I have previously said that I am only allowed supervised phone calls and escorted leave and the Manager at Cambian says that the supervised phone calls are at my daughter’s request and will continue until further notice.

It is Xmas next week and normally I would have shared having Elizabeth between myself and the rest of the family.  There were never any arguments above this at all.  However this year is unique as I am not allowed to have my daughter – apparently she is supposed to be too ill but then what are the top people at Cambian and Enfield thinking of.   If someone is ill it is beneficial to be home amongst the family.  Both Cambian and Enfield Mental Health have shown an abnormal way of thinking however I think a lot of this had to do with the psychiatrist Dr A W who went off on maternity leave.  Perhaps now she will know how it feels to be a mother as her treatment of me has been absolutely apalling and not in line with the way the rest of the family are treated.  She has used her powers against me with the agreement of Enfield Mental Health no doubt and the rest of the team have no choice but to go along with this and this is where more investigation needs to be done at top level.  It is the people at the top who spoil everything and give everyone a bad name but I know only too well that this decision is coming from the top and I decided to make it as nice an occasion as possible for Elizabeth. 

I rushed out in the morning to do shopping and then cooked food for a buffet and did hot and cold food.  I enjoy doing this sort of thing as it is nice to see people.  Trouble is the pace of life around here in London makes it difficult and the fact I work full time.  So, I went to pick up the gift I got for Elizabeth in the town –  a while back I had photos taken of her and she looked very nice and I made some of these photos into a calendar.  I gave a cheque to Cambian so that they could take her out shopping which is something that I would have done and miss doing myself.

There was huge traffic on the roads and Elizbeth did not arrive until gone 2pm by which time most of my friends had arrived.  These are people that have known Elizabeth for a very long time, like when she was a little girl.  I noticed that Elizabeth had brought some things with her including a child’s toy car.  These mind altering drugs have the effect of making someone go back to childhood.  I did not comment because I have also seen that Elizabeth will buy babyish toys and nothing like what she would at once time have bought.  I did too much food and her younger sister put on some up to date music.  The staff were very very nice who bought her.  I do not have a problem with the nursing staff except of course some at the Bethlem who was very unprofessional in the way that they behaved.  These nurses clearly looked surprised and Elizabeth seemed to enjoy herself and was very pleased to see her pet kitten and has grown a lot.  All too soon the day had ended and at around 5 pm the nurses had to say it was time to leave but I could see the expression which was one of sympathy but what can you do when you have to deal with the heartless people at the very top. 

I am going to ask this same question to Mr Jeremy Hunt.  In fact they can all get a letter and a piece of my mind as I have listened to Mr Clegg – it is about time he listens to me and the others too.

I cannot believe I will not see Elizabeth for the first time ever on Xmas Day.  Xmas Day is on a Tuesday and this is a day I am not allowed to ring. 

People who have known me a long time and my daughters were very shocked at the way I have been treated.

I am not looking forward to Xmas Day without Elizabeth this year.

I had called in to Harrods in the hope they could provide me with something collectible to auction with regard to the alternative care centres that I would like to see set up in the UK to provide decent humane care not only for my daughter but for many others.  Many people are in despair with the current care available and acute wards are not good places to recover – they should only be used short term at the very least not for periods of up to 2 years or more.  It is no wonder patients do not get better and also to make it easier for the staff this is why they drug the patients up with chemicals and raise the dosage on admission.  The atmosphere can be tense and volatile and can be very disturbing for someone who is extremely vulnerable.  There are members of staff who are dismissive towards patients and sit in their office ignoring a patient who is knocking at the window for attention.  I do not think these wards are safe either especially if they are mixed wards.

Anyway, Harrods were helpful and I ended up doing some Xmas shopping there as well and then just down the road at the Ecuadorian Embassay there were huge crowds gathering and international press lined the road in expectation.  Mulled wine was being served and demonstrations were chanting in support.  I was not standing in the best location to see Julian Assange but he spoke loudly and clearly and the message of his speech was given with clarity and was most interesting to hear.  I listened to some of the conversation in the crowd – six months he has sought refuge at the Ecuadorian Embassy – he spoke of the importance of freedom of speaking out against injustice and mentioned specific cases.  I could not agree more that there is much injustice in the world and the press do not report things honestly at times. I admire someone who goes to lengths to fight for justice and reveals the truth about what is going on in the world.     Well, I can identify with that and I wanted to present to him a copy of my leaflet to show that there are many people under a life sentence with the shocking mental health care currently available and that does not just apply to the UK either.    What do you get when you speak out –  you get banned!  You get labelled and comments are written about you behind your back which I have seen in previous files.  I dread to think what the latest files contain.  What is even worse in my daughter’s case is that these drugs are harmful to her long term health and I would like these drugs to be reduced in a proper and decent manner.   I want a proper assessment done by Dr Walsh and the reduction done just like Dr Ann Blake Tracy instructs on her CD.  I am not expecting her to come off the drugs completely however nothing has been done properly –  I cannot accept a diagnosis when promised a drug free period of assessment and the reduction was 150mg off Seroquel then a mixture of Olanzapine introduced.  This whole hospital the Bethlem Royal Hospital has done things in a very deceitful manner and they get money from it.  Experimentation on weak and vulnerable patients and sanctions imposed when their reductions cause adverse behaviour – then of course it is law that they can force someone to take the drugs.  They should pay for people to be human guinea pigs and not use vulnerable patients in such a way.    I am waiting for an explanation as to why my daughter’s face was covered in bruises in that hospital.  It is not good enough to say “I am happy with that” or “what day did that occur”.  The latter I could answer exactly as I wrote about it on my blog and as for the lead nurse saying I am happy well I as a mother am far from happy.  There could have been an innocent explanation –  however at a hospital where they drug patients up like zombies to their hearts content I as the nearest relative that they tried to dismiss need answers to these questions.  I do not expect to know everything but it is ridiculous the way they try to cover up and all stick together and then they try to make out that I am aggressive and nasty.  What chance could I have against such a big team who copy in so many people in so many roles to my emails.  I am still waiting for a reply from Gus Heafield (CEO) to my recent email.   The only time you can get to speak to these people who hide behind their desks is if you go to the Annual General Meeting and this is worth going to.  Otherwise it is impossible to get to speak to any of these people.  I would personally like to speak to Dr James MacCabe and Professor Taylor about the shocking research papers I have seen.  The consultant psychiatrist said my daughter was in good hands and that I should sit back and let them get on with the care.  This is laughable.  I told him that I was not the type to sit back and do nothing and that I had done extensive research and had been in touch with experts.

