I am hoping for a better year with Elizabeth’s release at long last from hospital and hoping that she chooses the right placement and moves on with her life. I am hoping to see Elizabeth in a week’s time – it is nice to get away from London however if I did not work or have a car when would I ever get to see my daughter. There is no rush to pay basic expenses for vital meetings and certainly no help towards visiting when someone is placed miles from the family home. There has been no news other than what I hear from Elizabeth herself. No-one picks up the phone and tells you anything. I am still waiting to hear whether it will be OK to have Elizabeth stay with us. Elizabeth will be 26 soon but this will be in February – maybe the rest of the family will either go and see Elizabeth or bring her down.

We will hear next month on a decision no doubt where Elizabeth will be placed and I hope that Elizabeth will make a choice that will make her happy and be able to move on successfully in her life.

My biggest hope is that Chy Sawel is set up and that all the Professors doing vital research that is not widely known amongst the general public can be involved together in a project that can look at indepth assessments before a label is given wrongly. My daughter has a new diagnosis now and I want the correct treatment for her. I would like all the expertise and research to be widely known and on offer to not just my daughter but everyone. It would be cheaper to have specialised tests done than keep someone in hospital for years and years on end who is receiving the wrong treatment and not getting any better. I have already had tests done privately which show substantial decline in my daughter’s physical health which is being ignored and I have also been studying recent research over the last two years which should prompt a major reorientation of the treatment of schizophrenia and psychosis and a fundamental reappraisal of the use of anti-psychotic drugs in general. Why should my daughter’s life be shortened when wrong diagnoses have been given in the first instance.

On Twitter today I have read about the appointment of Sir Simon Wessely as President of the RCPsch and how he wishes to improve psychiatry.

It is my hope that he comes and listens to what the mothers and patients have to say and not ignore important research. How can psychiatry ever be improved unless they do something positive in terms of much needed change. If there are mistakes made then how can these be rectified? Where is the facility for this to be done and I would like to hear personally what he has to say on this.

I am also hoping to meet lots of decent psychiatrists when I visit the Dragon Café when it opens soon as well as go to the INTAR conference in Liverpool where I shall hopefully meet more professionals – the kind of professionals that wish to see vast improvement which is much needed that is for sure.

I am looking forward to another meeting with the mothers/fathers who wish to see decent humane care in the UK very soon. I was surprised at what a good turnout there was at the last meeting considering many did not live locally.

“Negotiation and the Power of Finding Alternative Options

Total freedom for everyone is a dangerous myth.  In pursuit of absolute freedom, we will all end up feeling like “slaves” of one kind or another.  The answer to feelings of “oppression” is for everyone to always have plenty of options.

So, when negotiating with anyone, including psycho-social service professionals and including clients, one should always solicit at least 2 alternative options from the other person, and always suggest as least 2 options of your own, and always negotiate at least 2 compromise options in any difficult negotiation situation.

Person-to-Person Therapy

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a modern therapy that has the objective of achieving as much “psychological flexibility” as possible.  It basically aims to undo the obsessive, compulsive and addictive patterns that result from past trauma and too much worrying about further future traumas.  So, modelling “psychological flexibility” in one’s own behaviour, and actively contradicting one’s own obsessions, compulsions and addictions makes complete sense.

Peter K. Gerlach, author of the “Break the Cycle” programme, gives a good explanation as to how “addictive personalities” gets passed down from one generation to the next, so I recommend studying his work and working through his programme.

John Bradshaw, author of “Healing the Shame That Binds You”, also has much to say on the subject of “addictive personalities”, their roots in “being excessively shamed”, and how to recover.

Another therapy that is calling out for more attention is Schema Therapy which explains that we see the world through “filters” (called “Schemas”) that have arisen as a result of past traumatic experiences, and the way that one sees the world has to be adjusted if one is ever to recover.

Then there’s my invention which I call “Modality Therapy”.  In this therapy I have found it extremely simple and helpful to label, as well as possible, everyone’s “operational mode” (though perfection in such labelling is not required).  See Appendix 3 for full details.

Then there’s my variation of the “Open Dialogue” group therapy process which is a facilitated group healing process.  See Appendix 4 for my “Open Dialogue Group Guidelines”.”

