I had a few days off work to see my daughter Elizabeth who is miles from home right now.

I had arranged with the team prior to my visit so that for the first time in so long I could actually spend some time alone with her without a member of staff standing over and listening to every single word of conversation and watching you all the time.  This is how it has been for quite some time now both at the previous hospital and at Cambian but since solicitors have got involved, things have changed and also members of the team who brought her down for her Birthday for a few hours could see the family home and close friends who I had invited for a little party.

The weather was reasonable – I thought it would be snow and ice everywhere as it has been bitterly cold in London with snow falling the past week.

I took Elizabeth to see some of the countryside in the car and surrounding areas and I think she enjoyed the time she spent out.  I do not know how much time Elizabeth gets outside in the fresh air – to be fair the weather has not been good and she did look very pale but glad to see me.    The surrounding area is beautiful compared to where I live –  I found myself questioning if I was happy living in London and the answer is “no”.  I have lived here all my life but  have no quality of life whatsoever.  I spend most of my time at work and hardly see other members of the family I am close to.  Commuting takes much of time and I work full time.   I have thought about having Elizabeth home again and would love to have her home but in order to get well I believe that Elizabeth needs to be in a peaceful area.  I noticed that she suffered panic attacks whilst out and was petrified of heights.  We went to see a beautiful castle today but she was not able to walk far.  I wanted to take her on a train ride to see more of the countryside on a special railway but this was not open as it is still not the holiday season.  If Elizabeth was to come home she would need 24 hour care in that she is so vulnerable and so many bad things have happened – noone will put their hands up and say “sorry” – there is a culture of teams sticking together and covering up things that have gone wrong.  One thing is for sure the care locally did not work and the people where my daughter is now in general seem more friendly and I noticed in the hotel where I stayed, families were together and celebrating happy occasions and out socially together – I wished that my family were all together on seeing this but this is rare as other family members are working and the only time we get together is Xmas and Easter.  I wished that I was forever on holiday and could afford to take Elizabeth out like I did over the past few days.

Elizabeth expressed concerns and anxiousness.  I asked what she was worried about – it was not herself but all of us in the family – her concerns were that she hoped noone would get ill.  All the time I worry about the high level of drugs and that every day the team and giving her these drugs that will lead her to an early grave.  I am sad and bitter because I question the diagnosis as there is no proof of such diagnosis and that is why I want the assessment done by Dr Walsh.  It is highly dangerous to come off these drugs the team have given her over many years –  Dr Ann Blake Tracy explains that you can only come off them if this is done extremely slowly and over a long period of time and the environment has to be right and also nutrition as the drugs drain the body of vitamins and nutrients.  The team took her off 50mg – this is far too much and was done whilst she was living in the scheme locally and  of course this did not work.  I then appointed an orthomolecular psychiatrist who would have reduced her slowly and gradually but even  he said the scheme was the wrong environment.  After that, and shocking care and neglect, my daughter ended up in the most dreadful place ofall called the Bethlem Royal Hospital.  I had no idea this was a research hospital – I was promised she would be taken off the drugs and given a drug free period of assessment by Professor Robin Murray who quickly distanced himself and even said to give them a chance.  By this time she had a section slapped on her because they took her off 150mg of Seroquel and mixed it with Olanzapine.  Dr Tracy said they would have been well aware this leads to adverse behaviour and then came the excuse of a section.  Not that Elizabeth was any danger to the public – on the contrary she could hardly stand let alone walk and then came the worst and most dangerous drug (Clozapine) although Dr Tracy says they are all bad.

Anyway, I tried to challenge the team and this did not go down well and was treated like a criminal.  What chance or hope do I have amongst such a team who have power to act and it is no wonder the pharmacist and psychiatrist smiled throughout the meeting.  Elizabeth said she got shouted out and I am sure something  happened to her as her face was literally covered in bruises and the manager of the ward said she saw nothing.  No sign of bruising was seen by this manager who even asked when it occurred and I was able to tell her exactly due to the fact I keep this blog as a reference.

Anyway I am sad to be back home again and I am still waiting for the date of the Tribunal where the section can be challenged.  The team will argue she needs to be on a section because she cannot look after herself – they will use every excuse in the book to argue this is the case and that is why so many young people are locked away unfairly because far from being a risk to the public there may a risk to that person in coping and that shows lack of care in the community available.

If there was decent care in the community then someone vulnerable would be able to eventually get back on their feet but I have mixed feelings –  whilst she is miles away from home I could not help but notice there was more of a community, more caring and in general things seemed nicer and I would consider buying somewhere for Elizabeth to live as well with a live in carer and may consider moving myself eventually –  I am so torn about what to do.

Elizabeth is constantly on my mind and there are too many bad memories here locally.  Friends have long since gone – I would like her to meet new friends who care about her.

