject to bullying by legal representatives in order that I agreed to a Section 3 or else be replaced as Nearest Relative. Where are the regulations in place? – it is no wonder some psychiatrists and other MH  professionals can sit there laughing/smugly smiling.

Who Really Cares?

The easiest option is to ignore whether a patient has a physical problem such as Diabetes which is CAUSED BY THE DRUGS and I would not be surprised if things are covered up should they find anything serious.   Some psychiatrists receive funding from the pharmaceutical industry and they do not care about the wellbeing of patients –  the patients are there to be used a human guinea pigs whilst they get the funding.

I have been critical about the Government’s spending of £25,000,000 on MH professionals working alongside police.  I have commented that some patients could have a valid role.  However some think it a good idea but  I know for a fact that if a patient has psychosis they can snap out of it when the right approach is given and if for instance 6 police officers approach someone in terrible distress this is bound to cause more distress to the patient. The right approach is far too often not given and if someone is dealt with humanely then they will respond likewise. It is the same for MH professionals who descend upon a patient in a crowd just to give a drug injection and this goes on in the shocking acute wards where I have heard patients begging to be released to go to prison instead of. An acute ward has not worked for my daughter and whilst there may be some patients who do not mind being treated this way I as a mother am not happy at this treatment of my daughter.   At least in prison you are told when you are being released. In the MH you have to fight for release under a system/law that can be easily usurped. I can quite understand a patient’s reluctance to go on these wards having visited so many times where drugs are given as a means of control and every time I visited I saw the same faces back on the ward.  The drugs do not erase someone’s painful memories as in some cases they do not work at all yet no alternatives are given.  The side effects of the drugs can be hallucinations and akathisia amongst other terrible things yet experts link this with the illness rather than with the drug. When a patient seems to be progressing OK temporarily the drugs are praised but when things do not go well the illness is blamed rather than the drugs.  It is when someone stops taking the drugs that there are complications.  The Psychiatrist said to Elizabeth and the family that she had a diagnosis of Schizophrenia and would have to take the drugs for the rest of her life.  Totally untrue!  He not only got the diagnosis wrong but what he said is wrong too – however a reduction needs to be done correctly and if not done correctly due to lack of knowledge of the drugs then this is bound to fail and it should be done in a safe environment. I was against the drugs back then but other members of the family felt here was a professional doctor who should be listened to – however it is only now that the rest of the family are questioning and are concerned of the decline in appearance and physical health in Elizabeth.  She now needs 24 hour care.

There can be recovery if given the right treatment and someone who has withdrawn from the drugs can experience “never having felt better” – my daughter withdrew from a small dosage of Aripraprazol (her idea, not mine as she was suffering terrible side effect on this drug) but this was done wrongly and if you do a reduction too steeply then it will fail and can lead to psychosis which would also apply to any changes in drugs – also I knew nothing about the drugs at the time.   If my daughter had been able to go into a facility back then and have the expert assistance needed, she could have got off the drugs much easier but now is a very different matter and I would not attempt to do this yet still the team use this as an excuse against me to try and get rid of me as Nearest Relative. 

By the way the new diagnosis which is being kept from my daughter by the team is PTSD.  The treatment should be INTENSIVE TRAUMA THERAPY.  The drugs given are CONTRA INDICATED.     I must speak to Sir Simon Wessely about this who wishes to improve the image of psychiatry. With his military background he would be well aware of the condition of PTSD and of the research by Professor David Healy.   Well this condition does not just apply to military and in that case I as a mother want to make sure that my daughter has the correct treatment which is certainly not a lifetime of drugging. Article 33 of Good Practice says “you must be considerate and listen to the views of family members” – this is something he and other professionals can also note and especially the success of Finland (Tornio) where I would like to go with Elizabeth one day.

Tomorrow I will write more shocking revelations as there are just too much to put on one blog and also I have not finished featuring my guest blogger with his brilliant piece THE NEW PSYCHIATRY.

My Daughter who was once physically well and fit, is in bed at 7.00 pm,  feels tired, dizzy and confused and needs 24 hr care. I am ashamed of the fact that the UK has such a cruel system in place.