                                                                                    ——————————————————————

Speaking of Open Dialogue this is something I am greatly in favour of myself.  I have noticed how carers are treated and feel that this could work in some cases.  Maybe this and other choices of care should be available to patients that do not get better under the current system.  I believe that open dialogue could ease the pressure of emergency services and there are people who would like to be involved in negotiating with the patient –  I believe it can work and it should not be just the police and MH professionals involved here.  People like my guest blogger could also play an important part in helping.

Today has been a very quiet day – I have not spoke to Elizabeth but did speak to her during the week and she sounded quite happy and positive.  I hope to go down and see her in the near future.  I am getting back into routines now that Xmas has gone and have dragged  myself back to the gym again.  I used to take Elizabeth along to the local gym but now I go to one in London which is very nice.  The problem is there are many nice places that sell good food in the surrounding area of the gym and I am leaving late in the evening.  It is too tempting at times.

I am extremely happy to hear some positive news about Chy Sawel and hope soon there will be another meeting in London.

I am looking forward to going to the Dragon Café as well –  I have heard some extremely good reports about this.

Then I hope to really put an effort in to raising funds for Chy Sawel .  I would like a specialist centre set up in the UK looking at how best to treat those who are not getting better and being affected by physical health.  This would hopefully involve Dr Walsh who I met a year ago and was most impressed.  There are other things as well that need to be looked into as many mental health patients have suffered from trauma and automatically given the drugs rather that decent care and because of this they do not get better.  There has been important research done on PTSD and this needs to be looked at closely together with tests to see if someone can metabolise the drugs as otherwise they can do more harm than good.  I think that a different approach needs to be given to some patients and that there is no choice.  Some patients prefer to go on acute wards and take the drugs and for others this kind of care is not working.  As my guest blogger says with the right approach it is sometimes possible to talk someone down whilst suffering from psychosis.  A fellow patient and there are many who wish to help – they should be allowed to help in such circumstances in my opinion.  I think a former patient could have a very important role to play and I as a mother would be delighted to have this kind of involvement for my daughter alongside the professionals.   The right kind of peer support is what is needed.   Wrong diet can also affect someone’s behaviour and in the right environment – a peaceful location then I think this is the way forward as from what I have seen of the acute wards they are not peaceful locations and I do not believe in any case they should be used long term.  They do not suit everyone.

£25,000,000 for MH professionals to work alongside the police at police stations – well why not include some former patients themselves to assist.  Some patients would be excellent in a situation of crisis of another patient and I have seen time and time again on the wards patient looking after patient and there are some that have no fear of helping others and may well offer the right approach down to their first hand experience.  

And, where clients are well enough to engage with “talking therapies”, the “going through” process can be facilitated with specialist support such as Life Skills Training, Group Therapy, Loss and Bereavement Counselling, Trauma Therapy, Schema Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), but I will say more about these methods below.

“Therapeutic and Anti-Therapeutic Environments”

An environment is therapeutic only if it is homely, only if it’s staffed by people who are thoroughly humanitarian and friendly, and only if client needs are met to the satisfaction of a sizeable majority of the clients for most of the time.

In a therapeutic environment, self-help should be facilitated as much as possible, but everyone’s frustrations should be managed well, and no one should be left “in limbo” for extended periods of time (not leaving someone “in limbo” meaning that when the client sees a need for a “way forward” with an important and/or urgent matter, he or she is not left getting more agitated for any significant period of time with no way forward).

Anti-therapeutic environments are environments that, apart from not meeting the above specifications, are staffed by people with agendas that serve some or many things other than client interests.  Such environments are damaging in that they can easily entrench existing “psycho-social health problems” and problems of “emotional disturbance”, and/or make matters a lot worse for clients with such problems.

“Therapeutic and Anti-Therapeutic Staff Interventions”

Excessive seclusion is “an abomination before the Lord”, doing much more harm than good.  Seclusion in isolation should definitely be used only until “unmanageable derangement” has subsided for around 5 to 10 minutes, and should be followed by “seclusion” with the company of a single member of the staff team who is up for the job of “talking the client down” into a place where the “seclusion” can be ended, with PRN “medication” being given “as part of the deal”, but only with the consent of the client.

Ideally, “restraint” (legalised assault{?}, especially if injury results) should only be used when a client is so clearly “unmanageable” that “restraint” is seen as necessary to get the client into seclusion.