I put the change in Elizabeth’s character not down to a serious mental illness but a prescription – a prescription given to her by her doctor of anti-depressants as this was the turning point and I wonder why on earth there is not more correct publicity and education but then these drugs affect people in different ways and some may argue they have even helped them but I have since read the book Nutrient Power by Dr William Walsh and understand that they do not work for everyone and Dr Walsh goes on to explain the reasons for this and this is why I feel that proper assessments should be given before such drugs are prescribed in the first place as you cannot just come off them and there are no facilities here for this to be done safely.  None of this is reported correctly in the press – the public only gets to hear some terrible incidents and then this justifies the fact that patients should be forced to take these drugs when in actual fact the drugs are making them even more ill and they should come off them and if done correctly this can be done safely in the right surrounds and with the right kind of care in place and there is more than one expert speaking out against what is going on right now.     The fact is this has nothing to do with mental illness – if ANYONE was to take these drugs they could  have the affect of making them either suicidal or suffering bouts of severe aggression, confusions, sexual dysfunction, serious physical side effects, a dream like state during the day, hallucinations, dizziness – huge weight gain.  I could go on and on and one –  the sheet you get given in the  hospital does not tell you  half – I was against Elizabeth going on these drugs in the first place.  I am very sad that the care is so awful with no other choice and that drugs dominate “care” in the UK in such a huge way.

For the first time I will be allowed hopefully to take Elizabeth out unescorted.

Cambian will not give any reasons for why they imposed such sanctions against me in the first place but I suspect getting solicitors involved has made a difference as when asked, they refused to give me any reason for such a ban being in place.   The control and manipulation I have seen under Cambian and this hospital below has been unbelievable.

http://nationalpsychosisunitsurvivor.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/national-psychosis-unit-psychiatrist.html

The team seem to be panicking about me seeing the contents of the file in any way and this makes me believe they have something to hide.

The battle for justice for my daughter has definitely had an effect on my health but not mentally – I feel all the more determined to see justice and the fact that what they are doing is so very wrong and detrimental to my daughter.  To use a patient in that way who is drugged up to her neck on powerful sedatory drugs is wicked and cruel.   There is a greater divide in the family now as a result and Elizabeth and her sister are torn between family members – for instance the Grandma who said “dont tell your mother” – that was as a result of Elizabeth being brought down for her Birthday to the rest of the family.

It is Easter coming up and I have put in for some unescorted leave and hope that I can have my daughter home then.

It is as though the team were trying to sever contact altogether and I feel I have a right to see the files as there are comments relating to me in them and if a ban is imposed against someone and you are referring to that person then I have a right under the Data Protection Act to see this.

This is a time also when you can clearly see who your friends truly are and many just disappear or some can take advantage.  It is sad that you cannot always trust who you think are your true friends especially when it comes to money and possessions.  Again the law is not geared to protect you against dishonest behaviour but I will document more about this another time as this will result in yet another court case.

I had a nice day today. My younger daughter presented me with a nice card she had designed with photos of her and Elizabeth. Elizabeth looked stunning in those photos as they were taken at a time when she was not on a mountain of drugs – drug free and happy.

We went to a nice Indian restaurant which was not local to where we live. The journey was horrific as there had been an accident and in the UK this brings chaos to the roads.

My younger daughter is doing well but was once labelled and put on anti-psychotic drugs as a child – a victim of something that happened to her at school. I could not believe how quickly they wanted to push drugs at a child and when I looked up Rispiridal I was apalled to see “not tried and tested on children”. Even on 1mg of this chemical her legs became like tree trunks, her body swelled out and this led to bullying and being called “psycho and mental” in the street.

The cure for my daughter was a new school which I had to pay for as there were no places in state schools available and this was a stage school where she excelled. 7 to a class, extremely competitive but kids who threw themselves into working so hard to put on a good performance which led to her achieving good academic results too. Anyway, she has much to be thankful for with regard to this school.

Elizabeth was not interested in acting/dancing like her sister but was given the same opportunity. She liked music and had piano lessons but she was more into sport and wanted to be a chef. Elizabeth was doing well for herself then – she had a car, was learning to drive and going to college as well as working for 2 years part time.

I did not hear anything from Elizabeth today but then she does not know what time/day or anything she is so drugged up. It is sad to think my daughter is in bed sometimes midday because that is the effect of these awful drugs. She has even said “I am missing out on my life, Mum”.

I am going to see Elizabeth next week. I have been told verbally by the consultant psychiatrist at Cambian she can now see the independent doctor which was holding up the Tribunal.

I quite like the new doctor but am worried how things will be when the other one comes back who clearly did not like me at all. When a doctor does not like you they can say all sorts of things behind your back and influence the person under their care by persuading them that it is best not to have contact with the mother. The new psychiatrist in contrast has bothered to speak to me on the phone – whether or not he likes me he has tried to communicate with me and to understand my concerns that these drugs will cause long term health problems to my daughter. Also I do not think she should be sectioned – the Maudsley have a lot to answer for in my opinion. I am furious at the incompetence of this so called worldwide renowned hospital taking my daughter off 150mg of Seroquel then deliberately slapping on a section. I want a full investigation into this and what happened to cause my daughter’s face full of bruises. I also want an investigation into the way I was treated like a criminal.

