I had a great time last night at a concert in Hyde park where myself and a work colleague attended. I could temporarily forget my problems which was a good thing. On a beautiful evening Hyde Park was full up and I felt sorry for Elton John who due to illness was unable to perform at this event. We saw Elvis Costello who was good and after this we noticed another smaller stage and lively performance which culminated in a steel band and wonderful carnival atmosphere with wonderful costumes you would see at Notting Hill Carnival – I could not believe I was in London as all I see every day in miserable faces on the tube and I certainly do not see such a happy atmosphere on a daily basis. We then briefly saw Ray Davies/The Kinks before leaving but unfortunately the signposting was not very good and myself and my colleague got quick a shock when we wandered right into the Gents open air toilet – we were shown the way out by security but they need to do something about their sign posting that is for sure but that was my only complaint! Elizabeth once would have enjoyed such an event but now it would not be possible for her to go as she would suffer a panic attack with the crowds present – it would be too much for her to enjoy yet the one thing she does enjoy is music – what a shame she is missing out on so much of her life – she has even commented these words to me “I feel I am missing out on my life, Mum”. “All I have is my music”. Elizabeth’s music may not be to my taste any more and her favourite type of music is more rock music but she would have enjoyed the carnival – in fact the whole event before she became so very ill and there was so much choice of food you could buy there but we had gone to a restaurant beforehand and could not face any more food.

Today I am going to a friend’s house for a Barbeque. The friends have known Elizabeth for a long time and she once babysat for their younger son. Unfortunately now Elizabeth could never do such a thing but she have always loved children and animals. It is hard as a mother to think that it is unlikely she could ever be a mother herself on all these drugs – Elizabeth was once living a normal life before being put on 14 mind altering drugs and given so many different labels.

Anyway, the barbeque does not start until later so that has given me time to catch up on all the housework which I have done and to visit the old lady who I used to look after. The old lady lives at the top of a block of flats and does not have her family around her to care for her. I was doing a lot for her at one time tying in shopping and housework which I did voluntarily amongst looking after my father who had Alzheimers and my younger daughter who had been sectioned with Schizophrenia (but who is now on top of the world). So today I will visit with a sample of linos which I promised some time back to bring her to look at in order to replace her carpet. The old lady does not want to move and now has carers that go in on a daily basis but she sleeps in her chair night and day despite a bed but the bed is not being used as the old lady likes to go to bed late and no carers are around to put her to bed at midnight or so. There is little I can do myself as I work full time and am swamped with my own problems but this weekend I shall take some dinner.

It is good that a date for the Tribunal has been finally set after all this time. I have decided to get the whole team together and copy in everyone in emails so that everyone knows what is going on including my solicitor as I feel there has been a lack in communication in the past. I have done this to the social workers (2 of them). Suddenly it appears that one social worker does not want to be connected to the case any more or has been replaced. I must find out who the new second social worker is. The email I received just as I was leaving work was that please do not copy me in. It is a reasonable request as I have been trying to find out the details of the CPA that Elizabeth specially told me she wants me to attend.

The Consultant Psychiatrist at Cambian is unavailable for the alternative date of the Tribunal which I had hoped to tie in with the CPA but never mind I will have to go down twice if need me or else perhaps Head Office (Mr Asaria – CEO) can help me. If I have written 3 times asking for information and have received none then I feel that Head Office should be helping me and it is certainly convenient for me to call in any time as they are down the road. Apparently I just missed Mr Asaria – his secretary tried to say he was out but the receptionist said I had just missed him – all I wanted was an appointment to see Mr Asaria that would not have taken more than 15 minutes of his time. Now I have more serious issues. The National Psychosis Unit have just written to me to say that they packed the supplements. Cambian have found the oils but where are the supplements? At one time Cambian was short of the fish oil capsules – luckily since the Bethlem did not return my invoice I have a copy. I not only want the supplements replaced but the mauve blanket.

If the consultant psychiatrist is worried about me coming on the ward then at least she should be honest and say exactly so to my face instead of trying to make out my daughter does not wish for me to attend the meetings then the consultant psychiatrist should pick up the phone like the last one did and communicate directly with me to iron out any fears she may have. The team keep trying to involve Elizabeth making out she is on their side and even if she says things she is being forced to go along with what they want. Elizabeth is not happy to be on a section and I as the Nearest Relative can call the Tribunal to overturn this.

I have a good ideasince this crucial CPA meeting before the Tribunal should have my involvement as the Nearest Relative, Head Office could set up a video link to the ward in Wales so that I can attend Head Office instead. I think this is a great idea and would save me from having to book hotels on two occasions however it is only right that I should be allowed an advocate as a witness.

Anyway I shall contact them all next week copying in everyone and will need to have in writing from Cambian that they have or have not seen the supplements which cost £130 – I have been honest about this – I could have charged double for these supplements but the rest of the supplements are at home. If neither hospitals are prepared to accept liability then I need to take this up with Mr Lamb. It may not be much money but it is the principle that counts.