Anyway, on Saturday my daughter is coming home – I am going to make it a pleasant occasion.  I will not be seeing her for the first time ever at Xmas.  I have not seen her for while either.  She is being brought down by two members of staff from Cambian and she has already been brought down to see her grandparents on a separate occasion.  It is a while since I have seen her as it is too far for me to go down at weekends as I work full time as well plus I have strict restrictions on how long I can see her and it has always been with a member of staff standing over and listening to every word, no doubt with orders to report back to the consultant psychiatrist who is probably looking for a reason to ban me altogether from contact.  When I ask what the reason is I never get a proper answer.

I have a missed call in my phone from my daughter recently but mainly I have text messages that she misses me, misses her cat, is looking forward to coming home – I had one that she prayed she would be allowed to see me over Xmas.  If someone is so ill they cannot come and stay because of this then why on earth bring her down and take her back in just one day – this is not fair treatment.  However Cambian have said she requests supervised calls for instance.   If my daughter has said these things, she has said them when she is drugged up to her neck on Clozapine which is notorious for sedation and can enhance confusion in patients. 

I can only think that they do not want me to see how she is when she has taken this drug along with the Metformine which is not being given as it is supposed to be given but off label for weight loss which Dr Ann Blake Tracy has told me – most likely being given to counteract diabetes.

If someone is treatment resistant then it means they have failed and if the care has failed then the least the drugs companies should do is to chip in and provide the likes of my daughter with a choice but there is no choice in the UK – whereas there are some places like Earth House in the States for alternative care and in Finland in Tornio where they have unique care.  I would love to send my daughter to these places – if only.  The care in the UK reminds me of the pushing of drugs given to Michael Jackson.  However, this is under the NHS and this does not make sense when they are short of money and yet waste it on all these drugs that do not even work and then it is a drain on resources when a patient ends up suffering from a serious condition as a result of these chemicals.  Cambian is continuing with all that and has not attempted to make the slightest bit of a reduction.  It would seem that all these experts do not have a clue how to do a reduction properly and at the Maudsley I made sure that I brought in all the information I could because I am a Gold Member of the International Drug Awareness Coalition governed by Dr Ann Blake Tracy who  has given me such wonderful advice and thanks to her I have been able to pass this advice on to other professionals although at the Bethlem this was not appreciated at all.     However, there is a new psychiatrist who has replaced one who clearly did not like me at Cambian and I have yet to see if things will improve.  He at least seemed to listen to me and did not turn around and say no when I mentioned about Dr Walsh and his assessment but it is too early to say for sure yet.  He even referred to “if I was paying for that – he could not see any problem or words to that effect”  – Lets see in the New Year what will happen and I hope and pray this new psychiatrist will be kinder and listen to my daughter and work with myself as Nearest Relative.  He did say that he was keen to liaise with family whereas the other one was dismissive and disliked me from the beginning. 

Nick Clegg has been in the news recently regarding reforms that will allow mental health patients to choose their Consultant Psychiatrist.  It will encourage psychiatrists to relate more to their patients for a start but unfortunately this will not come into effect until 2014 and something should be done now.   However such is the manipulation going on that if a patient is on a high level of drugs, they would simply not have the capacity to ask for anything let alone a better psychiatrist so I fail to see how on earth this will benefit the likes of my daughter.

Nick Clegg’s other comments relating to legalisation of drugs made me horrified.  I can see why some people feel that why not because the Government is missing out on revenue and to target the dealers.  However, nearly all the sons/daughters of people from my carer’s support group have been on Cannabis (Elizabeth took no drugs by the way to my knowledge).  Without realising it they could be taking a much stronger version of – Skunk)  However, with all these people who have experimented with drugs such as Cannabis they are now suffering from mental illness and end  up on acute wards causing strain to already stretched services and at huge cost to taxpayers especially when the care is not working in so many cases and the same patients return time and time again to the hospital for further treatment of drugs and more drugs.  Once on these drugs you cannot just come off them.  How much is this costing the NHS to push all these drugs at the patients and long term when that patient suffers from diabetes etc then further strain on the system?  It is all wrong in my opinion.