The team at Cambian cannot find any reason to ban me from contact. Despite the way I feel about these rotten drugs – I am not a doctor and could not attempt to take her off however if only I could send her to some of the brilliant care centres in America. Despite the shocking care in America there are some places like Alternative to Meds, Earth House and Cooper RIIs – these places offer humane care – what is there here – NOTHING. I want to address all of this in person to Mr Hunt himself and will hopefully see him at a forthcoming conference. I will bring the book of Dr Walsh for him to read and learn something as it is all well and good him going on about more data. I have provided him with more data on Twitter and he needs to read the books I will bring with me to this conference.

I am thinking what to do now for the future as I do not want Elizabeth to remain in that hospital forever but coming home to live in a busy and stressful environment of London may not be good for her either. I want to buy her somewhere to live but she will have to have a carer live in. The problem is – who can you trust. I have heard such horrific accounts of the abuse going on from various mothers and am worried about placing her in anything that may be council run. I would rather find the employees myself and see to it that things are checked upon. Anything would be better than being in that hospital for ever but she cannot do things for herself any more and I would have to look for an orthomolecular nurse – there are orthomolecular psychiatrists and this is what I would like for my daughter as the drugs do not work so surely it is totally wrong to just carry on pushing these drugs that will kill her. I need something done to allow Elizabeth to be gradually and slowly reduced by professionals and Dr Ann Blake Tracy should be invited over here to train some of these professionals up as noone has the faintest clue how to properly reduce someone off these chemicals in the UK. ANYONE taking these LSD like serotonin reuptake inhibiting drugs could suffer psychosis not just a so called mental health patient. I saw a post by Professor Healy about this and this is quite right. I have posted some of his links to Mr Hunt. I am looking forward to meeting Mr Hunt in the near future.

Not Elizabeth’s words but I think I know who could have said these comments.  These comments were said at Cambian Four Star Wards during the time I was banned from contact.  This ban has been lifted now as there were no grounds for such a ban.  There is a new psychiatrist who is much nicer in the way he has bothered to communicate with me directly and this is something that is rare as normally a doctor could not care less to ring you back and you have to phone again and again to get response.  It is not of any benefit to Elizabeth to listen to nasty comments said against me behind my back or be deprived of contact.  It was extremely cruel what was going on under Cambian 4 Star Wards before the new psychiatrist was appointed.  He in contrast has telephoned me and returned my calls – he seems much more of a caring and understanding person.  I am not sure I want Elizabeth to remain at Cambian when the old psychiatrist returns who clearly did not like me.  I have no doubt it was detrimental and upsetting for Elizabeth who commented that other mothers were invited to the CPA meetings but instead of me the team invited her father and that is because he has not been outspoken on anything to do with the care.  Neither does he know anything about the drugs and how harmful they are.

Since the letter from my solicitors, my ban – supervised phone calls and escorted leave have been lifted. In addition, my daughter can now have the assessment done through Dr Walsh..  Now I have had a verbal confirmation Elizabeth can see the independent doctor for the Tribunal – the independent doctor represents my daughter at the Tribunal appointed by me.

I will be going to see Elizabeth next week, as I have time off from work.   It is a quiet area and peaceful where Elizabeth is.  I have requested that she comes to stay me – she has said “nothing beats home”.

It is such a situation now that Elizabeth cannot manage alone to do anything – needs looking after and if left on these awful drugs will need looking after for the rest of her life.  Also what none of these doctors consider is the long term health problems and even if a patient complains of serious side effects nothing is ever done.

The trouble is the hospital have renewed her section for another 6 months and could continue to do this for much much longer.   A hospital is no place for Elizabeth to get better but whilst I would like to have her home I just do not know if this is the right answer also as she will become too dependant on me.  Elizabeth will one day need to be independent and at home she could not be left alone in the house and I would have to stay at home rather than go to work.  The carers contribution from the Governement  is paltry –  very little to stay at home and support the patient.

What I did for my father was to buy a property, have carers living in and I wonder if this could be possible for my daughter and if only I could find an orthomolecular doctor/nurse to ensure my daughter has the correct treatment – holistic care.

I will write more about my visit to see Elizabeth next time.

Elizabeth’s sister went to visit her today.  She has taken her out shopping and for a meal so I understand.  Elizabeth’s younger sister missed out on seeing her for her Birthday and works full time.  Elizabeth’s sister was once diagnosed with Schizophrenia as a child and given mind altering drugs – fortunately I managed to get her off and I sent her to private school where she excelled. She later went to boarding school and then university and graduated last year.  So  much for the diagnosis of Schizophrenia which makes me feel that doctors are only too willing to come up with a label for someone without any scientific proof. 

No doubt Elizabeth had a nice time with her sister and I plan to go and see her in a week’s time and hopefully have her to stay over Easter.