Anyway I have a journey to make today to a beautiful area near the sea and I am going to enjoy myself. There is nothing I can do at present to sort out this situation so there is no point in worrying about for the time being.

I am waiting to hear from Mr Lamb ‘s Office right now as I have mentioned about the therapeutic communities that are needed and wish for help in setting up Chy Sawel. I even made a call to someone listed on the business network in Wales to see if they could help me.

I am waiting to hear from the Daily Mail and hope those photos are good! I have been told I cannot choose them – I would also like to see their article. I am sure this is all very good and as I have said before I am delighted that a leading newspaper like this has taken an interest.

I will now telephone Elizabeth to see how she is.

A date for the Tribunal has been virtually set and I have had to fit in with the team of Cambian as the Consultant Psychiatrist seemed unkeen to accommodate my younger daughter’s request but we have had to work round this as a family and the entire family want to be there for this occasion to support Elizabeth. Three times now I have heard nothing – no response to my emails from Cambian in Wales and this has led me to finding out the email address of the other social worker (my daughter has 2) and I understand these social workers attend such meetings on occasions but never once has anyone invited me. Well Elizabeth has said openly that she wants me to attend the CPA meeting and I have written three times now. Bearing in mind the convenient location of Cambian’s Head Office I am not too worried about the wall of silence as I can pop down there every day if necessary. Even though I am far from happy with the goings on at Cambian and social services it is not my intention just to go down there to complain – I want to meet the Chief Executive Officer and all the staff. If the consultant psychiatrist has a problem with me attending the CPA – it may be because she is afraid of me (don’t know why when I just want to sort things out openly and honestly) – it may be that she just does not like me at all and certainly has come out with some choice words which have got back to me. I understand she has also used a not so complimentary word to describe Dr Ann Blake Tracy who has given me huge advice. Anyway I am more concerned that she has tried to influence my daughter against me as Nearest Relative – I think this is terrible and she has gone beyond her duties as a doctor to do this. She has referred to my “past behaviour” and I would like to know more about these comments as this could have been derived from the previous hospital The Bethlem. If there are things written about me then I have a right to know about them. I do not care if the comments are totally uncomplimentary – I would rather this than secrecy any day as I respect honesty. I do not feel I have had honesty with the team at Cambian or the Bethlem but I cannot comment on Head Office. They may be oblivious to these problems going on and all I want to do is to try and sort things out as the Nearest Relative.

So I have the email address of Mr Asaria, CEO. I wrote and requested an appointment when I heard nothing once again from Cambian in Wales. I was told by his PA he was out and could not see me but I was in the area of Fulham Reach and decided to call in to their plush offices today in my lunch hour. All I wanted was to make an appointment but his PA did not even bother to come down or bother to speak to me on the telephone. I would never be dismissive like this in such a position. I did not expect to see Mr Asaria as she said he was out however the receptionist told me had just missed him – what a shame as I would have liked to have introduced myself to him. I did get a response from the social worker – one of them “you are welcome!” in response to my email stating thanks for passing on the email address of the other social worker. I explained that now I was in touch with everyone there would be less likelihood of such shocking communication errors occurring again such as when the Tribunal was arranged and everyone knew – the entire team except for me. I am keen to rectify such errors so that they do not happen again through lack of communication. Now I am in touch with Mr Asaria’s office I am waiting for a date and time in order to meet with him and I have suggested after work. I will give them a day to decide on this before contacting them again and a further visit to their office. In fact I found it an extremely pleasant walk and once again my thoughts turned to Elizabeth and how much she would have liked it there where they are building luxury flats – you do not think you are in the heart of London – whoever decided on that as a location for Cambian’s Office – I commend them.

Anyway, I am happy a date has been set but am waiting for Cambian to let me know the details of the CPA – I have not once been invited to such a CPA and if they really don’t want me there then Cambian at Head office should do like a video link to include me in the CPA – as Nearest Relative it is important that I know what is going on as this will be discussions about the section and where my daughter will be placed and so they would concern me. The entire family are very concerned about Elizabeth right now and do not feel she is getting any better – in a hospital environment – it is not good – if she was in the therapeutic community I feel this would be great which is supposed to give more one to one care but in a hospital such as Cambian it is strict control – Elizabeth is not allowed out to go to the shops on her own even – it is even stricter than Prison and what on earth is my daughter doing on such a prison sentence when it is not her fault. She has been described as “a victim of the pharmaceutical industry” – she has been used as a human guinea pig and her behaviour in the past was caused by the drugs and not her so called conditions of which she has several. I only had to look at her eyes, completely dilated and her moods would vary whilst on the drugs. I have seen the effects of psychosis and watched the suffering of my daughter. Noone will ever take responsibility for their mistakes and it is far easier to carry on with more of the same treatment not thinking about what can be done to improve things and give humane care as opposed to the current “care” of enforced drugging and CTOs. I am in touch patients who are off the drugs now but have suffered extensively and have long term health problems as a result. I would describe the current system as cruel, abusive, wicked and evil -against human rights.