The biggest drug pushers of all are the NHS and huge profits go to the pharmaceutical industry  for drugs that are passed as being “safe” but in fact are highly dangerous – not everyone gets on with these drugs and that is where something should be done.    Prof Healy documents the scandal going on in his book Pharmageddon.  Having seen the effects of these drugs on my daughter  he is quite right.   In cases like the current shootings it is not always documented that anti-depressants/anti-psychotics are behind such incidents.  When I challenged the Sun Newspaper yesterday the person I spoke to on News Desk put the phone down on me when I mentioned as to why they had not looked into whether anti-depressants were behind this shocking news.  The Sun could not stand any criticism of their article so it would appear –  focus is placed on the person who committed the crime and family background and reasoning from this point of view.   If someone is on prescribed drugs and suffering  from Akathisia nothing is said or done – this is kept quiet from the public the dangers of these drugs and how they affect serotonin reuptake.  When someone is unstable suffering from Akathisia (a direct result of the prescribed drugs) that person is ignored – staff stay away for health and safety reasons.  There is supposed to be a crisis team but they stay away for the most part.  The only way to get someone into hospital is to have them arrested or to persuade someone to go in voluntarily.  Quite often you cannot persuade someone as they are beyond reasoning.   This person could once have been placid and calm and law abiding, working and doing all normal things but the introduction of such a drug causes that person to change completely – I have no doubts that the drugs could be behind this behaviour and it is nothing to do with so called diagnosis. You only have to look at DSM 5 to see there is a diagnosis for everyone and that this is all in aid of profits.   I believe a breakdown is caused by trauma – bullying is a huge factor.  Rape and abuse also can contribute but so can many other things such as the loss of someone close in a family.  Drugs are not the answer as they do not help that person come to terms with what has happened and therapy should be given instead of pushing and forcing drugs. 

I believe the Government make plenty of revenue out of the prescribed drugs as it is –  I speak of  the Royal Bethlem and their experimentation on the weak and vulnerable who get the funding for it..  Drugs can lead to further addictions.  Some people I know thought they were taking Cannabis when in fact it was skunk so legalising the drugs can lead to more people than ever suffering from mental health problems and any profits made will be wasted on healthcare as someone suffering from mental  illness is frequently admitted into hospital where the treatment is yet more and more drugs. 

Nick Clegg and Mr De Bois say nothing about the psychiatric drugs that are legally pushed  on people like my daughter against their wishes when they should have had decent humane therapeutic care in the first place.  On the occasions when I have met with Mr De Bois he  has said he cannot help me and he has met Elizabeth too.    Yet Mr De Bois is speaking out about illicit drugs and that a prison sentence is not right, that help is required.  What about help for the likes of my daughter then.  What about the never ending prison sentences of mental health patients trapped in a system for years on end when they are of no danger to society and they are forced to take drugs on treatment orders that can last for years and years on end.  Mr De Bois said he could not help regarding this healthcare and praised the professionals however as you can see from my blog not all professionals behave in a decent  manner and some can use powers against you if they do not like you.  Mr De Bois referred me to the PHSO who are inundted with complaints and have closed my case time and time again.  It is a pity Mr De Bois and Nick Clegg do not suggest a new approach such as Soteria and I especially like the ideas of the Root and Branch Project.  It is a pity both Mr De Bois and Clegg do not talk about reforms in the law to stop abuse like the Jimmy Saville case going on  as mental health patients are particularly vulnerable –  there are many more cases like this and I am still waiting to hear from the Bethlem why my daughter’s face was covered in bruises and to think I had to tell them the date! 

I would like to see Mr De Bois and Mr Clegg take more interest in the mental health issues and listen to what the patients have to say and carers such as myself, some of whom are from top professional backgrounds and have sons/daughters trapped in a totally inhumane system of mental health care where abuse is rife.  There are no decent professional organisations to turn to if you have a complaint and that is why cases like Jimmy Saville go unheard of for years on end and there plenty more cases of abuse  they should both come to one of my group meetings and see for themselves what the patients have to say.  They should also look at the facts that if patients get proper  decent care they will not be a drain to the NHS and taking up beds on acute wards and acute wards should only be used short term and for crisis only.  

I have featured the Root and Branch Project in a previous blog and I believe a new approach needs to be taken.  How about getting this set up Mr Cameron, Mr Clegg and Mr De Bois!  With the money the Governments gets from all the drugs pushed at mental health patients they should invest on Soteria, Root and Branch and Chy Sawel so that patients can have even more choice – not just choice in psychiatrist but choice in where to go for their care as it is not the answer always to just keep dumping people back into care in the local area.  Sometimes someone needs to move out from the local area either have a break or make a fresh start.

Mr De Bois and Mr Clegg and Mr Cameron should be looking at the way the law is that allows psychiatrists powers to act against you if they do not like you and this contravenes human rights laws.  The open dialogue approach is good and available in Finland.  I wish I could send my daughter to Tornio Finland or they should get Soteria set up or any one of these projects mentioned above. 

I have been busy over the weekend and had some friends over for dinner which was nice.  The weekend has come and gone so quickly but there is not a day when I do not think about Elizabeth and wonder what she is doing, hoping that she is being looked after nicely but unfortunately, Elizabeth’s prayers will not be answered this Xmas.  She is not being allowed home for unescorted leave and I heard when I listened to a voice mail at the end of the day that I have been allocated just 2 hrs some three days before Xmas and Xmas Day falls on the Tuesday on a day when I am not allowed to phone because of Cambian’s demands for supervised phone calls.

Cambian have not responded to my email which I sent about 3-4 days ago in which I asked them what they had against me.   I have hardly seen my daughter since she got transferred to Wales within about a day leaving no time to even say goodbye.  I know for a fact she wanted to come home – what gives this hospital and team the right to destroy things for everyone at Xmas. 

My younger daughter is devasted as she does not know if she will be around that day as she has a job that involves working weekends.     