It is better now that sanctions have been lifted but I am worried when the previous psychiatrist returns then the team will once again be governed by rules such as this.  This previous doctor did not even meet me yet formed an opinion based on file notes so I assume – the previous doctor said “I have heard all about your past behaviour”  – the previous doctor clearly did not like me as there have been other more disturbing things said not directly to me, which have got back to me.  It reminds me of the team at her previous scheme when someone told a friend of mind “we cannot be bothered with her because of the mother” – well they clearly do not like it when you complain that is for sure but when you see no food in the fridge, overflowing washing, unclean conditions and rotting food, you start to question what care is there and then when you speak out and get nowhere and complain again and again it is not liked yet they got around £800 a week and how much is this care costing to keep Elizabeth in hospital drugging her up on one of the most expensive drugs when her diagnosis is in question.   It was heartbreaking to see Elizabeth declining when she was in the scheme, not eating well, staff not able to engage, the flat unclean and no food in the fridge considering she was once immaculate and independent- this is what the drugs do for you.  The drugs they insist someone has to take for the rest of their lives.  The drugs cause lethargic/overwhelming tiredness/complete lack of energy as well as other serious side effects. Noone cares or takes any notice.  Right now staff are pushing at Elizabeth to do things for herself and this can make a patient resentful –  again the level of drugs can dictate the capability of someone to do things for themselves as well as their thinking capacity which doctors like to play on and suggest that person has full mental capacity.

I am most concerned as to where Elizabeth will be placed in time and do not want her to go to another scheme – I am also not sure London is a good environment for her to  be in either.  I would like to buy a property for her and perhaps the mother of the other young man from the previous ward could move in there from hospital. We would like holistic care as nothing else has worked.  The house could have an orthomolecular nurse living in and hopefully direct payments to secure therapeutic care.  This would be my dream – I am not sure that direct payments would ever be given as social services like to play on the fact that a patient should ask but what when someone is not capable of asking then that person gets absolutely nothing and that is how the team likes to manipulate things.  This reminds me of when they had someone from Disability Action visiting and after 6 months had not come to a decision on what Elizabeth wanted.  I booked for Elizabeth to see the leading hypnotherapist called Susan Hepburn – you should have seen the team’s reaction!  Anyone would think they had some kind of disorder the way they behaved and I have never seen anything like that – in fact it was quite amusing.  They desperately tried to stop Elizabeth from going to this appointment which had cost me hundreds and there was no way I was going to allow them to get away with this. As I worked full time in Central London and at the time was near to Harley Street, I arranged for a cab to be booked to pick Elizabeth up from home with two accompanying friends.  When I first saw Elizabeth she looked dreadful and did not eat anything at the restaurant where I took the friends out to – I got the afternoon off work and met them near to Harley Street and then we took Elizabeth for the appointment.  Elizabeth was really ill when she went in – she barely spoke, barely ate anything and was like a bundle of nerves however after coming out of just 1 session of hypnotherapy I could not believe the miracle – Elizabeth came out like she once was, calm, speaking normally, happy and relaxed – what was all this fuss about!   Why is it that this is not recommended under NICE guidelines when it actually worked for her and that showed up the whole shocking care that the drugs are useless in her case.  I then got to find out that hypnotherapy is given by SOME not all NHS trusts and this is where they could further save their money.  I could have found out in 1 hour what Elizabeth wanted from Direct Payments and to think that social services made a huge fuss.   I would recommend this treatment to anyone but sadly I could not find anyone to take Elizabeth for the next appointment  the week after – if she had had about 5 or 6 appointments – I keep thinking about this now –  it would certainly be useful if Elizabeth was reducing off the drugs and could be useful for schemes set up by alternative care groups.   

Right now I feel the team are are holding up the Tribunal in that they are stating my daughter has not given consent to see the independent doctor. I know for a fact my daughter is too drugged up to be able to appoint a different firm to the perfectly good firm of solicitors she already had and she had already given her consent to me having some information about her care to the previous firm of solicitors and they were replaced by the team at Cambian. The consent was given at a time when Elizabeth was no way drugged up to the extent she is now.   This is what you call real manipulation and control of the whole legal process and now I want an investigation into what happened before this new psychiatrist came to work at the hospital. This sort of thing should not be allowed to go on and  hopefully my solicitor’s involvement will remind the team of their legal obligations and my daughter’s human rights.    So much for the advocates IMHA for stating that” they were not sure a London firm of solicitors would be allowed for the Tribunal as it is in Wales” –  WHY EVER NOT!  this is where the law is failing to protect the weak and vulnerable and there has been a landmark case won – I think this case was won by Kaim Todner Solicitors for the unfair delaying of tribunals.