“The Only Way Out Is Through”

To put oneself firmly on a path towards meaningful recovery from “emotional disturbance” one has to “go through” some pain, chaos, confusion, misery and fear before one can “re-emerge” with the capacity for making more meaningful differences in one’s life.
In too many cases, psychotropic drugs inhibit the “going through” process, interrupting progress, blocking progress, or even making matters worse, the result being it being made hard or even impossible for any meaningful recovery to begin, progress and/or get anywhere near complete enough in the client’s eyes.
And, all help should be as “client-centred” as possible and all matters of “chemical or electrical intervention” (with drugs or ECT) should be a matter of “client consent”, except in those few cases where there is a clear need to override client consent in the interests of the client. Client consent must never be overridden in the interests of anyone else as it is always “an abomination before the Lord” to “medicate” one person to address the “sensibilities” of another. Even the preferences of someone who is considered by most to be “chronically deranged” should be respected when those preferences are expressed clearly and consistently.
And, it should almost always be preferable to “contain” someone in a “secure environment” indefinitely than to “medicate” them without their consent. (IF ONLY THERE WAS THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT IN THE UK) However, according to my latest thinking, it may make sense to “enforce” PRN (as needed) “medication” without consent in clear-cut cases of “problematic derangement”.”

My comments are in capitals as I truly believe that an acute ward and enforced drugging is wrong in some cases and I truly believe that if only there was a specialist centre proper assessments could be given as some people cannot metabolize the drugs. I personally think the system is very wrong and whilst some people like going on the wards and taking the drugs others are suffering. I believe there should be choice and I do not believe patients are being treated fairly or families. I have recently had a few debates on Twitter which is a good thing. I might have my views on the subject but others may not agree but would still be interested perhaps if there was a specialist centre with open dialogue and I would like to see the patients themselves involved. I obviously cannot put everything on this blog or on social media but I am not the only one who would like to see a fairer system and there is lot going on that people are unaware of.

Some Terminology Changes
The term “Mental Health Problems” should be replaced with “Psycho-Social Health Problems” which is better terminology because it’s less fear-provoking, and because such problems actually relate to “dysfunction” across the faculties of the mind, the emotions, social capacities and the spiritual.
And, the term “Mental Illness” should be replaced with “Emotional Disturbance” which in extreme cases may manifest itself as a client becoming “Deranged”, although the term “Deranged” should be used sparingly and only where it makes complete sense to do so.
The terms “Ill” and “Unwell” should never be used because these terms give “carte blanche” to people masquerading as “doctors” to step in with a view to “fixing” something that isn’t really broken in the first place. The term “Illness” should be replaced with “Condition”, and the term “Unwell” should simply not be used because “unwellness” is a matter of subjectivity and degree, not a matter of black and white objectivity.
And, the term “Panic Alarm” should be replaced with “Incident Alert”, and any “Incident Alarm” sounds should not induce panic or alarm in anyone, because neither panic nor alarm is appropriate or helpful, and because both panic and alarm cause people to make mistakes, too often serious ones.
Other recommended changes include: “Non-acceptant with ‘medication’”, instead of “non-compliant” with ‘medication’”, “‘medication’ declined”, instead of “’medication’ refused”, and “psychiatric view contested”, instead of “psychiatric view denied”.
For the remainder of this document, I will use the terms “Psycho-Social Health Problems”, “Emotional Disturbance”, “Derangement”, “Condition” and “Incident Alert”, in the hope that the reader will become accustomed to them.

This is to be continued in my next blog.

I spoke to Elizabeth yesterday and she is better now.  Unfortunately, Elizabeth was not well during her stay but there is so much going around and the entire family have had the misfortune of suffering flu over the Xmas period but never mind.   I myself rarely go to the doctors but speaking of which I had cause to contact my GP surgery recently and it would appear they have washed their hands of my daughter Elizabeth.  No-one bothered to let any of us know of the retirement of the family doctor who has known the entire family for years on end.  This has led me to doubt the effectiveness of GPs taking over the care and especially the charging of patients as someone like my daughter for time wasting who could be deeply affected.  I rarely ever go to the GP surgery myself and I look back on years ago at a difficult time in my life when my mother died of cancer.  The first thing I got offered was the drug Valium.  Luckily I realised quickly how very addictive this drug is and I am anti drugs quite rightly so even since – it was no answer to my problems at the time when I was quite young.  The effects of stopping taking even a small portion of these chemicals was very notable.   I  now as a result avoid having any drugs apart from the odd Parcetamol  or say a cough sweet but only when really necessary. 