In the words of some of my readers – here are some very true comments “we have never felt listened to”.  “we were controlled and put on the drugs” when someone is vulnerable the patient can be easily manipulated.  How about this  “Incurable but treatable”  –  this is laughable because the treatment they dish out leads to physical health problems and that goes against the professionals role of “DO NOT HARM ” – I do understand that if anyone in the profession dares to speak out, the system is rife with bullying and I understand someone can be ridiculed, lose their jobs, be bullied and harassed however there was talk at the IOP last time I went on resilience – I think I come into that category. Having been a carer for everyone in my family and seeing certain family members go downhill with say cancer and Alzheimers, a child drugged, other people – well I am certainly resilient and what is more I do not care if I am ridiculed and I do not care if nasty comments are said because it would be cowardly not to come out and say this to my face. Also I wish to point out that if anyone tries to give a diagnosis to me I would never accept it having read so many books, watched dvds etc.

I have just returned the car to Enterprise Car Hire after my stay in Wales and then I hope to go to BMW garage to see what is wrong with my car. Everything worked out well in the end and the journey was good boh there and back. The farm I stay at with my daughter Elizabeth is superb but Elizabeth was too ill to go into the local Asda Store and looked as though she was having a panic attack before we were due to leave. I wanted to get her some clothes as everything she brought with her did not fit and was too tight or too small. She had a voucher left over from Xmas so Elizabeth is petrified of heights and even the escalator leading to the top of the store where the clothes are kept. I went in alone and a friend stayed with Elizabeth in the car. I bought some longer length jumpers and trousers which fit her – a size 16 as before she was a size 10. I cooked dinner in the cottage which felt more like home than my own house. The views surrounding the cottage looked beautiful and I could not help thinking if only I lived in a place like that rather than in London. I felt the environment was the right place for Elizabeth to get better. I remembered a fantastic Indian restaurant nearby and drove there but because Elizabeth does not feel comfortable eating out in restaurants or anywhere where there are crowds, I got a takeaway. Elizabeth goes to bed early – she goes to bed around 7.00 pm. The drugs make her very tired and after she has just taken them they make her feel dizzy and disorientated. I bought some DVDs to watch – it was not nice weather and so we could not go out anywhere. People go for walking holidays where we stayed and I remembered back to when Elizabeth liked sport and walking – not only that she was a very good runner and advised me on technique when it came to speed and she also took part in a sponsored run for which I have certificate. Elizabeth does not have the energy to do what she once used to. She does not have the strength to pick up a phone and call someone – this is where it is all very unfair when someone like my daughter should have legal support and backing and regular contact from solicitors but her solicitors were changed to a Welsh firm by the team and when I asked my daughter if she ever saw a solicitor – she said no. She said no one (up until very recently) told her of an important decision. She said no one to this date has told her of her new diagnosis or given her a copy of the report by the consultant psychiatrist I appointed stating a different diagnosis and treatment. Well it is a good job that I am the Nearest Relative as I wish to make sure that my daughter is treated fairly. I do not think my daughter has been treated fairly and that is because no one cares about her physical health. Certain behaviour of various professionals have not been ethical in my opinion – I cannot even print what a certain solicitor has called my legal representative – d… h… I will leave this to your imagination. Then of course the displacement of me as the Nearest Relative. These attempts have happened twice now and apparently I am advised that this is extremely commonplace. It is done by trying to sever contact and distance the person under care to the mother or whoever is the nearest relative and then someone from the team says “do you really want your mother to be the nearest relative?” – it is also done by making that person feel embarrassed and ashamed if they do not go along with what is expected of them. No team should try and influence a person who is vulnerable or under their care in such a way. There is a reason this is done and that is when there is something to hide.

Well, when I went to see Elizabeth I needed to know the name and address of her GP. I had no idea the GP had been changed but this had all been carried out by the team. So with the Job Centre checking up on my daughter the first person I turn to was the GP. Of course you are up against a barrier the minute you try and discuss anything. Unlike in Finland there is nothing like a humane system here in the UK – in Finland they have decent care with 95% success rate although that is in a small area of Finland called Tornio. How I would love to go and see this care for myself. So, Elizabeth did not even know the name of her GP so I found out who the GP was and took Elizabeth along there whilst I visited. What is going on! My daughter does not know about the new diagnosis let alone the name of her GP. Now thanks to me she does know the name of the GP and they were extremely nice when I called there with Elizabeth. Elizabeth has given permission for me to speak to the GP. What I am concerned about is that some drugs are prescribed via the hospital ie 350mg of Clozapine. Then 500mg Metformine is being prescribed by the GP. I have had this situation before – a skin care drug called Lymececlyn was being prescribed by the GP on top of other drugs being prescribed by the hospital. Luckily I research this drug only to read that this skincare drug should only be given short term. Immediately the GP stopped this chemical especially when I provided evidence as to potential harm. Now a GP is there for physical health and therefore I pointed out that the drugs concerned were CONTRA INDICATED. I have been told that I must not interfere in anything to do with the drugs but as you can see there is a huge problem here – who is looking at my daughter’s physical health. Obviously to be given Metformine there is a problem and when there is a problem or even a potential problem a review needs to be given otherwise if things are left as they are then this will be a drain to the NHS as my daughter could become even more seriously ill.