I am in touch with more mothers and spoke to one over the phone this weekend  –  it would appear that the Panorama programme featuring mentally handicapped patients is just the tip of the iceberg. Abuse is rife by the sounds of it and the wrong people are sometimes employed in the care business.  It is either abuse or neglect suffered by many.   Neglect can lead to further decline in the patient and so many things have happened to Elizabeth whilst in the care system that I no longer want her to go into a council run scheme.  I saw a brilliant scheme run by Mind but in North Wales and they were inundated with people wanting that flat.  I was impressed with the way this was run and had been recommended by someone else.  Anyway I have been thinking of buying a property for Elizabeth to live in and maybe another mother will also be interested in my idea and the appointing of a live in nurse – orthomolecular and if direct payments can be secured then a nutritionist, therapeutic care.  Elizabeth will not be capable to getting to appointments, doing much in the way of work or anything come to that on this shocking level of drugs unless she is reduced correctly as Dr Ann Blake Tracy said.  I would not attempt this myself but if only I could find the right care as there is in the States re Alternative to Meds, Earth House and a few other places –  there is nothing here as yet.  If I could only get together with one or two other mothers and provide care that Dr Walsh instructs but with professional staff involved.   Dr Walsh will hopefully train up 12 doctors as he is coming over in June to the UK. 

There should be choice – not everyone benefits by these harmful drugs.  If overmethylated the drugs do not work and make someone worse – it is no wonder my daughter is “chronic treatment resistant”  – it is simple in that the care is not the right care and consideration to this should be given to all patients who are treatment resistant as this is draining to the NHS and this is where money can be saved for the A&E, Maternity and better care in the  hospitals.  By constant pushing of these drugs, this will only lead to long term health problems and further strain to the NHS.

I am not saying that all NHS care is bad and I feel that more money should be spent on this but when you get mental health patients returning time and time again to the wards I believe that something needs to be done about this situation and this contributes to the lack of funds within the NHS.

My daughter is diagnosed as being “treatment resistant”.  Miles away from home she is now in a private sector run hospital which she describes as like a “four star hotel” –  this for one shows that there needs to be improvements on the normal acute wards and I think they should only be used short term in any case.

However, what is so cruel is the control and manipulation of patients who are drugged up on high dosages of dangeorus drugs and I am so upset – why is my daughter being given such drugs when she is “treatment resistant” – at 800mg a day that to me is high but I know from some mothers that is low compared to what their sons are on – one told me 1300mg a day and some have been experimented on under the Bethlem with dangerous chemicals – all of this experimentation is going on for nothing when I have seen an advertisement that pays thousands of pounds for people to go and volunteer.  This is different.  If people are willing to do that all well and good but it is very wrong to use the likes of my daughter and drug them to the point they do not even know what they are taking.  To ignore a pre-signed Advanced Statement in itself is deceitful but it seems this deceit is widespread because it is as though not many people challenge matters.  The patients are not in a position to challenge – they are too drugged up.  Most carers and mothers are too afraid. 

Mr Hunt wants to encourage whistleblowers – well the whole system needs changing and he needs to visit Tornio in Finland in my opinion.  Why not give Open Dialogue and Holistic Care a change – at least lets try this on a trial basis.  Why not get the experts together who want to see change like Dr Ann Blake Tracy, Dr William Walsh and Professor David Healy.  There are others too – too many to mention but it would seem that many just allow themselves to be dragged along in an evil inhumane system of care without any thought.

If I did not work full time, if I had all day to think about this, it would have the effect of making me ill too.  However I am able to focus on what is happening and switch off where necessary. 

I am now waiting to see if I can actually spend some time with my daughter that has been deprived so long.  I have been told by Cambian all sanctions have been lifted and this is because they have nothing on me to indicatea reason why.  I think it was pure dislike by one member of the team who is in power and who could influence the rest to follow.  I have seen the reactions of some of the staff – they are not all bad –  they  have to go along with the orders of those in senior authority or else they could lose their jobs.  Some have not been able to look me in the face properly and you can tell they feel awkward about what they are having to do.  

Mr Hunt wants to encourage whistleblowers but I think he needs to look at Finland and take their example.  He is wasting his time there – I personally think it is extremely brave of anyone to stand up to injustice –    Mr Hunt needs to look at a law that does not protect the most weakest and vulnerable people and also at complaints procedures that have done NOTHING in my case at all.

I was not happy with the response from Mr Clegg or Mr Cameron.   As for Mr Hunt, he has not even had the decency to reply.  I have been writing to him via Twitter and intend to go down on a day off from work to deliver a copy of the wonderful book by Dr William Walsh called Nutrient Power.

Anyway here is yet another standard letter to add to my collection:

“I am writing on behalf of the Deputy Prime Minister to thank you for your letter of 20 January, in which you request a meeting with him.

I am sorry that due to the pressures on Mr Clegg’s schedule it is not possible to arrange a meeting at this time.

I hope that you will appreciate that the Home Office is the best placed to respond to the matters you raise.  I have been asked to forward your letter to them so that they may reply to you directly.

Thank you once again for writing.”