If only I had known Elizabeth was going to the GP surgery –  I would have said “STOP!”  –  before going there I would have warned Elizabeth about my experience. It was the GP Surgery that prescribed Cipralex that had the most devastating affects resulting in shocking skin problems caused by irritation and a complete change in personality.  I did not at first put this change down to the drug however having read up so much on anti-depressants,  I realise that it was the drug that had caused severe adverse reactions to my daughter back then.  Whilst I know that some people can get on with these drugs effectively there are no proper tests being carried out to see if someone can in fact metabolize the drugs and if not then these drugs can prove very harmful.  it was very noticeable to the entire family that there was something very wrong but at the time I as a mother had a lot of trust in doctors and their expertise.  I know now that there is quite a divide in opinion amongst the professionals themselves which has made me question everything and unfortunately, after experiencing severe side effects from Cipralex when Elizabeth took herself off the 30mg of Cipralex I as a mother now wish that I had done my research then on these drugs and I would have said to her that on no account should she take herself off in one go.  I wish I could turn back the clock but many people are not advised proplerly as to how safe these drugs are let alone about withdrawal from them. In fact as I have been told even some of the professionals themselves do not know the full workings of the drugs and how to properly reduce someone off them.     I remember Elizabeth suffering severe mood swings and headaches on Cipralex and this in turn this affected her behaviour and sadly led to hospitalization and that was the biggest shock of all where the care has been the prescription of more and more and more drugs pushed at my young daughter then just 19 years of age who eventually just gave up hope after having been given several diagnosis and then quite a serious label.  Before that she wanted to work and get on with life but there was no encouragement whilst in hospital and I even tried to help by getting her little jobs and this was not looked upon well by the professionals. 

So now the GP surgery do not want to know about my daughter because they have not seen her for some time.  I as a mother had not been advised by them of the retirement of the longstanding family doctor.   Whilst I understand about confidentiality I believe that there are occasions when you may need to consult with the family GP – for instance when someone staying with you is very ill and if in certain instances you are requested for such information but you are denied even the most basic information.

When I asked Elizabeth she said she did not know who her GP was. It was like at the Bethlem when Elizabeth did not know what the drug was beginning with the Letter M.   This led to me being banned when I got to find out she was on the diabetes drug Metformine – contra indicated when given alongside Clozapine which has recently been raised.    Elizabeth is not capable of dealing with information or organising things herself, picking up a phone to speak to the hospital’s recommended solicitor or advocates  It is not that she has no knowledge whatsoever, it is the fact she does not have the strength to deal with things as the drugs have weakened her.    When someone is under a section and strict, strict control of a team everything is closely monitored and things are organised for that person if that person no longer has the strength of character to pick up a phone and do things for themselves unless that person is capable of asking things are not done fairly.  That person may also feel under pressure from having to go along with advice from the team so this is the full picture and I know of people who no longer have the strength to stand before a Tribunal and remain in hospital for years at huge cost to the public simply because they feel they cannot go through with the stress of a tribunal.

This kind of thing throws into question how can someone like Elizabeth survive without adequate and fair backing in the community?  How can someone like Elizabeth report to say the Job Centre and fill out necessary forms.   What when benefits are stopped for someone like Elizabeth who now suffers from severe panic attacks and anxiety?   For instance when Elizabeth was in the community I often found letters on the floor and cheques unpaid.  I once found bank cards in the bin.  Elizabeth needs a lot of help to get by in the community and someone like Elizabeth who cannot get to vital appointments on time, cannot work due to being on a high level of mind altering drugs but that does not mean that Elizabeth is lazy and should be written off.  I as a mother am confident that with the right help in the community Elizabeth could do something however I have had to contact a privately funded charitable organisation to see if they can offer any kind of advice as if they have managed to get some people who are classed as being untreatable the right kind of help I never stop having hope that somewhere in the UK there is the right kind of assistance.  (I am not talking about the stopping of drugs by the way!).   What about the proposal of GPs that someone should pay £10 for “time wasting” –  here is what I think of this proposal: –  I quite rightly think that this is very bad.  Whilst initially I was all for GPs thinking that my longstanding family doctor had the whole picture – the whole family background unlike psychiatrists who appeared dismissive well now I have a different opinion.