So I am copying this link of my blog to all of the politicians. I want to know what they are going to do about this.

So far I have seen anti stigma campaigns and then £25,000,000 spent on police working alongside MH professionals. I as a mother want to know what is being done about specialist centres ie somewhere that can really look at what harm is being done by such contra indicated drugs and if there is harm being done then quite rightly so things need to be done properly – on an acute ward full of other people it is not a good place to deal with something like this. I would hate my daughter to end up again on an acute ward. A farm full of animals would be nice with the expertise of Dr Walsh and someone who really knows the full workings of the drugs and there are experts out there.

Where are the facilities – this question is given to Mr Hunt, Mr Lamb, Mr Burstow and Mr Clegg. I would like to hear from them all about this as I want something done about the decline in my daughter’s physical health and I intend to address everything at conferences and in public if something is not done.

I am not happy that there are some honest professionals who have to go along with a system that is rotten and needs changing otherwise they could lose their jobs or be bullied and harassed. Well I have less to lose than they do and I do not care what people think as I am more concerned in drawing to people’s attention what is really wrong with the care than my own reputation which is probably shattered in any case judging by the things I have read about myself in past files. These people have never really got to know me or really taken an interest in home and family background so why should I care less what is said about me.

So, we obviously need to know if there is something really wrong with my daughter physically or if something has shown up on the tests that the team are worried about. The reason we as a family need to know this basic information is that if say my daughter has got diabetes for instance I as a mother need to know what diet she should have when she comes to stay with me or the rest of the family. If you are not provided with this information then that could be detrimental to the physical health of my daughter.

Somebody on Twitter has said that people with MH problems can get better – I replied to the contrary – how can someone get better if their physical health is being ignored.

There is much in the way of research going on right now that the public may not know about. The Government should be giving more funding to those experts who care about the physical health and there are such experts about who are being honest and admitting that whilst the drugs can be effective for some, others may not be able to metabolize them but then again what about the long term effects of the drugs on physical health.

Whilst the Government is stripping the NHS of funding and A&Es/Maternity Wards are being closed down in favour of private sector care – well as far as MH care goes I can comment that the prime care of drugs has remained the same and even increased yet it has been pointed out that the drugs are contra indicated at the same time – the prime treatment remains the same. Much needed A&Es are being shut down that provided a good service and what is draining on the NHS is MH care for those returning time and time again on the wards but what can the staff do. You cannot just take someone off the drugs on an acute ward. It can make someone unstable if they have any change in the drugs as well. All I have seen time and time again is increase after increase in the drugs after each admission. This is clearly not the answer and having sat down with my daughter her memory is still intact going right the way and certain people were mentioned as though she was in a time warp. It reminded me a bit of my father with Alzheimers.

Here are comments from my daughter Elizabeth “Mum – I do not think the drugs are doing me any good”.

I had nothing to say to these comments – what could I say when I have looked so hard to find a decent place that could help my daughter but there is nowhere in the UK that I know of. All I know is that if done correctly someone can be drastically reduced off the drugs but if a drug reduction is done too steeply then it is bound to fail and then a psychiatrist turns around and wrongly says “you have to take the drugs for the rest of your life”. If things are done correctly in the first place then this is completely wrong and untrue.

However I have heard from more than one professional that SOMEONE IS IN FACT TAKEN OFF THE DRUGS WHEN BLOOD DISORDERS OR SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS ARISE. Yes it is done.

I am 100% behind Chy Sawel because when someone has the right diet and nutrition and environment whilst tests are being done unlike under the NHS – in fact some of these tests not on offer you have to have done privately like I have had and that costs money. So here is another way the NHS can save money. What is the price of having such tests done at the Bio Lab as opposed to just carrying on drugging all the time until someone has a very serious health problem?

This is the question I wish to ask all the politicians.

I would also like to see them come to the next Chy Sawel meeting so they can hear from more than one mother and some former patients what care is needed. It would be great if they could provide a suitable meeting room that is convenient for them all to attend themselves as this is so important that something is done as soon as possible. I cannot accept that a change can only take place very slowly and gradually when there are lives at stake here and that means urgent action is needed.