I am campaigning for better mental health care and think that therapeutic communities could provide the answer with peer support and a look at decent nutrition and diet according to the assessments by Dr William Walsh and with the correct help a patient can be then on the minimal rather than maximum drugs. This would be a better solution that keeping someone on an extremely high dosage, shortening their lives by 20 yrs or more and causing long term health problems.

Elizabeth has ballooned in weight, She is stooping and looks disabled now. She suffers panic attacks – the whole family who were once in favour of the professionals and their “care” are now concerned because of what they quite rightly see as decline. What is not provided is a decent carers allowance that allows people to survive but even then it may not be the best option for someone to live at home. Elizabeth needs to have support outside the family but try finding anywhere decent and a hospital is not decent in terms of getting better. The same patients return time and time again to the wards as I have seen but I want Elizabeth never to return to the wards. I want her to be free – I want her to have one to one support for a while and I think it quite right that this should be provided as the care has failed her and made her disabled. There is no way she should be kept in a hospital for years on end at huge expense to the public – this is why it is important that there is communication.

People may say that perhaps I am the one causing the lack of communication – in answer to this I would point out I was originally overjoyed she was sent to Cambian as she was most disturbed at the Bethlem. The only thing is the distance and we do not see much of her but I did not bargain for the way I have been treated by the team and have been made to feel like a criminal. I am not alone with this bullying in mind and that is why I have decided to document it – Other mothers who have been quiet are still treated like dirt.

The answer is not to be quiet but speak out about this if things are ever to improve and I want to meet Mr Asaria as soon as possible. I want to show him the book by Dr Walsh especially bearing in mind the new law in Wales which my daughter is being deprived of ie holistic care. Mr Asaria should send doctors to the new Chy Sawel Conference as Dr Walsh is looking for 20 to train up. In fact he himself should go to this wonderful event.

Once again though I would point out as I have done on numerous occasions to the team that I am just a mother who would not attempt to take my daughter off the drugs and feel this should be done in the right environment under a professional doctor – I am not qualified to do this and neither would I encourage her to stop taking them – sadly she could die if she stopped taking these highly dangerous drugs and Clozapine is the third most dangerous drug apparently. Having said all of this there should be such facilities provided. Choice should be given – for instance some patients who may be under-methylated get on with the drugs whereas others do not. Such problems would not arise if Dr Walsh was to do the assessments and this is why I have turned to him – I was most impressed by his research – what has Elizabeth got to lose when an expert looks at nutritioln and correct diet. There is not one facility in the whole of the UK that helps someone come off the drugs if they are having adverse reactions and this is a disgrace – what if errors have been made for instance when someone is multiply diagnosed – Dr Tracy could help with her advice there. That is what makes the care cruel and inhumane as many people have been pushed these drugs and not told the risks from the very beginning then they are told they have to be on them for the rest of their lives. Like any drugs, withdrawal has to be done very slowly and gradually however the Bethlem did it by 150mg and mixed with another drug leading to the section and this is why everything is so very unfair and cruel.

I do not intend to sit back and do nothing and I think a hospital who have won Best Care Provider 2012 as well as 2013 should at least get back to me but they are ignoring my calls and dismissing me and the more they do this, the more it will look bad on them as far as I am concerned and the more visits they will get from me that is for sure.

The photographer from the Daily Mail came to see me today and took photos in the garden – it has been beautiful weather all day long. I am thrilled that a leading newspaper such as this has taken interest but would have liked even more included in the proposed article. There are many people I know who would love to speak to the Daily Mail themselves about the abuse they have encountered both patients and carers themselves.

Now I am not alone in the house and have been interrupted several times as I had to quickly tidy up the house before this photographer arrived. I have been accused of losing the remote control, papers and various other items and my thoughts are that these things should not have been left lying around by other people in the first place. I refuse to look for another item that may be missing from now on.

I hope these photos are good and that the photographer takes into account my request – unfortunately I do not get a choice of which photo is going to be used.

Anyway after that took place I then decided to phone Elizabeth. I was disappointed to hear that Elizabeth has not been out all day. On a day like this she is on the ward!

This enforces my belief that Elizabeth should be out in the fresh air and certainly not in rigid and strictly controlled environment such as Cambian. I thought there was patient involvement but they do not even involve carers let alone patients. Anyway this is wrong and something should be done about it.

I have written twice to ask when the CPA is and have not had any replies. It would be good for this to be arranged in line with the Tribunal. The whole family want to come down for the Tribunal to support Elizabeth. I have heard Cambian like to keep people a long time and 3 yrs is far too long especially when Elizabeth is starting to lose confidence however finding the right place in the environment is crucial but how can the family present their ideas and thoughts when the team have excluded everyone.