Whilst I am not against all MH professionals,  I truly think that by spending so many millions on  having MH professionals at the police station is not the answer and would be better spent on providing a choice of  facilities and care in the community to avoid the hospitalisation revolving door scenario of some patients that are considered “treatment resistant” and who do not improve. The Government should listen to the former patients and families –  if a system is failing then someone like my guest blogger could come up with some good proposals. I think as a mother that if patients themselves could be involved in helping someone like my daughter (some truly wish to be involved like my guest blogger) then they could be the very people who could better help someone in a state of crisis, who have been through crisis experiences themselves.  This may be more reassuring to the patient in crisis in some cases like my daughter than to be faced with  police or professionals, not all of whom have understanding and maybe this could avoid the admission of some patients to  shocking acute wards or avoid arrest. Perhaps someone like my guest blogger could be employed in such a useful capacity under Open Dialogue scheme that is so successful in Tornio, Finland.   Whilst some professionals do not handle a situation well at all they can cause more damage through their to interventions and destruction of family relationships based on wrong assumptions, without  getting the full facts –  this is something else that could be tackled under  Open Dialogue involving groups of former patients themselves and more involvement of families where possible.   Being discarded like rubbish and controlled and kept down is not therapeutic in my opinion and that is what is going on under psychiatry.  It is not a professionals or the police who could help someone like my daughter – it is none other than a former patient who has the true wisdom and understanding.  It is having the right companions and not everyone is bad under the MH – far from it and many could have a very beneficial role in this respect.   If there were facilities like in the States such as Earth House and Cooper Riis this would be a good investment.  More research should be done into epigenetics re MH and PTSD instead as this could be the real answer to some patients getting better who are classed as “untreatable”.   I cannot accept “treatment resistant”! 

Extracts from the Introductory Paragraph of “New Psychiatry” written by my Guest Blogger.

I shall feature extracts from this brilliant piece of writing on a weekly basis.  It may be critical but there are some valid points that should be considered before any professional can just dismiss matters”. 

“Providers have a congenital inability to overcome any obstacle more challenging than getting a job with the Service Providers (which clearly can’t be that difficult judging by the incompetence-founded haplessness of most of the staff that I have had the misfortune to have had to engage with so far).

And, even the good staff I have encountered so far, seem to have no ideas whatsoever about how to influence the bad ones, other than by dropping hints and fruitlessly hoping that the bad staff will find ways of turning hints into miracles.  Some of the worst problems are “bad culture”, “bad leadership”, “bad internal communications”, “putting a gloss on everything for the purposes of cover up”, “an aversion to setting expectations (because then failure becomes possible)”, “an aversion to upsetting colleagues”, and “a cruel and callous disregard when it comes to the matter of upsetting large numbers of Service Users, even seriously”.

I have known my guest blogger for some time through the group of former patients I meet with from time to time called Speak Out Against Psychiatry.  I consider this person to be of no risk to the public but this is a case that is all down to enforced drugging and I believe this is wrong as there are other ways that this situation could be dealt with.    

Anyway I am very impressed with the writing skills of this individual who has vast experience as a service user within the mental health system and excellent writing skills.   I cannot help thinking – what a waste that someone like this is in hospital who could play a vital role, if included, in improving services for all service users and then there would be no complaints!  

I may have to do more than one blog to feature the many valid points he makes which I list as follows:

“in any organisation or institution where there is no clear understanding of the problems, few good ideas about what can be done to help, cash starvation, obsession with minimal cost REGARDLESS of consequences, endless expediency, fire-fighting and corner cutting, insane silo politics and complete lack of leadership, scrutiny and accountability.  Such organisations and institutions evolve like out-of control cancer driven by never-ending bad compromise of the kind that panders to the fears of control-freaks and the fears of the paranoid leading to the endless turning up of new weird and horrible problems, partial solutions turning up at random sometimes and good ideas always dying a death in infancy.”

“the system is totally insane”.

“bad science coupled with insane bigotry, arrogance and over-caution”

“psychiatry is an out-of control very badly designed bureaucratic machine”

Take SLaM for instance (I have shortened some of the comments):-

“Complacency of management and on-going denial of anything every being seriously wrong”  (these comments are made in conjunction with their  Management approach re improving patient experience).