As regards the training of these up and coming professionals under the Royal College of Psychiatry – it is a good thing that Sir Simon Wessely wishes to change the image of psychiatry. I think he should take these points into consideration as well as the entire Government. After all I am not dismissing the drugs altogether however I have made some very valid points here and can provide proof.

I am in tears right now.  I have promised to see Elizabeth and have made arrangements not everyone in the family can come with me but it is her Birthday how can I tell her I cannot come at the last minute.    I have been very busy at work today and have not had time to properly sort things out and now I am trying to do this.  The garage has informed me there may be a problem with my car.  Former friends stole money I gave to repair my car and I understand from the Police this car has been scrapped.   I will never get my car back and trusted these longstanding “friends” and the court has ruled that there is nothing they can do so I have lost money however I bought another car and paid for this car and now something major is wrong so the mechanic thinks.  Anyway I have no choice but to  hire a car but the trouble is it is late and the car hire shop does not open until 9.30 am I wanted to leave well before then.    Anyway things like this in life happen and more than one thing seems to go wrong for me.  It may take some weeks to get my car repaired as the garage in the next road is very busy and I do not wish to drive it if it will cause harm to the car.  I know this is nothing compared to what some people are going through but sometimes little things like this can become unbearable.  Elizabeth has texted me to say she is looking forward to seeing me and last time I was late in arriving as there was roadworks and trouble on the roads and she was anxious and upset.  Anyway I must pull myself together – there are times I feel I am on my own when dealing with things as no one understands.  My younger daughter is happy now –  there is case similar to hers in the papers right now – my younger daughter did not want to live and I have copies of the cyber bullying she received and physical threats at the time.  Some children do not know how damaging this can be however far more damaging and what is not reported are the mind altering drugs.  For instance Elizabeth did not experience what her younger sister did at school but Elizabeth must have gone to her doctors and the doctor gave her some anti-depressants.  Who on earth advised her this!  I would have said NO DONT GO.  I remember when I lost my mother and she died of cancer after three years of seeing her go downhill I went to the doctor and asked for sleeping tablets and got offered Valiium.  Luckily I realised –  I did not take many.  I would never ever advise anyone to take these tablets I soon got to find that I was craving for them and knew I had to stop.  After that experience I have never ever touched another drug.  I do not drink much – if I go out just in moderation as drinking can lead to you feeling depressed and as for drugs even though I did not take much of the highly addictive Valium I am thankful that I realised and I felt absolutely terrible at having nothing which at the time I felt bolstered my confidence through a difficult period of losing my mother and watching her go downhill and putting on a show of strength.  I overheard on the telephone that she had two weeks to live.  My mother did not want me to know however what is better knowing or not knowing in the circumstances.  I suppose this has made me an open person who does not feel ashamed of having two daughters under the mental health.    I suppose being just a mother it is easy for me to comment – it must be far worse if someone is a patient and has experienced what is on offer on the wards and it is of no fault of some of the dedicated nurses.  I have recently met some really decent professionals just when I thought there was nothing here in the UK.  It is true there is much dishonesty and much is hidden from the public.  Unless you are affected yourself who cares about the mentally ill.  Some people have no sympathy – they think they have themselves to blame but what I have seen has opened my eyes and when I see someone on the streets I no longer think the way I used to –  no one can understand unless they really research matters and some may think people who are diagnosed with these labels are dangerous to the public and should be locked up and that it is the right thing to do to drug them up.   I would suggest that such people read books to educate themselves like I have done.    One way or another tomorrow I shall make the journey and I think the best option is to hire the car as I will need a car there in Wales.  I have booked the usual accommodation but again this is a flying visit –   just two nights in accommodation and about 1 day with Elizabeth.  Elizabeth I do not feel is any better.  She has to cling on to us to walk, she cannot stand to be in crowds any more, she feels dizzy, ill after eating, she is like a child excited at me coming to see her tomorrow so I cannot let her down. 

I have to use up two days holiday from last year this month but the timing of all this could not be worse. 