I have called many times to try and get to see someone higher than my local MP who told me he could not help.  When your local MP cannot help you it is disgusting in my opinion that noone can help and I have taken time off on holiday to go down there to discuss the important issues of my daughter’s care that affects so many.  However it would appear that noone could care less and as soon as mental health is mentioned these politicians hide and do not want to know.  There is so much money being wasted and especially under the mental health and there should be protection to people like my daughter who has a new diagnosis “chronic treatment resistant”.  This is rubbish!  – I do not believe anyone is treatment resistant and there are no centres where my daughter can go in and be reduced off these rubbish chemicals that do not work. 

I have spoken to the new psychiatrist at Cambian and expressed my concerns over the large dosage and the fact my daughter has told me that the team are being quite pushy in getting her to do things.  Yes it is important that someone can do things before they are released from hospital and placed in the community however I do not think it is the right way to go about things.  This kind of pushiness did not work in the scheme –  when someone is on a huge dosage of drugs how on earth do they know how that person must be feeling.  When I have telephoned at the weekend Elizabeth was in bed in the afternoon.  Some people might say that is lazy – however I see things very differently and have listened to what other patients have to say – patients who have been on these shocking mind altering drugs.  They have a sedatory effect and leave that person incapable of doing much at all.   It is a nightmare to see Elizabeth like this – at one time I tried so hard to take her away from what I could see a detrimental environment.    Twice I tried to intervene – I got her a job whilst she was a patient on the ward – a job that involved her going to the day centre where my elderly father was taken as Elizabeth liked to care for other weaker people.  I tried to get her a job working with animals which was therapeutic – I also took her to college, took her to running clubs and special Olympics which benefitted me too as I had decided I wanted a new career in the Police force.  I was very impressed with the training on offer at the disabled running club and used to take a few others and I was also impressed with the scheme and staff involved.  If only Elizabeth was sent there instead of the other scheme – this was for mentally handicapped and I felt that this would have been much safer as well as nearer to home and noone listened.   Elizabeth used to stay at weekends and during the week was on the ward – that was some time ago now but the more drugs that got pushed on Elizabeth the more she deteriorated.  Not one drug has worked and then more and more diagnoses were given and when I asked for proof of these diagnoses I got nothing.   I am all the more puzzled when you read articles like this one:

 http://goforthegold.psychiatrictimes.com     This just sums up the care – I have seen one diagnosis after another given – this is ridiculous however there are so many diagnoses to choose from in the DSM.  It is very profitable to come up with a diagnosis and put someone like my daughter on mind altering LSD like drugs you cannot just come off.  I want to know from Mr Cameron, Mr Clegg and Mr Hunt why there is no centres set up where someone can be reduced safely off prescribed drugs if they are experiencing terrible side effects or are treatment resistant.  What is the point in pushing drug after drug at someone.  I am all the more furious with these politicians for allowing the experimentation at the Bethlem to go on whilst they rake in money from the drugs manufacturing companies and use vulnerable patients as human guinea pigs.  Where is the law to protect my daughter.  I as a mother want some answers and I am in touch with many others who want answers too.  When I asked for appointments to see Mr Clegg to discuss the shocking care in place, I would have brought along many other mothers.  It is not just me.   

I now more then ever want Chy Sawel set up, Soteria, Root and Branch.  At least in the States there are several alternative care centres.   I would also be prepared to take my daughter to Finland for decent care and as everything has failed and my daughter is treatment resistant I believe that The Government should do something and stop the pushing of these drugs and offer holistic care centres as choice to everyone if they so wish.  By pushing these drugs, this will put a burden on the NHS further as not only do they cause obesity, diabetes and body organ failure –  this so called care will cost even more and put more strain on the NHS if something is not done and what a waste of taxpayers money.   All three of them should be accountable and I would personally like to face them and question what are they going to do about this terrible situation that affects so many.   If they do nothing then they do not deserve to be in power.   

After a spell of silence I have been bombarded with letters from Cambian – copies have been sent by email to both work email address and home plus a hard copy in  the post.

So, the latest is the “ban and sanctions” imposed against me have miraculously been lifted.  Could that be because I was well and truly willing to take Cambian to court?   It is horrible to have to think along these lines when all you want is fairness and communication, not exclusion to the point you are told absolutely nothing and that is not what Elizabeth wants.  It is what the team want as they would appear to be afraid of something.    If things were more open and if only things in the UK were like in Tornio, Finland I would not have one complaint to make and neither would all the other mothers I am in touch with who are likewise being treated just the same as me because they have dared to question and speak out.  

It is not my imagination what has been going on – the whole experience has been nothing but a nightmare and I gain little comfort from knowing that I am not alone here and this kind of abuse is widespread.

It would seem that a team can do whatever they like and get away with it.  When you are dealing with people who are mentally ill who on earth could doubt a team of professionals.  Then again if you are a mother of someone stuck under such a cruel and abusive system and dare to speak out this is how you get treated.  All the time the team have been communicating with the rest of the family – dont forget that to begin with I was not complaining at all about this hospital and was in favour and praising them –  however I am deeply suspicious what if any are their links to the Maudsley?