The fact of the matter is they are treating me like a criminal by giving only escorted leave.  When I asked what their concerns were – did they want character references etc.  Did they not trust me?  all these questions resulted in comments such as “its not that”  – then what is is then –  I would like Cambian Four Star Wards and Enfield Mental Health to make a public statement to the world as to why they are doing this and wrecking everything this Xmas.  It is the ultimate punishment on their part because they simply do not like me and that is what it boils down to.  From the word go they have tried to replace me, excluding me out and I believe they also excluded her solicitor.  

“you are still my Mum, I will call the police on them”   Well this has made me think of my former application and perhaps I could reconsider as I feel something needs to be done about the care situation. My treatment by this team is a far cry from the training I was receiving during my police course in terms of respecting other people and not discriminating against anyone.

I am so devastated as Xmas is usually a very happy time I look forward to and it will be quiet and empty without Elizabeth who has not been home for so long now.  There has never been trouble or incidents with her at Xmas – why are they so worried now when I had to deal with the most adverse behaviour prior to her transfer away from the local area.  No-one cared then so why now?  What are they worried about?    Why have they not replied to my email and correspondence and phone calls are third party with someone else phoning me and not the manager.

 There is huge emphasis on control at Cambian Four Star Wards and I have not even met this doctor who has used her powers against me and the rest of the family destroying everything for everyone this Xmas.    Enfield Mental Health must know all along what is going on as they are paying for such care which must be a huge amount of money however, the care on their shocking wards left a lot to be desired too with an incident on practically every single ward – I would not wish for Elizabeth to return to Enfield Mental Health wards either.

 I am so devasted about Xmas that I cannot think what to do next as yet about this situation. 

Here is the message from my daughter which I have by text sent to me on Monday 3rd December. This message puts in dispute that Elizabeth only wants supervised phone calls when in fact she has been contacting me unknown to the team.  Elizabeth also wrote that she would ask the Manager at Cambian to see if she could see me at Xmas.  I then got a reply from Cambian – an email saying that they understood that the time available and agreed by the TEAM that I could ring my daughter ie 6.00 pm on a Monday could be re-arranged to a more suitable supervised slot once a week.  I have not as yet responded.  I am too upset to respond to a team who have treated me like a criminal from the very beginning.   A team who do not care at all about other people’s feelings, a team who have gone out of their way to manipulate my daughter and got rid of her existing solicitors.  I have not even the strength right now to complain about them but how on earth did they ever win the title of Best Care Provider in the Private Sector with the likes of Roger Black at their award winning do. 

The psychiarist Dr A W clearly did not like me from the word go and even referred to my past behaviour – God knows what kind of things have been written behind my back by the Bethlem and team.  I have never even met this psychiatrist and now this psychiatrist has gone off on leave for maternity but she has clearly gone out of her way to try and interfere with my daughter’s choice in terms of family arrangements and has ruined Xmas for the family especially myself and my younger daughter and I will never never forget what this psychiatrist has done.  I know for a fact that the rest of the team go by what the so called professional doctor has to say and she was very pro the Maudsley and called it a world-wide leading renowned hospital.  It was far from this – it was a research hospital where in fact they experiment on the weakest and most vulnerable people making huge money out of the funding provided by major drugs companies – whilst there could be an innocent explanation, bearing in mind the cruel laws of this country that allow such abuse to go on in the name of profit for these major drugs companies who instead of paying for people to take part in their clinical trials do so at their hearts content with the likes of people like my daughter.  Once drugged up and messed about with high dosages of drugs they are like “putty in their hands” and Dr James MacCabe and Prof Taylor have a lot of answer for and so does the Consultant Psychiatrist who she was under.  The pharmacist sat there smugly smiling throughout meetings until I pulled her up.  I was told to sit back, relax and leave everything to the professionals but what did they do-  three more drugs were introduced and one given off label for diabetes Type II.  It would seem if you dare to speak out against their shocking so called “care” you get treated as a criminal and human rights go out the window.  It is a cruel world and we are supposed to live in a civilised country in the UK but I have not got a good word to say about the UK and its care for the mentally ill.  There is much abuse going on and nothing is done.  Here is an example of what is being done by the CQC in their letter to me of the 05th December.

The letter has the reference 4/4/12/54.   The signature is totally illegible.  All it says is Information & Advice Officer with a scrawl of a signature.  This is a Government funded organisation the CQC that are supposed to investigate complaints and it would appear have done nothing.  I am waiting to hear from them in regard to my complaint on why my daughter’s face was covered in bruises.  For all I know she could have been beaten up by members of staff.  Who knows what goes on behind closed doors.  Maybe she refused to take her drugs and that is what they did to her.  I have no proof at the end of the day.  The reason my daughter’s face was covered in bruises could be one of many.  Perhaps she upset another patient – there could be an innocent explanation but it certainly looks suspicious especially when the ward manager had to ask me when this occured and I was able to tell her on the exact date this happened because keeping a record of this through my blog is very beneficial.  I was quite frankly shocked at the extent of the bruising.  Another reason is perhaps my daughter did that to herself!  One thing is for sure having experienced the extremel cruelty of the staff of the Fitzmary II Ward who have a blog by a former patient dedicated to them – anything is possible.  Whilst visiting the ward the patients told me that they were not happy –  they said things like their human rights were being abused.  What have the CQC done about this?   The CQC are an organisation who are not interested if you turn to them and tell them your daughter or son is being abused.  They are not interested in individual cases at all but I pointed out to them that there were many on the ward complaining of their rights.  In fact I know someone in hospital at the moment complaining of their rights but the CQC could not care less and send out a letter with a scrawl of a signature you cannot read to cover their backs and pass the buck to organisations who are already inundated with complaints such as the PHSO who have shut down my case on several occasions.  The letter states as follows:

“I have received a copy of the letter summarising the outcome of the investigation into your complain, you can contact the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman Office (PHSO) within the next 12 months saying why you are not satisfied. The Ombudsman can investigate complaints that the NHS (or NHS funded care) in England have failed to act properly or fairly or provided  a poor service.

