I have left Xmas this year to the last minute as I have been busy with decorating and am just about getting up straight. Elizabeth is allowed to come home this year unlike last when she was escorted by 2 nurses and was only at home for a few hours before being taken back. Her sister is picking her up halfway where staff will be meeting with her as I am not able to do this so I am very grateful about this. Elizabeth has texted me to ask me to buy something in the way of food she likes. Today I have been shopping and tidying up the house as well. I am exhausted. I have no holiday over Xmas and so have been rushing to get things done at the last minute. During the week I went to a fabulous party with my colleagues in Chelsea. It was sheer luxury to stay for 1 night at the Novotel in Hammersmith. Well I would recommend this as whilst the room was not the best I have stayed in and did not compare to the fabulous accommodation in Madeira or the view come to that the breakfast was every bit as good and I do not have time to have a breakfast in the morning as I have to be up so early to travel in to Central London. Anyway Elizabeth will be staying Xmas Eve and Xmas Day with me and then going to stay with her Grandparents and rest of family and they will take her back. I have a couple of days carried over in holiday for January – there may be meetings coming up that I may have to attend so I would rather carry over these days as I may need time off. I am so looking forward to being like a family again just for 1 day. I am positive that the New Year will bring something good and I hope to catch up with Mr Burstow and Mr Lamb to discuss what they intend to do about things bearing in mind my extensive discussions. I hope to go to a conference in June and I have fabulous news – I am going to keep that a secret for now – I have more than one piece of news that has made me so very happy. Over Xmas I hope to visit the old lady who has become part of the family but unfortunately I am unable to do what I was once doing as I now work full time. We used to have her over every year to us at Xmas along with my father until both became too severely disabled. I think Xmas is a sad time for many and a time when the elderly and mentally ill should be thought of. I hope that by writing my blog it makes other mothers think – well here’s a mother who is not ashamed – here is a mother who is proud and not afraid to speak out – I have read many books and educated myself but to begin with I did not understand to be honest. However I have seen more than 1 case in my family and I would advise any mother not to turn their backs on their sons/daughters. I would advise any mother not to be ashamed of speaking about the subject of mental health care and I believe this is the way forward for change and I am positive that Mr Lamb has something planned for change otherwise I would not have been invited and I want to hear all about this from him and Mr Burstow. A specialist centre is needed to do proper assessments that are not currently being done – the way to get rid of stigma altogether is to get rid of the secrecy surrounding the courts and include the wider public – involve them in cases like my daughter, bring things out in the open to show the public that people under the mental health are not all killers and also honesty surrounding the drugs would be a good thing – some people may not be able to metabolize the drugs. Some drugs may work for some but may cause adverse reaction to others leading to psychosis. This is hidden from the public instead of researching how to help these people they are written off as treatment resistant. Well here is what I think of this diagnosis THIS IS A LOAD OF RUBBISH! Given proper decent humane care an intensive trauma therapy instead of drug after drug is the way forward but I have been advise by leading professors that it can take years and years to come off the drugs properly however what should be provided is the correct facilities – ANYONE can suffer psychosis on these drugs or coming off them if things are not done properly and I only want a Bio Medical Scientist involved in any changes or someone like the professors who speak the truth. I also want Dr Walsh involved to look at the correct treatment and assessment and to train up the 20 doctors so if there are any doctors interested please contact Sandra Breakspeare as another leading Professor wishes to be involved in the Chy Sawel Project and I am delighted. There is hope for Elizabeth now and on this happy note I am going to wish everyone a very Happy Xmas and New Year and I cannot wait until the New Year as I am excited to see all these new developments in place.

I briefly read the blog by Mental Health Cop. I enjoy reading this blog and am pleased that recognition is being given. On the one hand it is good that someone in the Police is taking such an interest however I do not happen to agree with everything on his blog.

For one I disagree about the week long training course. I thought the police training on MH was excellent in my opinion however the best training would be for him to come and meet the patients and listen to what they have to say and maybe the police can be involved in a better way rather than just arresting. I cannot blame the patients for reacting the way they do having seen what I have seen.

It is nothing to be proud about being invited to speak in front of all these professionals. He would have more to be proud about if he was to come and meet the patients themselves who have suffered cruelty on the wards.

Well I too have had an invitation this year to see Mr Burstow for which I was very grateful. I was pleased he was meeting with Mr Lamb directly afterwards.

As regards being invited to speak in front of professionals. I have invited myself to do this! Twice I got up to speak at the IOP and backed Frank Bruno as I admired this honesty. I also spoke at Carers UK Conference.

I also admire Eleanor Longden – this is the kind of person the professionals could really learn from especially the Police/social services and psychiatrists.

I would be more impressed if I was to read on Mental Health Cop that he was meeting with the patients or that the police were doing something positive for the patients – for instance there is nothing to do at the weekends on the shocking wards. Instead of just going around and arresting the patients the police should have a better role in my opinion. My younger daughter whilst at school and when diagnosed with Schizophrenia was taken out with the police for 1 week during school holidays during the time I had to work. She had a brilliant time. Something positive like this would be good for the police to be involved in.

I am not impressed with reading about “places of safety”. I am sorry but where are these places of safety? A cell is more quiet and I heard not only my daughter but other patients begging to go to prison.

So here is my wish list for Xmas and very different from that of mental health cop:

An end to the cruelty of enforced drugging and CTOs and proper look at assessments and checking to see if someone is metabolizing the drugs. If not then the drugs could be harmful to that person and it is not only a waste of money but could result in severe physical health problems if continued.