I have said to Mr Lamb at the Institute of Psychiatry that the failure of care at local level has led to this move miles away from home but I apparently am not alone. I know of other mothers who are faced with this situation and are deeply unhappy about it. Mr Lamb mentioned had I not discussed this with my local MP however this system is not working either. If a local MP says he cannot help you then you have to go to a higher level. I have found out that the complaints procedure is not effective – nothing has been achieved except when it was under Healthcare Commission and referring to the Chief Executives claims of Excellent Care – they had to respond to me in a nicer manner but how on earth did the Healthcare Commission come up with “satisfactory” instead of Excellent. Well I would not rate it satisfactory at all especially when I had approached out of interest two firms of solicitors who stated negligence and I have the letters to prove this.

Anyway you cannot rely on awards or ratings so it would appear and one case I cannot even talk about.

It would seem that staff stick together protecting one another when things go wrong that is for sure.

Despite my dissatisfaction in the care both healthcare and in the community, I have come across some good members of staff. They are mainly junior members of staff like nurses – an outstanding nurse was the one who came out running in the Bethlem Hospital for instance and the keyworker at her scheme in the community but she left unfortunately. I also came across an outstanding member of staff at a group Elizbeth was sent to – this member of staff could see something was wrong and acted accordingly. I cannot go into details but there has been so many things that have gone wrong for me to be resorting to this blog. You never get an apology and if you complain this is not dealt with properly. My biggest complaint is that Elizabeth should never have been put on drug after drug after mind altering drug to the tune of 14. No way should a social worker push drugs such as Clozapine – I think the system is rotten to the core and needs changing. There are lots of organisations out there who are doing good work however the law is rotten and until this is changed then some certain staff like psychiatrists can use the law to their own ends, playing on capacity, confidentiality, exclusion of families, chemical brainwashing. This is what is going on – the Tribunal arranged with the entire team going except for me the nearest relative. Then I am told by a member of staff from Cambian the date cannot be changed and I said Oh yet it can and got straight on to my solicitors. I clearly need a mediator in this and have found someone who is excellent. I have not had a carers assessment and miss out on everything going for carers at the local carers centre as I work. However the one thing I need is a mediator and if I have to pay for this myself then I will.

Tomorrow I am planning to do a barbecue – if the weather stays nice like this then it will be ideal. Elizabeth told me last of all that she missed me and fluffy the cat. It is too far to take him to see her at Cambian = I will never forget how cruel the staff were at the Bethlem how she was not even allowed downstairs for 5 minutes on a beautiful sunny day. However I would like to take Elizabeth to their fete as this was the only time I have seen a happy environment there at this hospital. Maybe that can be arranged and also Elizabeth wanted to come with me to the Institute of Psychiatry. I had such a great time there and would recommend this to everyone – the whole event was organised brilliantly and the person who did this gets my highest vote. I have just heard from Eleanor Longden and I liked so much what she said – a condition rather than an illness! I fully agree with this. I also liked the speech of Frank Bruno.

Unfortunately Professor Shitij Kapur had disappeared as I wanted to give him a copy of my leaflet and tell him of the wonderful plans of Dr Walsh to train up 20 doctors. I thought he may be able to help in this respect and I intend to write directly to him. I am sure I will bump into him again at one of the wonderful AGMs – I must find out more about Cambian and when they propose to hold their AGM but the best one I have been to so far has been North West Central London NHS as my dream was fulfilled in holding the Olympic Torch and this was another well organised event. I took some shocking pictures as an example to show what damage had been done in both cases of my daughters with the drugs and how they do not work for everyone and the book of Dr Walsh explains this. I cannot wait to see Dr Walsh over here and he should be invited to the IOP – something should be done as a matter of urgency for people like my daughter stuck in hospital, left to lose their confidence and become institutionalised. There is no way on earth I want to see my daughter spend the rest of her life in hospital in such a controlled environment – neither do the rest of the family. AS long as Elizabeth has the right level of support nothing can go wrong.

I went along to this event and thought it was very good. There were many outstanding speeches and a good turnout. I thought Frank Bruno and Eleanor Longden were brilliant. In fact everyone who got up to speak were fantastic. It takes courage especially when someone has suffered from mental illness and been on the wards suffering in some cases shocking treatment and there were members of SOAP present (Speak Out Against Psychiatry) – the group of mainly former patients who have done so much to help me and care about others who are abandoned and who have done much to support me as a mother. It was an all day event about Stigma and Discrimination and this not only affects service users but the families too. Some families are ashamed to speak out whereas I take a different approach and to eradicate stigma my approach is the right way in my opinion. I hope by getting up to speak and with by blog it will educate those parents and family members who may have distanced themselves from someone they care for, son or daughter – many patients said to me “I wish you were my Mum, my Mum dies not want to know me any more”. I would suggest that a parent/carer reads the book called Prozac Panacea Pandora by Dr Ann Blake Tracy. Also they should never give uo as parents or turn their backs. I as a mother have done research into this and have found many interesting books such as Pharmageddon by Prof David Healy, Molecules of Emotion by Dr Candace Pert, Dr Walsh Nutrient Power and he is looking for 20 doctors to train up for Chy Sawel. Surely anything must be better than yet another acute ward. When the care fails a patient needs a peaceful surrounding and understanding – peer support can bring greater understanding and encouragement to get well as they have a real understanding unlike myself and professionals who do not listen. My daughter was always saying “why wont they listen, Mum”. Frank Bruno mentioned about the negative response from professional’s too.