The Mental Health Act also grants the Care Quality Commission (CQC to consider an investigation. 

The PHSO is the final abiter in any complaint matter and therefore the CQC cannot consider any request for investigation once the Ombudsman has either completed or declined an investigation into your complaints.

Both the CQC and PHSO have failed miserably to do anything for my daughter.  It is a complete and utter waste of time going to either of them and in my opinion they should both be shut down.  It is a waste of taxpayer’s money to fund organisations that allow abuse to continue under mental health care and get away with earning big salaries for doing nothing at all.

The only way you can get someone to listen to you is if you are prepared to pay thousands to take matters to court.  To think taxpayer’s money is being wasted in such a big way on the likes of these organisations is horrendous and then on one occasion they came back to me that the care was “satisfactory” – this was an occasion where two firms of solicitors had outrightly said they were negligent at Enfield and yet the PHSO came back with the words “satisfactory”.  This was when my daughter went missing – I have all the files in this case and this points to negligence yet still they try and defend the care by saying the words “satisfactory” – it is only when a programme like Panorama gets hold of a particulare case of abuse that they do their job from what I see. 

It was truly shocking what happened to my daughter at that time and I was told by a nurse “no harm done” but I believe the opposite.I was ready to take them to court and this has been one of many shocking incidents that have happened to her over the past years leading to her decline some of which occurred on the wards themselves.

Now of course the team are desperate to get rid of me in any way they can because I have been outspoken and for no other reason.  They simply have no other grounds and I know will go out of their way to try and reason as to why it is not beneficial for my daughter to see me but in fact they are protecting their own backs.    I realise that they may try all sorts of tricks such as say that I myself am mentally unstable myself and that it is being done for my daughter’s safety –  How can this be?  I work full time – I was up until recently training to be a police officer –  I most certainly am not mentally unstable but I certainly would question the stability of some of the psychiatrists involved –  I question how they are desperately trying to defend their jobs in light of the increasing amount of professionals who are willing to honestly speak out and state that the drugs are not the answer and that cases should be looked upon individually In addition they cannot accuse me of trying to take her off the chemicals as I am not a doctor and she would need professional help in order to do this however it is not impossible and can be done in the right environment but in this uncaring country there is nothing and patients end up feeling in a hopeless situation and no longer caring what happens to them.   If my daughter had had the drug free period of assessment I would have been ready to accept the diagnosis however I know for a fact you cannot take someone off 150mg off Seroquel in just 2 weeks and not expect some kind of adverse reaction and then of course that is how they justifiy the sanctions they impose and these very sanctions are preventing me from seeing my daughter at Xmas.  I have asked time and time again for their reasons but they say nothing. 

You do not know how bitter I feel about this.  I am happy to go out of my way now to try and get the much needed funding to see groups like Soteria set up that give kinder care and consideration to the mentally ill.  There is not one single place int the UK set up and that is apalling.  In America there are centres such as Earth House – why not here?  Why could not one place be set up as a pilot scheme to see how it works.  It certainly works in Finland in a place called Tornio where I desperately tried to contact people to see if there was any way I could send my daughter over there to have decent care. 

As I have said before I am trying to raise the money.  I have approached two London football clubs so far- Chelsea  and Arsenal.  Hope to contact West Ham and Spurs to to see if I can get players’ signatures on tee-shirts which I am prepared to pay for to auction on Ebay in one big auction to see if I can raise the money for one if not all of three centres called Soteria, Chy Sawel and Root and Branch Project to be set up to provide humane care for my daughter and many people like her trapped in a never ending prison environment (some of whom have no voice and no family to speak up for them) they never get better because the only cure is drug pushing and that does not cure someone who for instance is a rape or abuse victim and only provides profit for the pharmaceuticals who in my opinion should be doing something to help the many “treatment resistant” patients by getting them reduced gradually and off these harmful drugs.  The fact they label someone as being treatment resistant says it all – it means they have failed – failed to treat someone effectively, failed to address the underlying reasons for the decline in their mental health and have done so by the easy route by pushing drugs and nothng else which is clearly not the answer.   It is also failure that a so called civilised country such as the UK do nothing to stop the abuse going on right now and see the only cure as drugs which of course bring huge profits to the pharmaceutical industry which in turn have close association with the Government.  With all the money the Government waste why could they not at least try such a scheme based on the care available in Finland.

I wish I did not live in this cruel country.  I so much want to leave and take Elizabeth with me to anywhere in the world where she can have the right kind of care.  A care that is humane and kind and addressed individual needs.

CAN ANYONE HELP ME PLEASE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE AS THEY ARE KILLING MY DAUGHTER?

I received several text messages on Monday from Elizabeth.  She told me she was spending Xmas with her Dad and he apparently has bought a new cat.  I then asked did she not want to come home to see the cat that I bought her and to see myself and her sister to which she responded that she would ask.  She also wrote about the fact she was reading the Bible and I think she was excited about Xmas. 