It is about time the outdated law is changed and consultation for this change should be done with patients and not just the professionals . It is the patients that are suffering the abuse. Mental Health Cop talks about assaults on staff – well I am not in favour of staff being assaulted but this post is one sided as I have heard about the abuse to patients and what is done about this. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING – if mind altering drugs are given and tampered with like they were at the Bethlem then this leads to psychosis and who h as caused the psychosis in the first place – this is none other than the professionals themselves. You cannot mix drugs or do a steep reduction without causing adverse behaviour and I feel like this was done deliberately. The care is abusive – the law encourages abuse and if there were proper facilities available then no patient would have to go on a CTO. Also if the drugs are found to be doing more harm than good a patient is just ignored – this is when there should be a proper facility for a patient to go in and be safely reduced. A reduction of these chemicals is surely no different than a reduction from illicit drugs yet no help is given to patients to come off the mind altering chemicals in a proper way if someone complains of serious side effects. A patient is wrongly told they have to take them for the rest of their lives and whilst I am not saying to anyone to go ahead and stop these drugs, I think there should be the facilities given and professionals involved in helping in some circumstances and if a patient wishes for this to be done. I am not saying that the drugs do not help everyone but there are circumstances where they are dong more harm than good. By the way reductions are not done properly in the UK and that is why there are failures – too steep a reduction can cause psychosis and there have been suicide cases. So proper regulation needs to be put in place where bio medical scientists are closely involved who really know the workings of the drugs and how best to do any reduction – if a patient suffers from diabetes I heard they get taken off the drugs but there are others who complain of serious side effects but are totally ignored. Nothing is being done properly in the UK. Patients are kept on the drugs simply to control them and if the patients are drugged up then the staff can have a quieter time. I would not advise anyone to stop taking their drugs and whilst I may be anti-drugs I believe that unless you have the support of a professional it is not a good thing to stop taking them but my criticism is there is no choice and I do not know how staff can surround a patient, pin them down and inject them with drugs yet MH cop goes on about assaults on staff and not on assaults regarding patients.

I would like more Government funding into MH care and improvements on wards. I would also like to see at the same time much more support/investment to those in the community.

I would like to see inclusion rather than exclusion and openness and honesty instead of secrecy and cover-ups/bullying and harassment.

I would like to be able to choose the psychiatrist as the nearest relative with the consultation of my daughter of course – I thought Nick Clegg was going to do something about this. What has been done? I shall be writing directly to Mr Clegg about this he said changes would be made in 2014 . I wish there was also choice of country in order to get decent care – I would of course choose Finland – Tornio – the only place in the world they have decent care and treatment by the very psychiatrists I would like for my daughter. No wonder they have 95% success rate.

I would like accountability and openness in the family courts which are currently secret. I totally disagree with this and would like this case to be open as much can be learned by what is going on. This is the only way to improve things and much money could be saved.

I would like to see Chy Sawel set up and have Dr Walsh come over here to assess my daughter so she can have the correct treatment. A place for my daughter to go unlike a shocking acute ward that is overflowing – a peaceful environment away from a noisy bustling city. An ideal location would be a farm with lots of animals – Elizabeth likes animals. There is nothing therapeutic in an acute ward that is for sure.

I would like open dialogue introduced so that parents and families are included unlike at present. Not all families are abusing their sons/daughters.

I would like to eventually see Elizabeth living a normal life and having a job even if it is just a few hours a day.

Most of all I would like to see Elizabeth happy as is my younger daughter who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia as a child but is now on top of the world.

If I was to win the lottery I would use everything to set up Chy Sawel and Root and Branch Project and I would wish for Dr Walsh to come over and train up the 20 doctors.

I would like to see more patients included and given the opportunity with the right level of support to be able to take on a small job. It is disgusting that there is such a waste of talent out there as many of the patients are highly intelligent or else have brilliant artistic skills and much to offer yet these people are kept down by so called professionals.

Well that is enough of my list. It is not long now until Xmas – I shall hopefully see Elizabeth over Xmas and I have some good news – however it is only fair Elizabeth tells you this herself if she feels up to writing.

I shall be enquiring how my guest blogger is doing with his piece. This guest blogger has excellent writing skills and I am sure the piece will be extremely interesting.

Just like mental health cop I shall be speaking in front of people but as a “surprise” guest. I have thoroughly enjoyed going to events at the IOP. I have something very interesting to discuss with them but I cannot disclose this as yet.

This weekend I shall be busy – going to meet friends tomorrow seeing a show and having a meal out. A party mid-week and I must find out when the Carers UK party is as I miss out on many nice things organised by the carers group because they are during the day. I shall only see Elizabeth on Xmas Day and she will be spending most time with the rest of the family .

Elizabeth made it quite clear today that she does not want to go to a step down house………………. if that is the plan to keep hold of her by this hospital.  Someone said they had their own step down houses well maybe this is why nothing is moving on. There are meant to be other referrals but there seems to be some big holdup right now and having spoken to my daughter I am wondering if this could be the reason.  If someone got on the phone and communicated with the family then there would be none of this speculation going on.  “I just want to get on with my life now”  –    Anyway I want the world to know my daughter’s wishes – she has recently been taken to somewhere and liked that place very much.  Elizabeth’s wishes should be listened to.