Getting back to me it is no wonder patients are upset as just look how I as a mother have been treated. It is easy for me to stand up to this kind of abuse but not so for the patients.

I am currently up against a wall of silence at Cambian and social services. Since I found out the Tribunal was arranged behind my back I am very cautious as to what is going on and feel I need a mediator to communicate with such a team which would end the lack of communication. Well I have managed to find one who is very experienced with court proceedings . This person has given me tremendous advice.

The date for the Tribunal is being sorted out right now – I know what I am up against – a team who have tried to get rid of me and do not explain to my face the reason why. It is like being up against a brick wall. At least I am being open about things. Instead meetings are going on behind closed doors and having heard from my daughter that she wants me at the next meeting I have requested from Cambian the date of this meeting but have for some reason had no response.

I shall sort this out next week – I shall make an appointment to go right down to the Head Office – it may be easier to deal with them at Head Office plus I want to know when their AGM is. I enjoy going to these events very much and I have not had the pleasure of meeting with the Chief Executive yet. He is obviously a busy man as he has not bothered to return my calls. Elizabeth would like the location of these offices and at the same time there is no harm in me looking at what wonderful accommodation there is that could be suitable for my daughter. As long as the one to one care is provided by the Local Authority then that is great. There is no way that I as the nearest relative want to see either the following:

Elizabeth In hospital for 3 yrs or more! – this is ludicrous – Elizabeth should not even be on a section and if there is any problem with the funding then they should let me know and I will do what I can to help because there is more than one responsible here for my daughter’s decline.

I do not wish to see Elizabeth in a scheme where there is not enough support and I have given this thought. It is essential that I am there to discuss this and other important mattes with the team themselves and this is the second request met by a wall of silence.

Elizabeth should not be on a section and neither should so many and the sooner something is done about this shocking expensive situation the better as far as I am concerned.

It is not good enough in my opinion to act in this way.

Luckily Cambian have found the oils ordered through Dr Tracy but I am also waiting to hear about the electronic cigarettes. Elizabeth has asked for these on several occasions. I am not happy if my daughter is being ignored and shall take this up with head office.

I have decided not to waste any more time with chasing up responses when I have Head Office within walking distance on my doorstep.

Tomorrow I have the Daily Mail coming to see me and I am thrilled that a leading newspaper is taking such an interest in my case. There needs to be a lot more said about the shocking system whereby young people are trapped on never ending sections simply because there are no suitable facilities where they can get the level of support they need in the community such as a therapeutic community. This may not be right for everyone but at least there should be choice.

Anyway, although the conference yesterday was about Stigma, I was delighted with the speeches of Frank Bruno and Eleanor Longden that are inspiring to so many like my daughter – only wish she could have been there – she did ask but she is miles away under a section which is unfair. I had to be honest and although it was about Stigma I found myself speaking about the shocking care too but pointed out in a relevant way that I as a mother am proud to stand up and talk about what is needed and on behalf of those who have no voice to speak for themselves that the public are unaware of and what is costing a fortune – how much does it cost to keep someone in hospital for years on end and then they end up deteriorating as the only care is enforced drugging. This money could be better spent on the A&Es that are being shut down . How is anyone going to get better on a neverending section when what should be provided is more support in the community and the involvement of other former patients as companions and peer support and the choice of a fresh start perhaps (which may not suit everyone) however there is no choice and nothing good in the current system.

Congratulations to the organisers of this event who worked hard to provide wonderful food, I could not fault the way this whole event was organised and the organisers would do a fantastic job if they were involved in patient’s activities and the provision of decent facilities and food etc for the patients. Well done to the organisers of this event.

I have not spoken to Elizabeth for a few days but I am not having the consultant psychiatrist of Cambian tell me the anything of the sort against what others have heard in the family that Elizabeth DOES NOT WANT ME AT THE NEXT CPA. OH YES SHE DOES. Elizabeth has requested I be present at the next CPA! I currently waiting for the response to this. I need to know the time of this meeting. I have not once been invited. I have never met the consultant psychiatrist either. I need to hear whether they have found the mauve rug and the outcome of the allowance of the Electronic Cigarettes too – there is much needed to be discussed at the CPA that is for sure.