 It is a long time since Elizabeth has been home and when I could see the shocking Bethlem hospital were not doing the promised drug free assessment and the Section 2 had come to an end I did try to get her out of there.  I found out when the Tribunal was and got time off from work but the solicitor recommended by the hospital said “do you really want to go through with this.  Elizabeth was unhappy about meetings etc and backed down and it was a complete waste of time.  Unfortunately there was her chance gone – her chance to get off the section and at a time when she was not unstable and just on the Olanzapine.  I still thought that the social worker who was very good at the Bethlem could have got her into somewhere good in a better area than where we live as he had discussed with me about where she could first go into Rehab.  Bearing in mind some events that happened prior to admission I was keen that she did not end up on the wards of Enfield Mental Health once again.  I wanted her to make a fresh start really so that she could hopefully get on with her life and be happy and there were too many bad memories locally.  Suddenly this social worker went off sick unfortunately – he was about the only member of staff there I truly trusted and the only social worker I have come across under the mental health who was good.  Anyway the next thing was they wanted to get rid of me as nearest relative and actually drew up court papers to this effect leaving me with no chance to get a solicitor because I did not agree with the Section 3 at all.  The fact that things were not done properly led to sanctions being taken against Elizabeth as you simply cannot come off 150mg of Seroquel over 2 weeks it was the consultant psychiatrist’s fault in my opinion.  In addition, mixing a drug with another can cause someone to become unstable and this is what happened and she was so disorientated that the next thing she was put on a drug with the initials M (metformine) and then Clozapine unknown to her.  So, before the Section 3 I was suggesting she remained first of all as a voluntary patient until the social worker found decent rehab care as I did not feel the area where I livewas the best thing for Elizabeth at the time because of recent serious incidents and the fact that the scheme certainly would not have been a place to return to that would be safe for Elizabeth.  However, when I saw what this hospital (Bethlem) did and the way I got bullied, I did not want for the Section 3 to go ahead and felt that this team could not be trusted at all in the way that they behaved .  I desperately wrote directly to the Judge herself to explain my situation but was worried about being replaced as the Nearest Relative as I was the one who did most of the visiting and had researched all these chemicals plus taken expert advice –  I knew they wanted desperately to replace me with someone who would just go along with everything without any conflict ie., her father.   I was also seriously considering in desperation and despair having Elizabeth home especially after I saw what they did with all those drugs in such a deceitful and despicable manner but by this time she would have needed a nurse to care for her as she could hardly walk once put on the Clozapine and was in a bad way. Still home would havge been better than the shocking Bethlem. 

Anyway, getting back to the messages – one said “I pray I will see you at Xmas, Mum”.  (Well, the letter from the consultant psychiatrist of Cambian clearly said escorted leave only and that she is too unstable to stay over Xmas).  I do not believe these comments at all. 

The next message from Elizabeth read that she would ask about Xmas leave and I thought to myself – that is a waste of time judging by the letter I received shortly before.  After she had asked, I got another email but from the Manager of Cambian.  The Manager wanted to speak to me but whilst at work it is difficult and the message came through her receptionist.  I later responded stating it would be best to correspond in writing as I was in an open plan office and could not speak.  When I got home from work I wrote to her and asked some questions which I am still waiting for the answers to.  The message was about the supervised phone calls once a week that I am allowed.  I think she wanted to alter the time of this phone call I stated that 6 pm  was not good as I travel home from work then.   I have not been phoning at all because I do not feel comfortable having supervised phone calls and besides Elizabeth has been texting me even though the team do not seem to want me to have any contact with her other than supervised/escorted leave.

After I received that last letter about the time of the phone call  I immediately thought I must act and do something because more than ever  I would like Soteria, Chy Sawel and Root and Branch project set up and the Goverment does not care less so again I thought of my auction which I propose to do to raise money for these projects.  I have thought of collectible items and am waiting to hear from various sources if they can help me.  Of course I do not mind paying for some of the things but things like autographs are collectible items and I read that Ebay say these sort of things do well in an auction.      

I do not know yet whether I will get the signatures I need but it is worth a try.

Last of all today I got another phone call and this was when at work.  I will report later on this as I do not know what this is all about yet.

Despite the ban on me phoning Elizabeth she has been in touch with me although the messages have been very brief and today I got a couple of messages that just said the word “OK”.  I wanted to phone her and speak to her but know that this would not be allowed by the team of Cambian Four Star Wards.  I did not know what she meant by “OK” so I wrote back briefly by text. 

I do not know what is going on because noone has telephoned me or written.  I am finding that at Enfield they say they do not know what is going on at Cambian and vice versa yet I am sure they must all be in touch and ought to know what is going on.  This reminds me of the care in the community where the team at the mental health housing were not informed what was going on by social services so it appeared. 

ttp://t.co/u3U27zfs

http://t.co/apEGBDr5

I am always very interested to hear what a growing number of specialists think and I especially admire people like Dr Ann Blake Tracy and Professor Healy amongst others.  The above links  are connected to Professor Healy and I would like to see him involved in my daughter’s case as you cannot dismiss the honesty of his comments or the wonderful book Prozac Panacea Pandora.  It is people like Professor Healy who give me hope.

I was pleased to get those messages from Elizabeth today and I have just heard from her sister that she telephoned the other day but the phone was not working and she had to go through the office.  I believe that Elizabeth is being brought down to this area but nothing has been said to me and so I doubt any visit will be made home and for the first time ever Xmas will be not the same at all. 

I cannot see any court cases happening before Xmas either.

Many people who know me personally have commented on how nasty the whole situation is.  The reason I want to make a stand is because I know of other people in the same situation or similar.  Some families have been torn apart because of this kind of situation.

Today I have been out shopping.  I have been doing some cooking as I have some guests from Italy.  I was meant to visit someone at the Bethlem Hospital but feel so drained and tired.  The whole situation is definitely affecting my health but my job keeps my mind off things.  I try not to think too much about this awful situation as there is nothing I can do right now.

