My daughter has sent me numerous text messages asking when I will be coming down to see her.

I did not see Elizabeth over the Bank Holiday however after the next Bank Holiday I have requested to visit Elizabeth and take her out as she has texted me asking to go to a Theme Park.  There are plenty of nice places to visit in Wales you are spoilt for choice but  am still waiting for consent from the Team governed now by the previous psychiatrist and have no idea whether such leave will be granted.   I have requested three times and have not had an answer.  A response requires a meeting apparently and this is taking place next week where Elizabeth will be quizzed by the team as to whether she really wants to go out with  me or not.  It does not matter if you have written proof by way of text message – a team can say the opposite and deny you the contact with your son or daughter as they see fit.  It is easy for them to do this under the Mental Capacit Act and of course a doctor can greatly influence a patient by putting them in such a position where they HAVE to agree and I do not believe the advocates are truly independent as from what I have seen at the Bethlem, Rethink were constantly used in such a way by the consultant psychiatrist and never once did they attend a daunting meeting involving about 9 professionals which I know that Elizabeth hated.  A patient can be made to feel terrible if a team gang up and they can be shown up in front of other patients.

So this is what my daughter said.

First of all she texted me back as I have requested her to come and stay with myself and younger daughter in a hotel for 1 night and this makes me feel that someone in the team has been speaking to her.     I do not believe the team at Cambian are at all happy about this one night in a hotel and I do not know what their problem is.  I would not wish to take Elizabeth out with me at all if I felt she was that unstable but I have no doubts that she is fine to come out but cannot walk far as she constantly feels dizzy and that is the effect of the Clozapine and high level of drugs she is on with Metformine being given by at 500mg.    To begin with even more drugs were being given but I had to complain about this when I heard Lorazepam was also given on top.

So, I have not received an answer from Cambian and will know next week what the outcome of my request is.  If the answer is “No” then my younger daughter will be devasted and extremely upset.  Already the family has been torn apart as I have documented by this team.

It will be interesting to see what happens next week as this psychiatrist is the one who has NEVER granted me any contact with my daughter apart from supervised/escorted visits. I do not think that this psychiatrist likes me at all from the way she has spoken to me and the things I have heard.  I hope that the personal feelings of this doctor do not get in the way of granting my daughter time to spend with me by trying to say that she has changed her mind.  Elizabeth has already indicated at the strict control there is under Cambian and certain members of the team have not been able to hide their feelings by the way they have reacted I feel not everyone agrees but are forced to agree.  The previous psychiatrist was wonderful and really nice –  this previous psychiatrist was just temporary and allowed me time with my daughter and always communicated effectively and personally rang me.   I much appreciated this as I have felt totally excluded by the team who have only communicated with the rest of the family and seem not to like me at all and I am not imagining things one bit in this respect.

Every visit, every contact with me so far Elizabeth has enjoyed and when I see my daughter I take her out for meals and go out of my way to make it nice.  I am not able to go down that often because of the distance.

The last visit not long ago was a home visit for the first time and this went well apart from the burglary at my house and Elizabeth was so happy to see her cat who she misses.   However, the rest of the family who were allowed to see Elizabeth on her Birthday whereas I was not, wanted to see her also and I could have said no to this to be fair.  I know that Elizabeth likes going to her grandmas and did not stand in her way but it meant that I had virtually no time with  my daughter and one night is not enough to travel all that way by car only to be collected the next morning by the team.  Still it was better than nothing and thanks to the previous psychiatrist.

I wish to share with you some disturbing comments:

“I have to watch my reputation, Mum”

“Please don’t cause me any trouble as things get back to me”

I get the picture!    so – if I disagree with the team in any way they go and speak to my daughter and tell what I have said or what I am doing.    It is terrible that a team is involving her and repeating anything that could be used against me to my daughter.  Elizabeth has shown signs of fear of going against the team who have control over my daughter.    This is what is going on at Cambian and not just Cambian but the NHS as well in places like the Bethlem.  All this and complete lack of communication is against what Norman Lamb and David Behan were saying as they were talking about inclusion of families not exclusion as this is a common thing in terms of confidentiality and capacity that a team can play on.   So if Norman Lamb and David Behan of the CQC state this then they should do something about it.