The family meeting:

The family meeting went surprisingly well. I am afraid that is all I can put at the moment on my blog on this as there will hopefully soon be the much awaited court case.
It will be decided at this court case the future care of my daughter who is under strict control by Cambian in Wales right now. I think they would like to keep her forever – the more she is drugged the more disabled she is becoming, the more noticeable – it is heartbreaking to watch and especially to think that these so called responsible caring drugs companies do NOTHING to step in and help the victims of their industry. It should be enforced in my opinion that each and every drugs company helps – for instance there is no decent care throughout the UK and I have seen humane care abroad – where is the help when there is nothing here. As there is nothing decent here in the UK the Government needs to help organisations like Chy Sawel, Root and Branch and Soteria. As no one has a clue how to properly take someone off drugs in the UK if a patient is having adverse side effects then the advice should be taken from experts abroad such as Dr Ann Blake Tracy and Dr Walsh who should be invited over here to give advice.

I am horrified at the bulk of psychiatrists who only want to push drugs left right and centre without any regard for anyone else but themselves. There are however a few outstanding psychiatrists that do speak the truth may God praise these few for being brave enough to stand up for the vulnerable patients like my daughter. I commend them.

Anyway, I have spoken to Elizabeth today who was hoping to be taken out to the coast. On a beautiful day like today I hope she has not been kept cooped up on the ward.

Anyway, I went to a fabulous show in Aylesbury tonight – a dance show with full orchestra. As a young girl Elizabeth was given the opportunity to do ballet and I thought had potential for this however I did not push this upon her as this was something that she just tried. She also did swimming, brownies and piano. Elizabeth continues to take an interest in music and has said on occasions “All I have is my music”. Elizabeth should be enjoying herself – she is young and should be out with friends, she once had a job and was doing OK but the drugs that have been prescribed have ruined everything and she even has said “I am missing out on my life, Mum”. How extremely cruel life can be but that is the care on offer in the UK DRUG PUSHING and acute wards and now patients like my daughter where all else has failed are referred to the private sector care paid for by the Local Authority. The kind of private care that would be better suited is a therapeutic community and not just another private hospital where OK the facilities may be better that your average acute ward but the care is as inhumane as any other acute ward. In addition to the drugs prescribed by the Bethlem I happen to know that other drugs were pushed such as Lorazepam and I have specifically requested that this practise be stopped. It almost reminds me of the Michael Jackson case. I applaud the family of Michael Jackson to stand up for his rights and I as a mother intend to do that for my daughter and hope that awareness is brought about by the public and accountability to the Government for how much they are spending on care that is NOT WORKING! and is against human rights. and for anyone who believes in God – it must surely be against God to allow enforced drugging – a patient being tortured by being pinned down by numerous members of staff to administer a drug which they WRONGLY state you have to be on for the rest of your life. If withdrawal was done correctly like Dr Tracy says over a period of 1 – 2 years slowly and gradually then there would be no problems. However, nothing is done properly in the UK in my opinion.

nly wish I could have brought Elizabeth to see this wonderful performance. No doubt Elizabeth would be in bed at this time. She has to lie down and have a sleep in the afternoons but they make her get up early. They make her do chores even though she says she does not feel well. The staff do not know how badly Elizabeth must be feeling as they are not on these drugs themselves.

ance by c

The conference on the 4th July at the Institute of Psychiatry is about Stigma.

Many people are misinformed about mental health patients and read articles in the press that portray them to be violent/aggressive, killers and psychopaths which is untrue.    I believe that ignorance leads to Stigma and that the press do not help as they do not print enough positive things about mental health patients for a start.    All you get to hear about is negative articles of someone who has committed serious crime –  there is no mention hardly of the psychiatric treatment and what should be looked at is in fact the drugs that are prescribed by psychiatrists.  Such drugs do not help everyone and can actually make someone worse.

Stigma is attached to the label given by psychiatrists – there are too many to mention in the DSM5 and the labels could even extend to them themselves but a label is access to the so called “treatment” and access to the benefits because once on this “treatment”  a person is not in a fit state to work!   The treatment I am referring to is the anti-psychotic and anti-depressant “medication” which I prefer to call as drugs.  These so called drugs have done nothing for my daughter except cause harm.  She has been on around 14 now and none have worked in my opinion.  The team will desperately try to defend the drugs.  It is beneficial for a team to put patients on drugs and the more drugs the better because a patient is less trouble when they are sleeping and like a zombie – it is easier to control under a locked prison like environment such as an acute ward.   The public may think that such people deserve to be drugged and treated like this and that a professional expert such as a psychiatrist is qualified to come up with diagnosis after diagnosis and can be trusted in these diagnoses.  In actual fact a diagnosis is just a label – it is the green light to give the drugs which is the main treatment in the UK and opens doors as far as benefits go providing work to many professionals and money to the establishments.  The stigma is attached to the label given and sometimes there can be lots of labels and this has made me question everything and look further into matters.  The public may perceive Schizophrenia for instances as a very serious illness where patients are violent and can kill.  How very untrue –  patients with such a condition are treated appallingly in the UK – in fact some may be misdiagnosed and with the neverending drug treatment given, it is hard to tell then what is really wrong but many have in the first instance suffered from some sort of abuse/trauma.  This is the kind of abuse I am talking about:

Bullying/rape and sexual abuse   

The symptoms of depression can be mistaken for something more serious and then a label gets given.