I got a call from the consultant psychiatrist recently – the first call I have ever had asking what my requirements would be for Xmas but there was no mention on how long Elizabeth would be allowed to spend with her family.  So far only 1 night has ever been allowed and I have had to share my time with Elizabeth and the rest of the family who are living in two different locations.  Elizabeth lives about  the farthest away as compared to anyone else so she tells me herself.   I am waiting to hear whether the rest of the family can pick her up – that is the problem – I do not have holiday left over the Xmas period apart from the statutory days.  Virtually all my holiday has been used going to Wales.    If I did not have a car I would not be able to see Elizabeth.  If I did not have a job I would have no money to visit.   Getting back to my car I am obviously concerned that the car is looked after well what with all the driving I am doing.  Today I have managed to find a good garage for my car who are honest.  I am delighted with this as one previous garage had not returned my last car and I doubt I will see a penny of that money I spent on it ever again.  The people repairing my car were “friends” and had done work on my car before without any problem yet suddenly they ignored calls and made excuses for not giving the car back.  The Police will do nothing as this is a civil matter – they are just  not interested at all.  Being without a car for so long left me in despair.  When I had to visit Elizabeth in Kent it was really awkward and I had to rely on buses, tubes and trains and nearly all my time was taken with travelling but I made the effort even when I was banned from the ward apart from visiting for only 1 hour.  Because of sorting out my car today I was unable to go to  my group meeting with the former patients but may invite some of them over soon. 

The most I could hope to see of Elizabeth if I am lucky is just 1 day.   I just hope that will be possible.

Last night I went out with my former work colleagues to a very nice pub for a Xmas meal.  I have another Xmas do to go to soon as well which I am looking forward to.

I have managed to get over to my gym several times this week even though I have not felt like going.  The classes are very good at my gym but now that I am not training for the bleep test I do not do very much in the gym itself.  I was also using my gym for  training earlier this year for the Marie Curie Swimathon and completed 2.5km – I used to do competitive swimming so this was not a great achievement on my part as in one training session we had to do so much more but that was years ago now.  Elizabeth and her sister took part in swimming lessons but they were not interested in joining a club which was my main interest when I was younger.

I have told my two daughters that this year I want nothing for Xmas –  I believe Xmas is too commercialised and I would like to see them donate the money instead to something like Chy Sawel.  I used to take Elizabeth and her sister to church in the morning on Xmas Day and they both went to Sunday School.   Xmas to me would be for everyone to be together and that is all I could wish for.  I also usually visit an old lady on Xmas Day and take her dinner –  we used to have her over and with my father who had Alzheimers but in the end it became impossible as they both became so disabled to the point they could not walk.

I cannot say I am looking forward to Xmas this year and certainly will not look forward to Xmas if Elizabeth is not allowed to come over.

I was very pleased to attend this meeting as it gave me an opportunity to discuss mental health care and to bring along information and the wonderful book by Dr Walsh, as well as the leaflet all about Chy Sawel.    I gave copies of my own leaflet detailing the enormous amount of chemicals plied to my daughter Elizabeth and said none have worked and that no thought was given to physical health.  I was able to back this up with proof.

I was led through to a restaurant area with indoor trees and I have to say Mr Burstow listened intently to what I had to say –  none of it good apart from when I described the care that is needed referred to in the brochure of Chy Sawel.  I also told Mr Burstow of the importance of proper assessments otherwise this could lead to mis-diagnosis and wrong treatment.    I said the Government should look very closely at the current system particularly in this regard.  I thought I covered quite a lot, from examples of where care had failed Elizabeth (which I cannot put on my blog) to care in the community and how this is failing so many with acute wards overflowing.  The fact is that  people need more support in some cases where they have been on wards for years on end and not just dumped into the community whilst others become isolated.   He asked why I was against the anti-stigma campaigns so I said that they were not helping my daughter and others who are on sections – the forgotten people.   Mr Burstow said he was attending a meeting with Mr Lamb directly afterwards and I hope they actually do something about this situation as I do not believe anyone should be written off.   I have had some extremely good advice lately from a top expert that I cannot just dismiss and this has made me more determined than ever and I hope that when I go forward with this advice (hopefully the results will be good) I will share this with the world.

Meanwhile I am concerned with Xmas coming up what is going to happen.  Even if Elizabeth is not allowed to see me at Xmas it will be good if she is allowed to see someone in the family – I hope that the rest of the family can bring her down as I will only have two days – Xmas Day and Boxing Day.  Last year we were not allowed to have Elizabeth at Xmas and Xmas was quite a sad occasion.   What can I get for Elizabeth? – she is on a hospital ward and so many things have gone missing –  Elizabeth very much likes music and she would be delighted to know that there are so many musicians/bands that are supporting her via Twitter but she would not be well enough to enjoy a concert because of all the crowds.   Whilst Elizabeth knows I have a blog,  I do not of course show her my outspoken comments regarding what I think of the chemicals she is being prescribed and I have no regrets about these comments – none of the drugs have worked and they are making her go downhill with her physical health.  I am appalled that no one cares about my daughter’s physical health –  just by having blood tests and things like this does not make me feel happy besides I am the last person they would wish to share information with if anything is wrong with Elizabeth’s physical health and the secrecy surrounding the care is something that is not good at all and as I have discussed open dialogue is needed and inclusion rather than exclusion where possible with families should be given.   I cannot wait until Dr Walsh comes over here –  I believe nutrition and diet is very important. 