As a parent and carer I have every right to say what I think as I have listened to my daughter but then a team can turn around and say that you are interfering in the care.   It is not good when a patient is afraid to speak and tell people what is being said – this patient is made to protect the professionals  but Elizabeth has confided in her sister disturbing things against me that was evident to me all along in that it was not encouraged for her  to have contact with me and that was clearly the case as communication was definitely one sided and not only I felt that but legal professionals too.   When I have asked the Manager of Cambian “don’t you trust me”  I have not had an honest answer –  at one time this manager looked down at the floor and I have picked up on some body language of certain members of the team similar to this like when they brought Elizabeth down for just 3 hours and took her away despite the fact it was Xmas and she would have enjoyed Xmas to spend not only with me for one night but with the rest of the family.  Everyone I had invited to the little party was shocked and horrified by this treatment as it is inhumane.  Anyway I have the impression that within a team there are members that do not really agree but are forced to go along with whatever the Consultant Psychiatrist says or does.

So “I have to watch my reputation, Mum”  – I hope that my daughter is not made to stand out in front of other patients just because I happen to disagree with the whole system but still I have never suggested that Elizabeth stops taking the drugs and I suspect that is the main reason because they have not got a clue how to properly reduce anyone in any case.  As I am not a doctor I could not do this however if only there was decent care as I would like to see her on the minimal of drugs.  I wonder how that doctor would feel if this was a member of her family but Elizabeth is just another number to her and no one can possibly care as much as I do.    I would like to see a proper centre and care of a humane nature set up with proper assessments and holistic care such as Chy Sawel but that does not mean that I suggest she or anyone else stops taking the drugs.   This can only be done under the guidance of a professional doctor in the correct way described by Dr Ann Blake Tracy and combined with treatment by Dr William Walsh.    This cannot be done and I am not even a doctor to suggest this so what is this team panicking about –  it would seem that they suffer from a problem of anxiety!  What they completely fail is to put themselves in my position – how would they react in my shoes.  However, everyone should question that if someone can still remember shocking things that have happened that despite 14 mind altering drugs they have failed to erase such things then my question is –  what point is there in carrying on with such a treatment as the drugs are expensive and also not one of these doctors stops for a minute to think about the long term health of my daughter.  I know people who are deeply affected and then they become in need of care from the NHS that is already being drained of resources.  I am well aware that these drugs are highly dangerous and the risks are not properly explained.  You cannot just come off them but it is a complete lie to say you have to be on them for the rest of your life that is rubbish.   Like with any drug withdrawal has to be done very carefully and very very slowly –  there is no help in the UK at all but Dr Ann Blake Tracy is correct as I have seen the effects of drug withdrawal and NOT ONCE HAVE I SAID TO STOP TAKING THE DRUGS.   However help needs to be given for patients who are suffering terrible side effects – after all the leaflets say you should be able to turn to your doctor but when a patient does do this they just get ignored or get given more and more drugs or a different drug.

I must admit that at first I begged for my daughter to go to the private sector as I genuinely felt the care was failing my daughter at local level but I did not expect to be treated like a criminal by this team.

I got up to speak in front of lots of professionals at the Carers UK Conference and I told them how damaging it is to a family to be excluded.

“I will call the police on them, Mum – you are still my Mum”  –  these words speak for themselves and then you get the preferred family members telling someone who is very ill and involving the younger sister to keep quiet about a visit as only they were included and I was excluded.  I think this is very sad and that is why I would like a change and choices given to mental  health patients.  If a patient is held for 2 years in  hospital then how can they be expected to just get on with things in the community.   When a patient is drugged up –  the professionals job is to try and get them to do things to make themselves independent and this involves persuasion and to some point bullying.  It is not a case of being lazy on the patient’s part as how do these professionals or anyone come to that know how badly the drugs may be making that person feel.  Elizabeth suffered from lethargy and she was not eating well or living well but if someone is showing signs of decline to the point a team feel that there is any risk to themselves then that team will stay away leaving that person to decline to the point that further hospital admission is necessary or else the patient begs to go back on the ward in desperation.

I had a long chat with David Behan of the CQC – it was brilliant going to the Carers UK Conference.  Mr Behan seemed very interested in what I  had to say.  I also managed to hand a leaflet on my website to be passed to Norman Lamb and I hope I get that reply from the Minister’s Office as Carers UK contacted me to say that they wished to get in touch.

I feel so strongly about a change in the care system and I am sure that there are many members of very good nursing staff that would also like to see change but they are powerless to do anything because at the top there is intimidation.  However I am not intimidated by any of these powerful people and feel that it is the right thing to do to speak out if you wish to see wonderful changes and an end to a culture of bullying.

I think it is great that there is a blog by Mental Health Cop –  in relation to articles in the Evening Standard I do not believe that the Police should be completely blamed although I have to say that many patients do not have much good to say for them.   The patients should really be looking at the law –  the law is wrong – it is the law that fails to protect the patients and shelters professionals who distort the truth and reality.