When people read negative things in the press about mental health patients, they are afraid and some people affected by such labels are also afraid to tell others because of prejudice and discrimination. 

Mothers may be ashamed of any adverse behaviour but how many look into the drugs given and see the real truth and the fact that such drugs can affect ANYONE even those who are so called “normal”.   Who is normal in any case –  I have watched psychiatrists and the way they behave and have come to the conclusion that they seem very insecure people and some get a kick out of their powers to control.  A psychiatrist can control the whole team and influence their decisions as I have seen.    The team stick by a psychiatrist and say “it is a team decision”.  In fact the main person giving the decision in my opinion is the psychiatrist.

I have come across psychiatrists who are too lazy to read and some who say “I have enough reading to do”  – in actual fact this is not good!  A psychiatrist should look into everything and be interested in what happened to that patient before they were referred.   It is easy to point the finger at home and family but that is not always the case – sometimes something has happened outside of the home and family and that person needs counselling and not drugs.

In my family such powerful mind altering drugs which can be used to chemically brainwash patients against families (especially if a team do not like the mother for instance) and these drugs can actually cause hallucinations, delusions, confusion –  as Dr Ann Blake Tracy quite rightly says in her book Prozac Panacea Pandora these drugs can affect people adversely – it is all about serotonin as Dr Walsh says in his book Nutrient Power if undermethylated the drugs can work but if overmethylated the drugs can be harmful and that is why I have had my daughter tested privately.

Getting back to stigma it is wrong of a mother to attach blame on their son/daughter without looking into the drugs and doing some research into things.  I do not deny that at first I myself was not pleased and could not understand as a once immaculate person was going downhill before my eyes and I also trusted the professionals but they only give the drugs on a trial and error basis without any scientific proof of whether such a label is correct or not.

Not all psychiatrists are bad but the vast majority of them just want to push the drugs.

For instance there should be more orthomolecular psychiatrists like the one I appointed privately.

An orthomolecular psychiatrist will carry out intensive tests at the Bio Lab to determine what is the real cause.  Such tests were dismissed by the local NHS hospital.  I have had them done again especially for Dr Walsh for when he comes over.

Yes I believe such behaviour and personality “disorders” may be caused by food intolerance, copper/lead imbalance and I believe that these can be rectified by correct treatment in terms of nutrition. 

I would love someone like Jamie Oliver to get involved in a project to try and help people where everything else has failed.  Even if experts are sceptical it is all very well and good them experimenting to their hearts content on known dangerous drugs but in fact they should be thinking of the long term health of that person and listening to the patient if they say they are suffering from serious side effects.    Imagine what it must be like to be pinned down and forced to have an injection of poisonous chemicals by 6 staff or more.

So I have read that Mr Lamb thinks Triage in the street would help back up Police.  No, this is not the answer –  proper assessment centres set up with doctors trained by Dr Walsh and helped by Dr Ann Blake Tracy is the answer – such a Triage where is this leading back to the acute wards where patients are forced to take drugs and the drugs are increased.  How many admissions/re-admissions and the cause – in some cases the drugs are the cause as they can actually cause psychosis and act like LSD.  I have seen my daughter in a dream like state during the day –  I have listened to her described how it felt to feel like she was crawling out of her skin.  This is a condition called Akathisia – A DIRECT RESULT OF THE DRUGS AND NOT AS A RESULT OF A SO CALLED CONDITION.

Look at the book by Dr Candace Pert.

The drugs do not affect everyone in such a bad way and can appear to help some but for others it is a downward spiral.  I can never accept that someone is beyond help and should be just written off but that is what the current care system is doing to so many.

It is not just people who are deemed as being violent/aggressive kept locked away for years on end – some of the most vulnerable people are also locked away alongside them – they may have been abuse victims and put on a multitude of drugs that have not helped.  They may be self-harming and suicidal –  again the drugs can cause not only hostility but also suicide.  People think this is to do with the condition but the reason why the professionals like to keep someone on the drugs forever is simply because it is easier for them and I believe it is profitable as the more disabled someone gets the more the team can argue that the person cannot look after themselves or are a risk to THEMSELVES – not a risk to the public!   It is risky to put someone like that in the community however if in the right environment that person could excel.  For instance what is there on an acute ward – very little to do – noisy volatile atmosphere where patients are locked up as prisoners.  This can be intimidating for some and they can end up feeling worse.

So, I hope I get the chance to stand up and say “STIGMA IS CAUSED BY LABELLING, LABELLING IS THE ACCESS TO SERVICES AND BENEFITS,  FEAR AND IGNORANCE BY MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC FUELED BY NEGATIVE PRESS/MEDIA ATTENTION TOWARDS MENTAL HEALTH PATIENTS LEADS TO STIGMA.