“good thinking is seldom acted upon”  – these comments made in conjunction with Board discussions about key ingredients of an effective service – client-centred decision-making, collaborative (shared) decision-making, informed choice, informed consent, undesirability of over-medication, importance of focusing on well-being and recovery etc etc.  

“When projects fail:   “it seems no one ever bothers to identify obstacles to success with a view to overcoming them”.  “Virtual absence of follow-through”.

Future plans appear year on year to be all show, having “no positive impact on patient experience” yet the Management team like to show that staff are working hard with a view to realising meaningful significant improvements.

“Referring to millions secured for research for ever more powerful medications with hopefully fewer serious side effects, this begs the question  – is suppression of symptoms with mind-distorting chemicals ever changing for the better?  It should also be highlighted in our very carefully considered opinion that because the Management team seems never to take its critics seriously, project leads routinely fail to deliver anything noteworthy.” 

He goes on to appeal that “please do whatever you can to call Mental Health Service Managers and Clinicians to account whenever they fail to listen, whenever they fail to get serious about understanding the legitimacy of the concerns of their critics and whenever they fail to act decisively and with follow-through, in accordance with all recognised understandings”. 

My guest blogger commends his psychiatrist on the one hand with  having an excellent memory however he puts this down to the memorisation of textbooks verbatim, textbooks that are all about controlling people with no interest whatsoever in promoting their well-being.  Therefore no proper thinking is done in his opinion.  He has come up with a diagnosis for the psychiatrist “a text book robot who has been programmed through verbatim memorisation of all textbooks on the subjects of control freakery without heart and the power of the chemical cosh who uses what little remaining humanity to mock victims.

My guest blogger has re-written psychiatry in a lengthy document which I am currently reading through and considering featuring on my website.   

My guest blogger should be given a role himself to work with the Board to focuss on improving an outdated system that is failing so  many.  My guest blogger should have been featured on the recent television series.  This is someone I have seen liven up the ward and encourage/support other patients.  

Well I HEAR YOU and I hope so will others particularly the professionals themselves as something needs to be done about a situation where wards are overflowing and there is a lack of beds because of high demand.

Introduction:

I was sorry to hear my guest blogger is back in hospital again.  Here is an example of where care is failing when “treatment of enforced drugging” does not work.   I believe a much different approach needs to be taken especially for those who are “treatment resistant” to the drugs or may dislike taking them due to terrible side effects.    How can this be achieved unless there are specialist facilities provided here in the UK  and I do not mean a hospital – a prison like environment.  I mean somewhere far more therapeutic like Chy Sawel where patients would be treated humanely and proper assessments given.   If there are centres provided that involve professionals in quiet and peaceful locations in the right environment I do not see any problem. I just do not believe anyone should just be written off and that nothing is done about a situation where care simply does not work.   The drugs do not cure someone and can in fact make someone worse that is for sure and what if someone is misdiagnosed or are suffering from serious physical health problems – nothing should be ignored.   All the more reason to have some specialist facilities set up with the Country’s leading experts being involved who know everything about the drugs,nutrition, intolerance/food allergies etc as well as those involved in intensive trauma therapy/PTSD.  If someone is not getting any better they could have the wrong diagnosis and this needs to be clarified by leading experts in the field of say autism and PTSD and then instead of just writing someone off, a new plan of treatment is agreed upon.

I will soon be including some of the writing of my guest blogger who has written a whole piece on “New Psychiatry” and I believe he has made some very valid points which I will be featuring shortly.

 I will add to this blog as I am impressed with the brilliant writing skills of this individual and feel what a waste when someone like this could have so much to offer – there are many others like my guest blogger who are forced to take drugs – something could have  happened to that person – maybe they have been misdiagnosed or have not been properly assessed.

Xmas this year has been good.  My daughter Elizabeth has been allowed to come and stay and has just left to be with the rest of the family.  .

Elizabeth asked me to pass on her thanks for everyone’s kind support –  lots of people, complete strangers from all over the world have offered to help and have sent personal emails.  Elizabeth likes music and I showed her some of the musicians following her but   I do not show Elizabeth my outspoken comments on  my views regarding the drugs and her treatment.  Elizabeth wants everyone to know she had a great time at home this Xmas.