Today I am meeting with a group of wonderful former patients.  None of them have had a good experience on the wards and yet they wish to help others and I admire this very much.  The group wish for Open Dialogue and this group could be helping by way of peer support.  My daughter would often respond more to someone as a “friend” rather than a bossy controlling member of staff – unfortunately this was what was lacking in  her original care.   The group also wish to bring to the public’s attention what is going on –  the fact is that many people are affected by mental health problems and personally I am not ashamed to bring this out in the open.  I also have plenty of positive things to say about such patients who are extremely brave enough to stand up for their rights.

Today no doubt we will be discussing the DSM 5 as there is a conference coming up shortly in London.

Normally on Bank Holiday weekends I would be planning some nice days out and things to do with Elizabeth but this weekend I will be spending mostly alone.  Others are working in the family and Elizabeth is miles away so that means booking in a hotel and driving a fair distance.   I am planning to go down towards the end of May but that is if the psychiatrist allows my visit and of course they can turn around and deny such contact but I wish for everyone to know that Elizabeth has been in touch with me and wishes to go to a theme park.  I have received text messages from her whilst at work but no one in the team has got back to me to confirm this and I have once again written but no reply has been received.    I feel sorry for Elizabeth as she will not see anyone from the family as far as I am aware and will no doubt be stuck on the ward – at weekends such as this usually there are usually staff shortages and staff are not able to take patients out – I wish I could employ someone but unfortunately Elizabeth is on a Section 3 which the team have all renewed for another six months behind my back.    At a time when supposedly Elizabeth had wanted supervised phone calls I have received text after text message which I can prove.  In addition she has told her sister that this is not true at all but she has also said that she feels forced and afraid to say no to the team.    In fact her very words are  “I will call the Police on them – you are still my Mum”.  This shows how damaging things can be when a team gang up against you and someone who is very ill is pulled in two directions and the consequences on the entire family.   It would appear I am not alone in being excluded with the excuse of capacity and confidentiality used by various teams so I heard at the Carers UK Conference.

Elizabeth would have enjoyed days out with me and all the nice things but to go down to Wales is not cheap and I cannot do this every week.  It is lovely though to get out of London occasionaly and I find the environment much nicer than in London and people are friendly there. London is not the best of places for m y daughter to recover as she now suffers from panic attacks and anxiety.

Whilst I am obviously against the drugs – I have seen my daughter become completely disabled to the point she could no longer do basic tasks, she has been experimented on so very much and force drugged by not only the team at Cambian but Bethlem, I would not ever advise her to stop taking them as I am not qualified and coming off a drug you need specialist help and there is nothing in the UK at present.    All I have done is listen to her and I have stuck up for her – to the team she is just another number but to me she is my daughter and watching her suffer with the most terrible side effects due to the drugs various doctors have pushed at her has been heartbreaking.   All along she has wanted the whole family included and yet the team say otherwise.  It is harmful to pull someone in two directions and to say nasty things about me behind my back and that is what has been going on and has got back to me via her sister.  I have also seen the content of past files as well to see what goes on and the team are well and truly protected by the law it would seem but much money is being wasted with the legal processes being unnecessarily drawn out by the team and I am sure that the public would be very interested in and this, particularly when the NHS accident/emergency departments and maternity wards are being closed.  The mental health is draining the system because at local level the care is all about drugs and very little else.  The acute wards are frightening places to be and in my opinion should only be used short term.  If something better was on offer like Chy Sawel then at least patients who keep returning to the ward time and time again will have some choice.

At  Carers UK Conference there was overwhelming support for carers in respect of the involvement of families more and a fresh look at the issues surrounding confidentiality to include, not exclude parents.    I realise in some cases this cannot be done however there are many decent parents who have not abused their sons/daughters that should be included to work closely with the team.  It is damaging for a patient to be influenced against the family and to think that in some cases professionals go by notes alone which may be inaccurate from a previous team instead of meeting with that person and keeping an open mind.  Obviously the professionals are mainly pro drugs and this is where I disagree and would like to see proper assessments first by Dr Walsh and then more humane care put in place with a special look at diet/nutrition/underlying health problems.  There are no grounds to justify a ban or the treatment I have received  because I am not  someone who would attempt to take my daughter off the drugs myself as I am not qualified to do so but I do not want my daughter’s life to be halved or for her to suffer long term health problems and so this is why I wish the correct facilities to be set up in the UK to give patients choice and to respect their human rights and that is why I would like to see Chy Sawel set up/Root and Branch.   There is nothing right now in the UK.  Chy Sawel/Dr Walsh  wish to train about 12 doctors in November and I believe that the Government should send someone along to this conference to see for themselves what they can do to help.   Last time my younger daughter got up to speak and she was given the drugs age 13 which had a terrible effect on her.     The drugs should not be given to children or to the elderly like my father.  They should not be given at all if a proper assessment has not been carried out in my opinion.