There is no decent complaints procedure and this is why so called professionals can get away with so much.   It would appear the staff all stick together and the one decent and good member of staff disappeared at the Bethlem Hospital and that was the social worker.  For once I came across a social worker I could only describe as excellent.   Suddenly he disappeared, supposedly off sick.   I have hardly had any contact with social workers apart from when they have tried to take me to court to get rid of me as Nearest Relative.   

So, the letter I have states that such sanction as was imposed upon me for which I have proof in writing, has been lifted and that I had been told this on more than one occasion (THAT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE!)   I keep thorough records of everything and the first I heard was when I telephoned Cambian and spoke to the Consultant Psychiatrist and received nothing in writing prior to this.  I am not a mind reader but what was obvious was that my daughter throughout this ban on their part had been texting me constantly.  It is obvious the team of Cambian played a part in discouraging her from contact – Here is the evidence:

Father invited to 1st Tribunal – solicitors kept in the lurch and then displaced.

Manager’s meeting –  arranged day off – they then came up with another date and I had to fit in at short notice then at the  last minute they refused the files to my solicitors.

The doctors do not like to mention anything other than the 300mg of Clozapine.  FACT IS THEY ARE GIVING ON TOP 500mg OFF LABEL OF METFORMINE –  I queried the reason for this and they say it is for weight loss.  On one occasion I found out that a nurse had given something else on top to calm my daughter down.    WHAT ARE THEY DOING!  WHY IS IT ALLOWED TO GIVE A DRUG THAT HAS NOT BEEN TESTED OR APPROVED FOR THE PURPOSE OF WHICH IT IS BEING GIVEN?   I shall be putting that question to Mr Hunt on Twitter!

The Tribunal was not a success and my daughter totally confused and felt she had to go along with the team who SUGGESTED IT WAS BETTER FOR HER TO HAVE A WELSH FIRM!  This is meddling in the legal process in my opinion and then on top of this I found out that ENFIELD MENTAL HEALTH were trying once again (2nd time) to replace me as Nearest Relative. 

Now it is my turn to have the Tribunal and you can have an independent doctor at this Tribunal.  I have appointed one but so far my daughter has failed to give her new Welsh solicitors recommended by Cambian clear instructions yet she has given both verbal and written instructions to the rest of the family.  Now the Tribunal is up in the air.  Apparently this is a common problem and I am not alone here –  I know of others who are having their Tribunals meddled with and delayed.

How can the law protect people like my daughter under a system where abuse is rife.

I have had many letters from other mothers and patients but to some it up in words I would agree with one other mother THIS SICK PERVERSE SYSTEM OF CONTROLLING OUR SICK CHILDREN SHOULD CEASE.   I met with a mother today who is very unhappy and there seems to be more and more who have become so unhappy to the point they are willing to be outspoken and stand up for the rights of their sons/daughters.

I am going to ask for some home leave today for Elizabeth and now that the sanctions have been lifted there should be no excuse for Cambian to say no – my daughter was fine when she came down with 2 escorts.  The escorts did not leave her side and stayed from start to finish of the party I arranged, that of course did not apply to the rest of the family who were left alone.  Apparently according to the Consultant Psychiatrist these escorts ( who by the way I have nothing against) gave a good report back to the Consultant Psychiatrist about the home, family friends etc.  I believe such orders must be coming from top level management rather than just the nursing staff – like at the Bethlem they are just following orders.

Cambian is causing a divide in the family ———–this does more harm than good to someone ill like my daughter and is of no benefit to her but I believe that no matter how much a team tries to hide things – THE TRUTH ALWAYS COMES OUT IN THE END THANK GOD.    I just wish there was more openness and honesty under the mental health and that whether a team like you or not they give you the benefit of the doubt.  I had nothing against someone coming to look at my home etc but now this  has been seen and in light of a divide in which I as Nearest Relative have been treated as opposed to rest of family, I believe changes need to be made.

Yesterday I received a letter from the Consultant Psychiatrist at Cambian to say the supervised phone calls were being stopped and so are the escorted leave restrictions.  Suddenly Cambian no longer wish to impose all these sanctions against me – I wonder why.  Is this because I requested all the file under Data Protection with my name on it?  or could it be because I am willing to take matters to court?  – the other thing is it could also be the fact that I am happy to publicise matters. 

What has been going on highlights the need for change in the current care system in my opinion.  The secrecy, exclusion and controls breach human rights.

Anyway, the consultant psychiatrist is allowing the assessment by Dr Walsh and I have today contacted Dr Walsh.  I then spoke to my daughter over the telephone.

My daughter only appears to know the christian name of her solicitor, not the name of the firm.  This firm replaced one she had previously and was recommended by the team of Cambian.  They were the ones who persuaded my daughter to change her solicitors stating it was best since she was in Wales and this is what  my daughter told me.  However the local firm of solicitors were pushed out by the team yet were prepared to represent my daughter in Wales.  This is all wrong –  no hospital should recommend either solicitors or have close associations with advocates.  I could see what was going on at the Maudsley with Rethink who were far from independent and completely manipulated by the consultant psychiatrist. 