Elizabeth is not well enough to travel too far – even walking around a very nice shopping centre was too much for her and we had to take her to the cinema instead.  It would be no good me taking her to Central London as Elizabeth would not like the crowds, the escalators/stairs.  There is no way Elizabeth would be well enough in the foreseeable future to return to a normal life in the local area.  It is sad she is missing out on her life –  apparently she asked to go to Finland and that is a country where in a small area called Tornio there is the best care in the world so I heard.  Elizabeth also has happy memories of Finland as she worked out there once. 

It has been over 2 years that Elizabeth has now been in hospital and this is not doing her any good.  I want her released but this is taking so long –  I just cannot understand why things take so long when I could have arranged things in a week..  Elizabeth has asked to come home and I would have her home but this will not be allowed as the team have got it in their heads I will stop the drugs.  

The issues are all around her taking the drugs and the fact they believe I would stop the drugs or persuade her to stop taking them.  How  many times do I have to say I could not even if I wanted to.  I know very well that if a reduction in the drugs was to take place then this would have to be done by experts not me – I am not a doctor.  Besides a leading expert told me it could take at least 4 years.

I said to Mr Burstow that it is a shame there is nowhere where someone can be reduce or come off the drugs safely  even if they are misdiagnosed.  There are people that know the drugs inside out and I am afraid from what I have seen I am not too sure whether someone like a GP or a psychiatrist knows the full workings of the drugs and if there was to be any changes in her treatment I would have to see that my daughter is referred to a bio medical scientist who would knows all about the drugs.  Certainly an expert like this should be involved as there have been cases of suicide when reductions of drugs have been made incorrectly leading to suicide. There would be no chance of this because the outdated law of the UK is all about enforced drugging and CTOs which is another thing I discussed with Mr Burstow – how wrong this all is.  I am obviously against this as I feel this is cruel and abusive and believe that proper facilities should be provided in cases where there is doubt and also that drugs should be a matter of choice for individuals rather than enforced.   I think I had come to Mr Burstow’s attention with my outspoken comments on the Bethlem. – this place my daughter called prison where they were supposed to give a drug free period of assessment which was done completely incorrectly in my opinion.  I would like to see what has been written about me in their files after the way I have been treated. 

One of the main topics of discussion with Mr Burstow was the law itself and how badly this needs to be changed.  This is the most urgent thing of all in my opinion.

I hope that I see such changes as per my discussions, as I can speak for many other mothers who are not being so outspoken but are extremely unhappy too.  I would have liked to bring with my a group of these mothers to meet Mr Burstow but then this meeting would have gone on all day long as there are so many issues to cover and so much wrong with the current system.

I hope these matters will be addressed as a matter of urgency in Parliament and I would like to know what Mr Hunt is going to do as not once has he replied to my emails.  He should be looking at the waste of money to the public as it is costing a fortune to send patients to the private sector for years and years on end because local care has failed.  

All these important issues are being forgotten about in favour of anti-stigma campaigns and it is far more important to provide decent care and proper assessments and sort out the law because when it comes to long drawn out cases this is costing the public money.

I was able to provide evidence and proof of what I was talking about.

I hope I will be asked to go back for a further meeting in order that I can be informed as to what exactly they are going to do about the situation so that I can pass this on to all the other mothers and former patients.  This is an extremely urgent issue and should be dealt with as top priority –  I shall write for an update on this if I hear nothing but I am grateful that someone has cared enough to even meet me.  

“after speaking to my sister on two accounts I was shocked and horrified as to what she told me.

On the first occasion she told me “The doctor told me to request that my mother can only phone me on a Monday at 6pm.” My mother cannot phone at this time and does not phone my sister excessively. In my opinion the doctor is trying to put words in m y sister’s head and considering she is not in the right frame of mind due to being drugged up on so much medication the doctor is manipulating my sister.”

On the second phone call with my sister she had told me “They are trying to get me to speak to m y dad and not my mother” I think they are trying to replace my mother as the nearest kind and getting my dad to take over which is not fair or right.”

When a team gang up against you there is no protection – there is no decent complaints procedure as any complaints amount to nothing. It is a waste of time. The CQC do not get involved in any individual complaints at all. The MH law is outdated back to 2007 and fails to protect the most weak and vulnerable people in society.

Mental health is not something that people are interested in unless it affects themselves and I realise the fact is that no one cares. A mother pointed out to me that many people are abandoned once in a mental health institution but I as a mother do not wish to abandon my daughter – I am horrified at how unfair and cruel the system is that allows this to go on.

I have been accused of missing a tablet of Metformine on a visit home from my daughter. I do not recall missing a tablet and when I told the leading expert today about this he said that it would not have mattered in any case and when a nurse at the hospital said that if you miss a tablet of Clozapine you have to start from scratch – I put this to the leading expert and he said “that’s not true”. I think they are desperately trying to find excuses of saying that I am irresponsible and not capable of giving the drugs so that Elizabeth cannot visit any more.

Last year the consultant psychiatrist refused for Elizabeth to come home at Xmas and she had to spend Xmas in hospital. Elizabeth now wants to move on with her life and is of no risk to society however there is nothing to stop a team from saying otherwise as they are raking in thousands and thousands of taxpayers money under the private sector care. My solicitors had to do them a letter to warn them of abuse of human rights when the discouraged contact with myself. All the time unknown to them Elizabeth was texting me on her own accord. For a while the phone was charging forever in the office and none of the family could get through.