During the past week I have had no phone call or response from either Cambian or Enfield Mental Health.   Elizabeth’s sister has not been able to get through on the phone at all.  It is the weekend and I have been trying to think what to do as I most probably will not be seeing my daughter for the first ever time at Xmas.  I object to having an escorted visit when  her father has had an unescorted visit and I do not know what is going on but then noone bothers to communicate with you. 

Despite feeling tired and drained I went up to the local town today to try and think what to get Elizabeth and bearing in mind I think she may be kept in  hospital I was planning to get some things delivered.  Things such as the wonderful food I have seen in Whole Foods in Kensington near where I work and Marks & Spencers do nice food and clothes.  I am thinking of placing some orders. 

I thought today of  having some photographs made into a calendar and this is costing me a lot as I am an honest person and it would be against copyright if I were to just take an album I had done and do this cheaply myself at a shop like Boots.  However, it is costing me hundreds.  It will be nice as at least my daughter will have something to remember – a day when she was very happy when I took her to have hair and makeup done followed by a photography session and of course she was in  hospital at the time locally. 

I had planned to go to the main shopping areas of London to try and find something collectible but the only chance I have working full time is after work which is late,  but have been too tired this week – maybe next week as I am still keen to do my auction and I think that something signed by a celebrity would be a good thing but I do not know any to ask.  I may ask the local football teams are something like this would be very collectible but I have no idea whether this request will be turned down.  I will keep trying in any case but I think I need something more to auction than what I currently have especially if I am asking for a huge donation – it is only fair that I try at least to get something else.

I have  missed my group meeting today because I had someone turn up to visit me.  The meetings always make me feel better.  I am totally inspired by some of the former patients who are determined to campaign for a better system in mental health.  

If only we had something available like in Finland in a place called Tornio.  I have already written to see if they would take Elizabeth as she constantly asks to go to Finland having spend several months there – these were happy and drug free times. Elizabeth never took drugs herself in the first place – the only drug pushing here has been from the team.

If only Soteria was set up over here and considering what waste of money is going on under this Government with loans to foreign countries being unpaid etc and wars where money is no object then it is a disgrace that this Government is not doing more to improve things in terms of mental health care.  In fact as I see it they do NOTHING.  Only Ed Milliband speaks up but- when is there going to be some action. 

I would like to display such a messageby laser beam onto a prominent building such as the Department of Health – if only!  This would get me attention and to think that Paul Burstow replied in a sympathetic way however he has done nothing to help – I want more than this now and I am getting impatient with them all – all of this is not helping my daughter and she needs somewhere to go where there is such a thing as humane healthcare and there is none from what I see.   I do not see the pushing of mind altering LSD like drugs at someone like my daughter who has multiple diagnoses as the answer – it is no wonder she is classed as being treatment resistant.  In cases such as these there should be a new approach and that approach can only be provided under groups like Soteria, Chy Sawel and Root and Branch Project.  I desperately need these set up as there should not be a care in place that is like a dictatorship and controlling every little thing and breaking up familiies such as at present just like a religious cult.  This is supposed to be a civilised country but I see that the UK is not civilised at all in how they care for the weak and vulnerable especially under mental health care. I am thinking seriously now like I did at the shocking prison environment of the Maudsley that she would be better of at home with a nurse living in to help.  I do not think though that the area is very good as it is London and noisy and stressful.  I hoped for so much when I found out about the holistic care under Welsh law but I do not think that anyone in the team is bothered about Elizabeth’s long term health.   The way I am being treated right now is terrible and I am being excluded from everything.  Still, I have no regrets but I understand that it is precisely because of the way I am being treated that this is why so many more unhappy parents and carers are too afraid to do this.     What I am doing is not only for my daughter but for everyone who does not have a voice right now and trapped in this shocking inhumane system.  Some have no parents or anyone who cares yet they are being held like prisoners on a never ending sentences.  A prisoner is treated better than a mental health patient who is completely stripped of their human rights and the law is an absolute disgrace in the UK.  The law is such that it is failing to protect the weakest and most vulnerable people in society and no-one seems to care about this – only those who have knowledge, who have been affected in some way either themselves or through having a family member who has had shocking care like my daughter.  The law needs to be changed that is for sure and so does the care in order to give choice to patients.  If a patient is happy being on the drugs then that is fine but there still n eeds to be the choice.

The last thing I heard was an email from my daughter’s social worker at Enfield Mental Health asking where the carers assessment was.  I have not completed this yet as I am waiting for information from them but hear nothing.   I wrote back and asked if she could tell me what was going on.  She has not done this and this is the new social worker appointed by Enfield Mental Health.  Around this time I then out of the blue got a phone call from Cambian but I did not pick the call up as I am at work and in an open plan office.  I later picked up the missed call but it is very difficult to speak at work and the last time was when I kept having to go out to take calls when bullied by the legal teams of SLAM and Enfield threatening to take me to court to get rid of me as Nearest Relative.  It was very embarrassing having to go out and upstairs time and time again to take the calls and then I asked them to email me instead and they emailed me with the court papers giving 1 day’s notice.  This time I asked Cambian if we could correspond by email as although I am at work, it is a  bit easier for me to do this than go upstairs to take calls.  Unfortunately I have heard nothing.

The Tribunal is not scheduled until after Xmas now by the looks of things.

I then got a letter from Cambian – Dr A W to say that she was not mentally stable to be allowed leave at Xmas however a week or so before this she was allowed out unescorted with her father.  There is definitely favouritism there as all along he has been included whereas I have been excluded and it is clear that this is personal and aimed at me by this consultant psychiatrist of Cambian Four Star Wards who is going off on maternity leave soon and could not care less about my daughter who was looking forward to spending Xmas with me. 