HOW TO GET RID OF STIGMA.

I for one would be more than happy to meet anyone to talk about this indepth and show how people can get well again and move on in their life – that a label means nothing as there is no proof –  the background of someone under mental health is not necessarily a bad background and it is not always associated with poverty either.  I would wish to show that people have a lot to offer and are not all violent criminals but want to work, want to do something but may be limited because of the drugs and ARE NOT LAZY.  The drugs can make someone tired and lethargic unfit to work and do even simple tasks – some people may perceive this to be laziness.  Some people may point the finger at someone who is overweight without question and label them as being lazy.   This is not the case –  someone could be affected by weight gain because of the drugs for instance.  Elizabeth is being given Metformine off Label not even tried and tested for weight loss.  How bad is this!  The harm these drugs are doing to my daughter can be seen from the test results done through Peter Bennett of Rehealth/Bio Lab and now as a mother I want something better for my daughter and changes brought about in the UK  –  Someone should personally go and have a look at Tornio and Trieste.  The care is humane unlike here in the UK -I am disgusted with the care in place and the press should be doing more to promote the need for Chy Sawel and Sandra Breakspeare will be coming to this conference hopefully and like I say I would welcome the chance to say exactly what I think about Stigma.    The way to get rid of stigma is to educate and it would seem that the professionals need to review what they are doing as it is easy for them to push these drugs and dump someone into society but it is the families who see the true heartache and are left feeling helpless by the inadequate services and care of only drugging.  It is the patients and some of the families who should be listened to and how on earth is this Government going to make a team communicate with a mother like myself – what can they do to ensure that families and carers are not just dismissed as it is all very well talking about it but something needs to be done to ensure this goes ahead.  I would personally welcome the opportunity of intervention in my case as I have had nothing but trouble in terms of inclusion and communication – I have only been faced with exclusion and threats from various teams which I would personal label as bullying.

Like I said in a previous blog, it does not matter whether you are outspoken like me or quiet you can still be treated the same from what I have heard from some of the other mothers.

I do not recognise Stigma as a mother of two who have been affected.  If stigma is termed at guilt or shame I feel none of it as I am proud to be outspoken on this subject and feel I am using this opportunity to inspire a fresh look at current care.  There are many other mothers who also feel this way but are not being outspoken –  so it is not just me who is unhappy but I can understand why some do not wish to speak out.  Just look at the hassle I have had to deal with and that not only includes the care teams but social services!  It is not just the care in hospitals SOCIAL SERVICES need to be told about INCLUSION rather than EXCLUSION.  In fact a social worker said “she would be happier with her own kind”   This is ridiculous!  there should be integration more and more help and support given in this respect.   

As a mother I have put up with many things going missing but this is the last straw!

When my daughter was a patient at the National Psychosis Unit in Beckenham Kent, she was promised in writing a drug free period of assessment by Professor Murray but this was not given. The least I could do as a mother was to provide the Bethlem with something that Dr Ann Blake Tracy recommended, the Young Living Oils. In addition to this I provided books and CDs to assist the team but the consultant psychiatrist complained he had no time to read the books and it is no wonder everything was done wrongly. I had ordered the supplements from America and also gave these for safe keeping in the office as these were prescribed by the private psychiatrist that I had appointed. It has only just come to light that the oils and the supplements have vanished into thin air and now I want an investigation.

To be fair there seems to be a new manager at the Bethlem who was quite helpful but I received calls from the hospital whilst I was away in Wales and today I telephoned as I would like to know what is going on. It is possible that in the rush to get Elizabeth away from me and send her to Wales that these were forgotten but a young female nurse today said she personally remembered the oils being packed – this disputes what Cambian has to say that they have not got them. I have had to ring Cambian again today.

Well I want those oils found as they were beneficial to Elizabeth and it is better to give them than say Lorazepam. They cost enough and as for the supplements they seem to have vanished as well. Well to me this is not good enough.

I am going to contact Dr Ann Blake Tracy this evening as I may have to order more oils and more supplements at this rate and I will be sending the bill – why should I have to pay for these beneficial items yet again that have gone missing. There was a lovely blanket that I bought for Elizabeth too and this has only just come to light that it is also missing.

When someone is on a high level of chemicals like my daughter they need to be properly looked after and these items are not just a few pounds. “The only thing that works for me is the oils” – now I want these oils found. I may have to even call into the ward if nothing is done.

Changing the subject – on TV this evening was featured about restraining mental health patients. Well having been on the police training course myself I have to say this was excellent and no way did the training in any way advise restraint by pinning a patient face down. This is totally wrong – the training was right however the biggest abuse as I see it is the enforced drugging and this in itself can mean pinning a patient down and forcing them by staff. How very inhumane. It is not just the police that media should feature but it is the shocking care itself and the whole legal system that allows such abuse to go on.