Who cares about mental health – I have to admit most people support things like childrens charities and cancer charities but not everyone under the mental health took drugs in the first place in fact the majority have suffered abuse and that is why it is wrong to drug these people as that is simply not the answer. I thought Elizabeth would get counselling but the counselling consisted on delving into her private life and questioning her about whether I had abused her as a mother.

Elizabeth has come out with worrying things and certainly when a person is surrounded by staff in a prison like environment they can be pressurised into going along with the team.

It is wrong for instance when a team put pressure on and change a legal representative but I have seen this several time before.

It is wrong when advocates do not attend large meetings which are bound to be stressful.

I have friends that their sons cannot face going through a court process because they are too stressed out. Then these people remain stuck in hospital for years not because they are a danger to society but because they become so weakened and some of course have no family members to defend them like I am doing for Elizabeth.

I know that the team would never agree to Elizabeth coming home to live with me but if she did then I would employ a nurse to live in – surely that would satisfy the team who only care about drugging of my daughter. If a nurse was to give the drugs then surely that would be good enough. Well the other thing I would do for Elizabeth is to employ a nutritionist. I believe the supplements have suddenly turned up but no one said anything. These will be needed when Dr Walsh comes over and I must make sure I get these back. I would look at a healthy diet and get the advice from top professionals. The trouble is that on a day to day basis Elizabeth would need activities to occupy herself with and this is where the care in the community let her down so badly.

Today I spoke to a leading expert who knows the drugs inside out and is extremely knowledgeable about the law and the whole system.

I had to admit I did not like to hear the truth – the truth is that no one cares – this has been going on for 50 years – the law is outdated and even when it was changed it was changed for the worse. Until the law is changed there is no hope.

I see my post “Message for the Team” has gained viewings and I just want them to know how heartbroken I am as a mother by the way I have been treated in light of the most terrible care, too shocking to put on this site and I wish them to know that the whole family would like to see Elizabeth out in the community. We have offered to have her home but we know that you as a team will not consider this and it would appear that all you want to do is to destroy my family.

I hope by this blog that the world can see how badly an outdated system needs to be changed and I don’t know why I have been invited to Westminster as I am just a mother who feels like nothing but I cling to hope in that someone will voice my concerns about the LAW and how badly that needs to be changed and how the current system is failing.

Elizabeth asked about her cat today – she misses her cat and she misses home and it awaits to be seen if we will be allowed to see her over the Xmas period. The team tried to make out Elizabeth comes back anxious and unsettled. Perhaps she is unsettled because the home is peaceful unlike a ward with alarm bells ringing all the time. The family are concerned that Elizabeth will end up going really downhill if left longer in this hospital.

I hear as well there is extensive bullying going on in the world of psychiatry more so than anywhere else. I have experienced bullying myself by the teams and a complaint gets you nowhere.

I have been to Westminster many times.  I used to work there and on Monday I am going there again. 

I decided to go home via the area where I used to work tonight in Westminster.   It looks lovely at night and this area brings back many memories.  

I remember taking Elizabeth and her sister to this area as a child. 

I remember the Royal Wedding and how much Elizabeth wanted to go but I was worried about her being amongst the large crowds.  We watched the Royal Wedding together on TV and then I took Elizabeth with me when things had quietened down.  Unfortunately Elizabeth was not very well at all and I had to get help at a station as Elizabeth is afraid of escalators and anything up high.   Now she has further deteriorated as even a small set of stairs causes Elizabeth to have a panic attack.  This is why I do not think she would be happy in an area like London any more – at least not in the immediate future.

On another occasion I called in to the Houses of Parliament with Elizabeth in the hope of seeing someone to discuss what could be done to improve the shocking care.  I was even more shocked that no one wanted to speak to me and as my local MP could not help me I wanted to see someone higher up.  I was so appalled that no one cared less and I decided I was going nowhere until someone did see me.  To my delight I was seen by Shadow Health Minister’s assistant.  If your local MP cannot help you then I believe you should be able to call in and see someone else.    What I really wanted was for things to be discussed and these discussions put into effect so that improvements could be made to the shocking care system.  

I have a meeting on Monday – a very important meeting in Westminster and I am so happy that someone cares –  I wished I could bring some of the other mothers along although there would be too many to accommodate in just one single meeting.

I phoned Elizabeth the other day –  I could barely hear her speak.  Alarms were going off in the background and Elizabeth said “this happens all the time here”.   This strengthen’s my opinion that this is highly unsuitable and that a more suitable place would be a lovely farm where there are animals and peace and quiet.    A therapeutic community would have things going on every day for instance.  At home I would have to employ someone to help me if I was to continue working.  At home there would be nothing to do from day to day for Elizabeth.  She is not well enough to get a job –  some people wrongly think it is laziness but no one can possibly know what it feels like to be on a huge dosage of mind altering chemicals.  I believe it is not the taxpayer who should be billed as regards benefits I believe that the pharmaceutical industry should have a responsibility when the drugs cause adverse side effects and disability.  They are the ones who should pay for the welfare of the likes of my daughter and others affects – not the taxpayer.  There should be a system in place to ensure that the pharmaceutical industry have a duty of responsibility if their drugs cause injury or disablement but it is impossible to find solicitors to represent you in such cases.

I can only hope that soon Elizabeth will move forward with her life in a positive way.  “I’m going to follow in your footsteps, Mum” – these are the latest comments said by my daughter –  well I would say to these comments that I would hope she will excel with success one day and progress just like someone else in my family who was wrongly labelled.