My daughter sounded calm over the phone.  It was quite early yet she was going to bed – sometimes she is in bed during the day –  it seems like the quantity of these drugs have the effect of making her tired and certainly confused that is for sure.   When asked if she  had a telephone number for her solicitors she said it was in the office so she believed.   Tonight she told me she was completely confused by what her solicitor was trying to say and could not explain it properly to me.  What I am concerned about is that my daughter should have a completely independent person go and visit –  no advocates that receive Government funding should be trusted in my opinion.  I would rather someone from a local church go and visit her because it is important that Elizabeth understands as this will delay the Tribunal and then Cambian will start to use this situation to try and justify the fact that my daughter needs more time to decide when all along she is so mixed up and confused.    They probably gave up with the ban as Elizabeth was constantly texting me and if I was to show the phone full of text messages it would look ridiculous in court.

I have been told I can visit, she is allowed home visits and I have wasted no time in contacting Dr Walsh. 

Dr Walsh will be attending the next Chy Sawel Conference.  This is the kind of care I would like to see up and running – holistic care and humane care unlike what is currently in place throughout the UK. 

I cannot wait to see my daughter and hope to come down in March but am trying to get other family members to be available at the same time and then perhaps I can take Elizabeth out as I wanted to take her on a nice train ride last time and this was refused.  I also got refused permission to have her at the hotel where I stayed for a nice meal.   How often do I come and visit and I have not been treated the same as the rest of the family which is all wrong.   None of this kind of behaviour on the part of the team is of any benefit to Elizabeth and could affect her wellbeing.

There is nothing more upsetting than seeing the person you care about being admitted time and time again and not getting any better but this is understandable if you ever take a look at the acute wards and awful atmosphere and lack of things to do – nothing at weekends and there is just so much missing.  Animals are more therapeutic and I read a former patient’s comments about the Bethlem and how that person looked forward to when dogs were included in therapy.  Apparently that was the only good thing on offer.

I started to research the internet in search of something better and found several places in America such as Alternative to Meds and Earth House – there is nothing decent over here at all that compares to this or what is available in Tornio, Finland where I would personally like to take my daughter but then suddenly, I came across Star Wards and Cambian and was filled with hope.   On their website http://www.cambiangroup.com/mental_health_rehabilitation – an article dated 15th February 2011 there is a glowing report.   I then started to beg for my daughter to go somewhere I saw as wonderful but got nowhere by the team at Enfield who stipulated it was down to money yet I pointed out that with all the admissions they may save money if they sent Elizabeth there and perhaps she needed to get away from the local area.  Still they refused.

So, Star Wards is a project which works with mental health services and Trusts to enhance mental health inpatients’ daily experiences and treatment outcomes.  This certainly is a glowing report with the words excellence, therapeutic, stimulating and enjoyable mentioned. 

“It’s had a far-reaching effect on staff and patients alike”    –  You can say that again – I am experiencing such far-reaching effects right now!    They also praise themselves for “we are not just interested in patients’ health problems.  We care about all their daily experiences and want to make their time with us as enjoyable and as valuable as possible.”    The idea was devised by a former mental health service user who I will decline in  mentioning her name but certainly this was what attracted me more than anything else as I truly believe that the involvement of other former patients could be most beneficial , those who have recovered.

I was also excited to read that Cambian have the following exciting things going on:

Buddy systems, guitar lessons, dog walking, clients’ participation in interviews for new staff, visits to the local golf range, pets to care for, from red tailed kites to tortoises, incentive schemes to encourage participation, greem gym, where exercise is mixed with conseration activities, TIPIY – (taking pride and interest in yourself), Exercise plans developed for when clients leave the unit, hairdressing salons, unit holidays, multi-faith rooms, clients show visitors round, community meetings for exchange of ideas.

Apparently EVERY established Cambian Hospital has receied a Full Monty Award.

Apparently Cambian have won Specialist Care Provider of the Year (2012) selected by a panel of 18 distinguished judges from across the Health & Investment sector.

The judges commented the Cambian entry demonstrated:

Consistent development of innovative services and excellent performance, high quality bespoke rehab serices, good outcomes, remarkable business growth amongst other things and Roger Black MBE hosted the Awards and Jeremy Wiles, Group Buisness Development Director collected the award on behalf of Cambian Group.  

Well you can see from all of this above why I so wanted my daughter to go somewhere where I felt she would get better unlike the local acute wards.   Now, however I am seeing the reality of what is really going on behalf closed doors and how you get treated if you dare to speak the truth.  I families were included and personal views based on previous reports not taken into account in a biased manner then that would be good.  There was no dispute between myself and Cambian in the first instance but it would seem that they are the ones who have a grudge against me as a mother and are not treating me the same as the rest of the family.   This argues the case for openness and honesty within teams and inclusion of family/carers as well as proper communication.    Cambian have failed to communicate with me and have excluded me now on more than one occasion.