This doctor – doctor A W dislikes me and I could detect that in the one phone call and has made no effort to liaise with me and has gone out of her way to control and try to cut me out, manipulating my daughter.  She has upset not only myself but the younger sister of Elizabeth as Xmas is ruined thanks to this Consultant Psychiatrist.   Elizabeth would have also liked to  have seen her pet kitten but this will not be possible now.  I am allowed escorted access and there is no mention of any supervised phone call being allowed bearing in mind Xmas day is on a Tuesday.  I am sure this will upset Elizabeth  having to spend Xmas in hospital however it may be the case that they allow her to see her father instead which is an absolute infringement of human rights and I think that this doctor should make a public statement as to her reasons as I should have the right to defend myself and am happy to do that in front of the world as this sort of thing should not be allowed to go on. 

Unless there are grounds to point to abuse and neglect of that person there are no grounds to abuse someone’s human rights in my opinion.  Unless there are grounds to point the finger at me and say I am going to influence her in stopping the drugs and I have already stated I am not a doctor and could not do this, then what is the problem – it is personal dislike and totally unprofessional in my opinion.     I would not be writing and campaigning in public like I am doing if I had anything to hide, however I do know having read past files that they can question and put words into someone’s head who is already confused and mixed up on a high level of drugs.  Chemically brainwashing that person and stating that they have mental capacity is easy to do under their control.    I believe that this sort of thing should be stopped and questions placed on whether a doctor is abusing that patient in this manner and they say all sorts of things behind your back as well but I cannot say more about this at this stage or other things. 

To think that Cambian have had celebrities involved such as Ruby Wax so I understand who  has visited.  They won an award for Best Care Provider in the Private Sector recently yet they are not going by NICE guidelines. 

I had nothing but praise on reading the description of Cambian but then the solicitor that was recommended by Bethlem Hospital said “same as any other hospital” – now I know what she means and that is why the whole care system needs looking at and also care in the community because when someone has been in hospital as long as Elizabeth you cannot just adapt to life in the community without more one to one support especially if you are on a high level of drugs.  

I believe the section is unfair bearing in mind the high reduction that the consultant psychiatrist at Bethlem Hospital ordered.  Anyone would go downhill after this kind of reduction and that is when they imposed their sanction of a Section 3 and now this Section 3 is coming to an end it would seem that Cambian want to keep her for another 18 months. 

“I will call the police on them Mum – you are still my mum”

“you are overturning the apple cart mum”  –  these do not sound like the words of my daughter – her texts are short and brief.

Elizabeth has also said “if you are not careful you could lose me forever”  I hope that will not be the case but this is the kind of bullying that goes on with social services involved and a psychiatrist who does not like you.   They have made out that I am threatening and aggressive and nasty and have probably said all sorts of things behind my back – I have seen it all before in past files.  I do not care about what has been said but I do care about Xmas and what this hospital is doing to the family.

They have destroyed my happiness – they have gone against my younger daughter and deprived her from having her sister at home this Xmas and most of all they have destroyed Xmas for Elizabeth who will have to remain in hospital where she commented recently “I dont know what to do with myself, Mum – why did you put me here”.   I did not put her there at all she was placed by Enfield Mental Health.  I actually asked for her to come home but would need help as I work full time.  The area where I live is not peaceful so I thought Wales would be lovely for her and quiet but the care is all the same – about control and manipulation and they try to make out it is for protection.  Elizabeth said that they were protecting her but my thoughts are that they are protecting themselves and their interests.  I do not believe the team at Cambian have much choice but to go along with the Consultant Psychiatrist and I believe that a full investigation should be launched into this doctor and especially because of certain things I have heard.  

All of this points to the fact that urgent change needs to be brought to provide individual tailormade care per person.  A whole review needs to be looked at the way people are assessed and treated as being sub-human.  I have never seen so much cruelty going on as the drugs are not the answer and they actually cause psychosis and suicide (Dr Ann Blake Tracy – Prozac Panacea Pandora) – Dr Candace Pert – Molecules of Emotion.    Having been classed as being “treatment resistant” people like my daughter are being kept on highly dangerous drugs that do not work and there are no facilities within the UK where something can be done about this and also what about if there are serious health concerns to the person and they are experiencing terrible side effects.  The patient just gets ignored and that is care in the UK for you.

If only there were places like Earth House, Root and Branch, Chy Sawel and Soteria.   I am trying to find something collectible to auction and will put out an appeal for this.  I wish providing a meal and show and my gym 37 Degrees are donating a two week block pass.

There are so many other people in the same situation crying out for help right now and not being heard by this Government and yet so much money is wasted.  What is to lose by giving these organisations a chance – the care may not suit everyone but it is important to treat people like human beings and respect that they should have choice in care and there is no choice in care right now for the mentally ill.  Open Dialogue approach is working brilliantly in Finland – why cant Soteria be given a chance and the other organisations as there is big demand for such care.  I really hope that the New Year sees such change from the current cruel care where there is no choice but drug pushing and nothing in the way of therapy.  Money is wasted by the Government and such projects would not be a waste as it is highly expensive to keep someone on a ward for a long time and Elizabeth was on a ward for 2 years and now again long term –  this is clearly not the answer – it is a waste of taxpayers money as the care in the community and care thereafter is totally inadequate and I believe that patients should be  included and allowed to give peer support which is therapeutic to them as well as to a weaker patient.  I believe this is the way forward.