Is this why they don’t want me to see any more files –  perhaps they have found a label or labels for me –  there are so many to choose from in the DSM.

I will take along my leaflets and the book by Dr Walsh when I go to this important meeting.

Once under their, contact with families can be discouraged – certainly this has been the case. I did not have a blog in the first instance-  I was not being outspoken to any real extent like now and that is out of overwhelming despair.

Tonight I have been shopping in the wonderful Westfield Centre – not the one in Stratford but the one in Shepherds Bush with a beautiful ice rink.  This reminded me of Elizabeth when I took both girls ice skating at the O2 Centre in London and on another occasion when I tool Elizabeth to a local ice rink but she needed help in going around and I asked a member of staff to take her.  She looked so happy but prior to this Elizabeth was not at all well and it was a weekend –  I would always spend time with Elizabeth at the weekends and would have to consider where I took her.  She did not like crowds so it had to be somewhere peaceful but on the other hand she liked ice skating and looked very happy.  At one time she would have liked the shopping centre and beautiful light display.

Xmas is not far off now and last time we were deprived having Elizabeth at Xmas –  she was escorted by 2 nurses who left her alone with the rest of the family but did not leave her side when she came to me.  I knew what to expect and knew I was not being treated the same way as the rest of the family so was not surprised by this at all but if it was true Elizabeth was not well enough to spend time with her family at Xmas I thought it was bad that she was travelling for so many hours in a car only to spend a short time with the family before being driven back flanked by two nurses.  I did a party for her inviting close friends who had known her as a little girl –  you can imagine what they all thought. 

Elizabeth not only would like to come home but would like to be with her family at Xmas.  It is sad what is happening right now and how this is allowed to go on.  This is private sector care for you.

I am more than pleased you are following me.  I am pleased you are reading my blog and are taking such an interest.  I wish to share with you my weekend in that case.

I very much look forward to the weekends even though I spend most of my time catching up on housework and usual chores but this weekend I had something different to look forward to.

Sandra Breakspeare was down from Cornwall and I thoroughly admire a lady who fights for her son and never ever gives up.  So many mothers give up. I am like Sandra very much I see hope – I see hope of change especially that Mr Lamb is taking notice.  Mr lamb is interested so it would seem via Twitter about physical health which is something that tends to be overlooked.  

I have found out today my daughter’s drugs – Clozapine has been raised by 50mg.    She is now on 850mg.  Here is what the rest of the family have to say.

None of us are happy.  None of us feel my daughter is safe within your “care”.

To the doctor concerned – you have only spoken to me on one occasion and formed an opinion based on another hospital’s views written in the files.  You have never ever met with me face to face.  You have taken a dislike towards me because I do not agree with you.  That does not mean to say I do not respect all psychiatrists.  I am in touch with many who have been in the profession for years on end some of whom you have never heard of.

Here’s what I think –  you are not thinking about my daughter’s physical health – you are only concerned with drugging and I am proven right by the fact you have raised the drug Clozapine by 50mg.

Why?  You do not consult with the family or have once ever tried to communicate with me personally.  Well here is your chance to communicate personally let us be open and honest.  I can take criticism so lets hear from you.

Sir James Munby QC wants everything to be open and honest and I very much admire him for this.  I too feel the same.

The family feel that my daughter is not being treated fairly.  Much money is being made at taxpayer’s expense.  How much is being made exactly?

I feel comfort that I am not alone – it is not just me suffering and as a leading expert and lawyer I am in touch with points out with words to this effect –  mental health law can easily be usurped.   Yes!  it is easy to play on capacity and confidentiality.  It is easy to overlook someone vulnerable.  It is easy to criticise the mother and family and easy to dismiss what has happened to my daughter and the lack of care and what about the knowledge of the drugs and the working of the drugs themselves.   Well I am just a mother and cannot answer the questions on what effects a drugs has. Without a doctor being present how can I explain however I do have someone who cares very much and is extremely knowledgeable and it is not just my daughter I am being outspoken for either.   I feel sorry for those who have no one.

I want every single mother and father who has distanced themselves from their sons/daughters to take another look. 

When I went onto the ward locally some patients spoke to me openly about their problems  and some had been abused.  The answer is always drugs.  That is wrong – they don’t work.  Even some very honest psychiatrists notice this.  They do not work for everyone.  Unless you address the underlying problem with intensive trauma therapy then that person should not be straight away put on drugs you cannot easily come off. 

I wish to add that if someone suffers from diabetes they are IMMEDIATELY taken off the drugs.   I now wish to question why it takes so long is someone is having say heart problems or other serious side effects.  Why are professionals dismissing the physical health of patients and taking the easy route of drugging and persuading patients and families this is the right way. 

I have already posted an interesting  piece by a leading expert who I will not name on my blog out of respect but by the way he does not care in being identified so I am delighted by this advice as I am nothing on my own – I am just a mother.   I am treated less than this by the entire team would wish I disappear from the face of the earth.  Speaking of which I had in addition to the mother/fathers’s meeting nice day out with Elizabeth.  Elizabeth is losing confidence on the ward rapidly.  The whole family feel she is deteriorating.  The whole family are unhappy yet I know as a mother if Elizabeth was in the right company she could excel.   I wish to buy Elizabeth her own home.  I wish to buy her a business – she was talented at floristry.  She wants to work.  She is not lazy but if the consultant psychiatrist is allowed to carry on increasing, increasing and adding to the drugs given as and when required for instance in terms of Lorapepam which is highly addictively  then I am afraid I could lose my daughter.  I now want a full investigation.  Things are dragging on and I am so pleased I have interest at high level in Westminster.   I praise God for this.  The rest of the family feel their comments at a meeting today were ignored and dismissed and the whole matter is soul destroying to the family.  I thought a team should work with the family but this has not once been the case as far as I am concerned.