Once in Wales I hope to go out with Elizabeth in the car places but wherever I go I have to think about peacefulness of the area and Elizabeth is petrified of heights – she is more anxious than ever before – she is more disabled than ever before and she has a new diagnosis that I bet no one has told her of.  She has only just been told about her forthcoming release.  Now what!  Elizabeth faces a lifetime of drugging – shortening of her life by 20 years.  All because she did not have the right care in the first place.  Guess what – Elizabeth can remember everything –  I was shocked –  At Xmas Elizabeth sat down with me to talk – all 14 mind altering drugs and what have they done for her – nothing.  Elizabeth is now suffering from physical health problems and on Metformine which the team say is for weight loss however Dr Ann Blake Tracy who the previous consultant psychiatrist called a “Quack”  said otherwise and so have other experts so who do I believe.  Who could be covering up truth.  I would rather have the truth any day and if something happened to my daughter be told – I would respect this and would not go running to a solicitor not that there is any that would take on such a case because my eyes have been opened wider from what I have seen.  I am lucky Elizabeth is being released but what about all the others and some who do not have mothers to stick up for them and expose what is really going on.   “you are up against a lot of power ”  – in response to these comments  God is more powerful than anyone and may God look at this situation and do something about it. 

There is research that is not widely known about by the public – there is a lot going on behind the scenes and I may well need another appointment to discuss further issues.  Sandra has sent me the business plan in draft for Chy Sawel and it is my dream to see some humane care in the UK –  it is not that there are not humane people it is the SYSTEM IS ROTTEN.  What are we headed for – an army state of healthcare?  I have been looking at the backgrounds of some of the top people in care right now – an army state of healthcare is what it looks like to me and I am just a mother but there are people making a lot of money out of misery right now and others who are afraid that may not agree with what is going on in their profession or what they see right now.  They are afraid their reputations will be ruined, they will lose their jobs or suffer bullying or harassment or worse.  Well I think myself lucky.  Twitter lately has come up with certain well known people being bullied, threatened – even death threats well as far as I am concerned I am grateful –  I am grateful for all the support I have had from strangers and I have not h ad such threats yet I am speaking out about a subject that I would expect to get such threats and if anyone has any grievances I would be more than willing to meet with them personally as I cannot see anything more cowardly than a death threat on line.  It is better to say things face to face and be honest in my opinion.

I feel I am in a hopeless situation.  Every day my daughter is receiving 850mg of poison which is not making her any better.  I doubt the team have told her of the new diagnosis of PTSD which I happen to agree with.  With a new diagnosis should come a new treatment but there is not yet one specialised centre established but as I have said there is a lot going on behind the scenes right now and I think that a slice of the money being used right now to appoint professionals to work alongside the police should be offer and that the Professors who are doing the vital research into really improving the system should be given the maximum in research money by the Government as the whole care system is in crisis.  If the care is the same as in the NHS – just a more luxurious environment – in my opinion this is not the right answer.  A proper assessment centre is needed as mistakes can be made – if a mistake is made and someone is wrongly labelled and say like they cannot metabolize the drugs then this could be doing harm to their physical health. 

If Elizabeth feels well enough she may wish to write to you herself.  By the way for anyone who thinks it is wrong what I am doing my daughter is entitled to know I have a website although I do not tell her absolutely everything on my outspoken comments on the drugs for which I have no regrets or apologies.   If they work for some people I am not telling anyone to stop taking them.  I am not commenting on other people’s cases.  All I can see if the harm they are doing for Elizabeth and right from the very start –  The antidepressant Cipralex caused severe mood swings ranging from suicidal thoughts to aggression and as friends comments “she is unrecognisable”.  Yes – that says it all.  There is also now talk about the long term effects of these drugs and the harm they do to someone and yet only as a last resort is anyone taken off them – why wait – why are there not any centres to deal with this.  ANY drug is harmful to come off not just psychiatric drugs.  There is help for some on illicit drugs.  There is no help for those once labelled from a condition which may be entirely wrong like in Elizabeth’s case.  Then you get the threats and bullying from the team if you dare to ever challenge what is going on. The only time the smiles were taken off their faces was when I announced I was on the Police training course.  I only wish that there had been the funding to do what I really wanted to do at the time for m e and that was to the a Police Community Support Officer – simply because I wanted to work with people like my daughter who I respect 100% – they are the most decent and honest people I have come across and there is so much ignorance out there I would welcome anyone to contact me and to meet me in person.

I have not finished publicising the wonderful New Psychiatry Blog by my  guest blogger who by the way I appointed as an advocate.  The reason I appointed this person as advocate was that I was very impressed with his honesty, experience of the system, enthusiasm and I think that someone like this could have a very positive role.  To think that the team once described me as “over protective”.  My answer to this is nonsense – I would personally appoint a former patient as a peer support and I have seen there are good professionals out there I would wish to appoint as well like Joanna Moncrieff for instance.  I am hoping to meet similar minded experts when I go to a certain venue that is opening shortly. I would also applaud Dr Ann Blake Tracy and Dr Walsh.