We had guests over in the evening that my younger daughter knew from Italy who were away from their families at Xmas.   I did some food as I had quite an abundance of food in for Xmas.  Unfortunately the next day Elizabeth was ill not surprisingly having probably eaten far too much.  I have noticed every time Elizabeth eats she feels ill and this reminds me of when she was on Aripraprazole. I thought she had developed Bulimia on this chemical.   The hospital had given her a gift voucher and I got her mainly clothes and money but Elizabeth will be too ill to trapse around the shops in London – she would not like this at all so I have warned the rest of the family not to take her shopping in the sales.

Elizabeth wishes to share some good news with everyone.  She wishes to tell you she is being discharged from hospital soon but she needs to look at some places first and has only been to see one (I cannot mention where) and she liked it.  Elizabeth asked to come home and live at home but this will never be allowed as the team do not trust me and think wrongly that I would take her off the drugs or persuade her to stop taking them.  The leading professor tells me it takes 4 years to come off these drugs in her case.  I am not a doctor and unfortunately do not have the knowledge to reduce someone off drugs for a start and even without the fantastic advice I have been given this kind of thing should be done in a proper environment but my criticism is where is there a proper environment if treatment goes wrong or if diagnosis is in doubt.  Elizabeth has still not been shown the report by an independent doctor by anyone.   I think this is bad.  She has also not been told by anyone in the team about possible discharge.  I have told my daughter this good news and it is good job I know about it as to keep important matters like this from a patient is not right and extremely unfair.    It is not honest to do this.  If any mistake has been made in diagnosis then it should be rectified and an apology given and fresh look at treatment but no one will ever own up to this.  Things can easily be covered up when matters are kept secret like an independent report from the patient and I have been extremely honest with my daughter and this is why I do not like the current system of care.  I do not agree with such secrecy.  This is why things need to be changed and patients who has been misinformed be properly advised and notified and the sooner things are changed then the better.  That way the correct treatment can be given rather than plod and take the easy route.  I am not the kind of person to take the easy route as nothing positive can ever be achieved and I do not mind the world knowing who I am either as I am not ashamed and do not believe in stigma.   Elizabeth said she often feels ill on this medication after eating and suffers headaches.  Unfortunately Elizabeth remembers past friends likes yesterday and I hope that once out of the restrictive environment of the hospital she will move on in her life and make the right kind of friends and be happy.  Only with the right friends will she be able to move on and forget her past and of course the recommended intensive trauma therapy.   By the way I do not agree with ECT as I am touch with patients who are most upset they have lost precious happy memories as a result and it is horrific if this kind of treatment is forced upon any patient.  This treatment should not be forced upon anyone and if this is done then it is abuse in my opinion.

It is recommended Elizabeth has intensive trauma therapy and this should have been given in the very first instance. Anyone who has suffered abuse should be offered this treatment in my opinion before being put on the mind altering chemicals that do not work for everyone and being given a label that may well be wrong.

Anyway it will be a quiet day today and I intend to visit the old lady I have known for a long time.  I have a lot of clearing up to do in the house. 

Tomorrow, Elizabeth will be taken back to Wales.   I have kept a couple of days back for when we may have to go down for any meetings.

In all it has been a very successful Xmas and I have felt so happy.  The best part was us all sitting round the table having dinner together on Xmas Day.

I am full of hope for the future and things are looking positive and my main wish would be to see positive change: openness and honesty surrounding mental health care and involvement of families by way of open dialogue as families are excluded in many cases and everything is so unfair –   a patient should be treated openly and honestly and this is not happening under the current system as I have documented.

There are many patients who are highly intelligent and could offer so much to others.  One such person I will be featuring in my guest blog which I will do at the weekend.  This person has written a fabulous piece called “New Psychiatry” and I think that this should go right to the top in  my opinion –  these valid points should be discussed at Government level.    It is far too long to feature in my guest blog so I have sent a draft of what I wish to publish for the approval of this person who is currently a patient in hospital and knows exactly what he is writing and has had extensive experience of the system .  All I am doing as a mother is listening and in fact I agree with much that he has written.  Many professionals could learn a lot by listening to this person who wishes to be heard by the world and wishes to talk openly and honestly about his observations and views and I admire such honestly and am proud to soon be featuring this excellent piece of writing.  This person should be given a positive role to represent the patients in much needed improvements in respect of mental health care in my opinion.