Why should they care.  At the Bethlem it was all about Clozapine – “you should have done your research”.  Under private sector care it is all about money and how much do they get per week out of taxpayer’s pockets.   

Whilst the NHS care failed there were good things about the NHS I liked.  The A&E that helped my father who had Alzheimers.  The nurses on the ward where he had a heart attack and this no doubt was due to him being on anti-psychotics.  There were good things about the NHS but the mental health was no good.  The wards were a cubicle and noisy.  I cried when Elizabeth was in that place. 

Now Elizabeth is 26 –  I want her home – she is stable and if I had her home I could not work any more.  I would have no money to pay the bills. 

Elizabeth who was once working, once learning to drive, once studying is a shadow of her former self. 

She clung to us when we took her out because she feels dizzy a lot of the time and just like when she was on Aripraprazole (Abilify) she felt ill after eating.  I thought she was gong to be ill at the table whilst we were eating and whilst she was at the cinema.  She has to have a sleep in the afternoons.  She is more stressed out and more prone to anxiety and panic attacks than ever ever before.  If Elizabeth remains much longer under this hospital I am not sure she will survive.  

What I don’t like is the way they dismiss you like you are nothing.  This is not what I ever envisaged.

A while back there was a problem.  I thought there was Norrovirus on  the ward  –  I only got to find out by chance.  Just like everything –  I remember several incidents – serious that have involve police and I got to find out about them.  Not once have I ever received an apology.

So, on this case I got to find out – it was either Norovirus of food poisoning.  Perhaps someone in the team can enlighten me.  I have an interest here –  I have a daughter on your ward – how would you feel as a mother –  well how would feel?

I want my daughter to be in a natural environment like a farm.  Elizabeth has been delighted with the chickens on the ward.  Elizabeth likes cats and animals.  Elizabeth is artistic and was good at floristy and came out like a different person when she took part in classes that the consultant psychiatrist di not agree with. Even he then had to admit Elizabeth did well and staff wanted to buy her items.

WHY HAVE YOU LET MY DAUGHTER GO DOWNHILL –  WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH YOU HAVE GANGED UP.  YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH DAMAGE YOU ARE CAUSING TO MY FAMILY. 

Anyway I have to get up early tomorrow and have had a long drive back from Wales.    

I don’t know where to start with the thanks from complete strangers who have suffered themselves mainly the patients who I meet with regularly –  the mothers who are likewise suffering.  I thank you all and to those I have not met.

I hope Elizabeth will be a Survivor one day –  please God please let that be the case as not one professional cares about my daughter’s physical health at all.

Elizabeth’s sister has just got back from visiting and they had a nice time together in the beautiful peaceful setting of a farm.  This is the kind of place Elizabeth needs to be whereas I live in London and whilst I would have Elizabeth home she now seems to suffer more panic attacks than I have ever noticed before.  Elizabeth’s sister took her out shopping and for meals but it was a flying visit.

I have been busy at the last minute clearing my house for builders –  I am in such a mess now with boxes everywhere and I have managed to sort this out.  Tomorrow I am very excited at meeting up with mothers who are in the same position as myself and some have had to  make a long journey to London whereas the venue for this meeting is easy for me to get to.  I offered to have mothers to stay overnight even though I am in a mess with the decorating as this is just an informal meeting but I hope this will lead to a Facebook Page with links to Twitter so that all the mothers can write and talk about what is really needed in terms of care.    Mothers like myself who have sons/daughters sectioned for years on end who are written off like rubbish and drugged.  What kind of law allows this.  This is why we need a specialist centre to carry out proper assessments and offer humane care.  I am disgusted that in a so called civilised country this sort of thing is allowed to go on.  I have  not got a good word to say about the law that allows for this abuse.  I hope to address all these issues soon in a very important meeting on my next day off.

One of the mothers owns a restaurant and that is where we are meeting to discuss a unique care that is not on offer in the UK – however having said that I did look at one centre that looked extremely nice but was about £1000 a day!  The location of Central London would not suit Elizabeth and therefore I am happy for my daughter to make a fresh life in a more peaceful area just so long as the care is right.  The care is wrong right now as it is a hospital acute ward under private sector care yet the law in Wales I thought allowed for holistic care. If contra indicated drugs are continually pushed at my daughter at 800mg a day this is not a good situation but there is nothing I can do right now however that does not stop me from questioning things.

When I could see that NONE of the fourteen mind altering LSD like chemicals did not work and when I spotted in the files about 5 different diagnoses, the two main ones being Schizophrenia and Aspergers I started to question everything.    I started to buy books and these books have been very informative.   Out of a bad situation comes a positive situation – I would never have met so many wonderful people – strangers who have stepped in to help me like SOAP for instance and mothers who have written to me via my website and some have passed on invaluable advice. 

Some professionals have even stepped in to give me advice –  these professionals are lawyers, doctors,  scientists. 

The public are being misinformed about many things and it is only when you are in a situation like mine that you really look into matters but whilst many people may not wish to even think about mental health as it does not affect them they should be concerned about the public money being wasted and A&Es being closed down and I believe huge savings could be made if the mental health system was properly looked at.

There would be n o need to force drug someone or keep someone locked away forever if scientists were involved in relation to the drugs.  For instance a scientist would have experience and understanding in adverse reactions in psycho-pharmaceutical medications as well as interactions with drugs in general medicine.  Well not one psychiatrist has been concerned about this and I as a mother could see that the behaviour of my daughter was nothing to do with her diagnosis.  The behaviour was caused by the drugs – she really suffered on these drugs especially on 750 – 800mg of Quetiapine.  That is a large dose and in the end I saw the effects this drug was having on my daughter.  Not many people are questioning what knowledge do psychiatrists  have of the workings of these drugs.  Some may have knowledge but many do  not and even I as a mother could see that.

I am in touch with more than one leading expert right now who tell me faulty drug withdrawals carried out by psychiatrists who know absolutely nothing about pharmacokinetics or dynamics.  Not only this – Doctors who prescribe without testing for tolerance, contraindications, concomitant prescribing or drug metabolites.  Apparently I am astounded that there are many like this around.  What is the Government doing about this situation.  It is all well and good to impose CTOs and never ending sections costing as much as several thousand pounds to the taxpayer a week when NHS care fails and private hospital care takes over.  However it is no wonder the care is failing when so many professionals do not know the workings of the drugs.  It is like myself as a mother prescribing drugs.  Social services even tried to step in desperately to push Clozapine at my daughter.  What on earth do they know about the workings of the drugs and now I am hearing that psychiatrists do not know and as Doctor Tracy said some are on the drugs themselves –  well I would not be surprised to hear this at all judging by some of the behaviour I have seen.

If for instance someone is being reduced off the drugs the professional should know about the half lives of them and suggested rate of reduction and effects on any other medication.  This is very worrying.  What regulations are in place to ensure that patients are being looked after properly by psychiatrists if they do not know thoroughly about how the drugs work.   If a reduction is not done properly then this can lead to relapse and severe reactions and from what I have heard from other people this is commonplace.  I as a mother would insist on having a bio medical scientist involved who can demonstrate extensive knowledge of the drugs. 

I noticed at the Bethlem they present a sheet of paper telling a little about the drugs being prescribed however I have much more knowledge to share with them and the psychiatrist was extremely dismissive.  He even said that he had enough reading to do. 

It is no wonder there is so m any problems as patients are not being treated properly and the law should regulate who prescribes the drugs and the way the drugs are prescribed and proper extensive tests should be carried out for tolerance and contraindications, concomitant prescribing /drug metabolites. 

It is not good enough what is going on in the UK and I want something done about it.

I have been recommended to buy the book by Grace Jackson.

I think it is wrong that anyone should dismiss evidence in terms of adverse reactions and if an expert does a report that may make recommendations in terms of treatment and care in no way should this be dismissed under the law.

I will be going to see Elizabeth soon.  When we took her out last time she could not get out of the car and then it took two of us to support Elizabeth walking down the road as she felt dizzy.  Elizabeth is in bed by 8pm –  she is only 26 and should be out enjoying her life.  How can Elizabeth get a job – what is going to happen when she is released from hospital and is unfit and unwell to go down and fill out forms and advise the job centres.  However if there was decent care like Chy Sawel set up there is hope for my daughter and hope for some of the former patients who are doing well for themselves.  These people I would so like to be able to help my daughter not just professionals but inclusion of some of the former patients themselves and open dialogue. 

I hope Elizabeth  gets out of hospital soon and that there will be a team involved who communicate and do not not try and sever contact with her family just because they do not like me as a mother.  None of this would be happening if it was not for the law that needs complete change in my opinion.

I do not phone Elizabeth every day.  I do not advise Elizabeth to stop taking the drugs yet that is what I have been accused of doing but what if everything is wrong and professionals just wish to plod on giving the same treatment all the time.     It is especially sad if you have written proof by an expert of what is wrong and this is ignored.

I will write about the mothers meeting tomorrow- it is shocking that so many are affected and this makes me all the more determined to see Chy Sawel set up. 

I have had a nice weekend up until now.  

Met up with the former patients group yesterday and for the most part today have been busy sorting things out at home

We will be visiting Elizabeth next week – her sister hoping to go down during the week separately. 

I have not spoken much to Elizabeth this week and have received text messages with just one word “Hi” – today a member of staff said she was adamant she did not want to speak to me but I have  had two text messages today with the word “Hi”  – I don’t know what to think as not so long ago my daughter was being deterred from contact with me especially.  My solicitors had to do a letter reminding them of my daughter’s human rights.  It is wrong a hospital takes a phone away from a patient –  it is wrong a hospital deprives a patient from contacting their family but this is what has been going on in my case and has affected others in the family.  I am not sure now what to think about tonight when I have had two text messages and a message from a member of staff she did not want to speak to me.     This comes at a time when decisions will be made about the future of Elizabeth.

I sent her a text to say that I would be done next week and so would her sister separately.  I also wanted her to know that I had a surprise contact with what was once her best friend.  I needed to know if she still wanted to come and stay in the lovely farmhouse that we have booked and that her sister would wish to book there as well.   

All I can hope for is that everything is OK and that maybe Elizabeth will be allowed to come and stay with the family at Xmas unlike last year when she was not allowed to see the family over Xmas at all. 

I have sent a text message to Elizabeth as I could not speak to her tonight.