I hope that the above wonderful collection of videos gives an insight to professionals in respect of treatment which in my opinion is inhumane in the UK.  Forced drugging and Community Treatment Orders are cruel and evil and not everyone is a risk to the public.  The drugs themselves can cause psychosis as in the case of my daughter and withdrawal is not done properly in the UK.  Dr Ann Blake Tracy gives proper instructions and Dr William Walsh is hoping to conduct proper assessments here in the UK through Chy Sawel in November.   It is interesting to note that bullying plays a big factor in such an illness as I know for a fact.  Also trauma/abuse contributes to the development of Schizophrenia and it is not always the parents involved in such abuse.  All I know is the first cure was drugs in both my daughter’s cases given to a 13 year old at 1mg Rispiridal, given to my elderly father aged 90 – Seroquel, 14 mind altering drugs given to my elder daughter currently on a section miles away from home with multiple diagnoses and the latest – chronic treatment resistant.   It is wrong to say someone has to take the drugs for the rest of their lives however you cannot just come off them and there are no facilities to come off prescribed drugs safely in the UK.  Chy Sawel, Soteria and Root and Branch Project offer me some hope of getting the right treatment for my daughter but first I have to contest the section and the team have tried to manipulate the legal process in many ways.  Now I am just waiting for the date of this and the results of the tests to be sent to Dr Walsh.  I have had to seek treatment outside of the UK as there is nothing here and I hope that the Government listen – I hope I got the message across on behalf of lots of mothers whose son’s daughter’s are kept on never ending sections when they should be given the right kind of care that is not even available in the UK as yet.   The Government should support holistic care and choice for patients but nothing is being done.   Now the Minister’s office has asked to contact me through Carers UK.  I sincerely hope that they will listen and do something as how much is it costing to keep someone locked away on never ending sections.  It is wrong to point the finger at a mental health patient and say they are dangerous.  This is purely ignorant on the part of someone who just reads the negative press without looking into matters further and seeing that it has long since been known that these drugs are highly dangerous and can affect some people very badly and actually cause aggression or suicide and Dr Walsh details the five bio types of depression and the fact that these drugs can actually make someone worse.     Anyone sceptical of this should read Dr Ann Blake Tracy’s book Prozac Panacea Pandora,  Dr Candace Pert – Molecules of Emotion, Dr William Walsh, Nutrient Power, Professor David Healy Pharmageddon and there are many other experts who are now questioning these drugs and the treatment of mental health patients.  The drugs also cause long term health problems, diabetes etc and tremendous weight gain.  Patients are used as human guinea pigs at hospitals like the National Psychosis Unit and I spoke about this to the Chief Executive Officer, David Behan of the CQC – this is against NICE guidelines what is going on there.

http://www.nationalpsychosisunit.blogspot.co.uk/

I attended this all day conference yesterday and found it to be very good bringing together carers, professionals in NHS and social care, university researchers and the Rt Hon Norman Lamb who stood in for the Rt Hon Jeremy Hunt and Chief Executive Officer of the CQC, David Behan CBE.

Amongst the interesting information documents was Policy Plus brochure with the heading “Census shows rise of 600,000 carers since 2001.

Chief Executive of Carers UK commented “family life is changing as a result of our ageing population and the fact people are living longer with disability and long term ill health.  That is true as I have seen in the case of my father who had Alzheimers and lived to be 90.

The brochure went on to highly how pressures and costs of caring can force families to give up work and end up in debt, poor health and isolation.  Well I can identify with that.

“Carers make a huge contribution to our society.  In return the Government is cutting support by £13 million.

I think the bedroom tax needs to be looked at very very carefully as there are some exceptional cases and people are being wrongly penalised.

Personal Independence Payment replaces Disability Living Allowance but these changes will result in almost 10,000 fewer carers being entitled to Carer’s Allowance.

All these changes put further financial pressures on families who are already struggling.

Care in the Home.

This was one thing that worked well for my father who had Alzheimers.   He had deteriorated to the point he could hardly walk and had to be taken out in a wheelchair.  I struggled to get sufficient help in place but managed.  Adults Social Services were good – the social workers were more helpful than those I have come across under the mental health.  So, he had an agency in the morning, day centre every day – Age Concern on Saturdays.  Sunday was spent with the family up to the point he could no longer walk.  After the Day Centre, Crossroads sat with him until the carer I employed turned up at 6pm and stayed throughout the night.  All this care worked extremely well and all I had to do was the paperwork which was easy and there was a firm to do the wages.     I employed more than 1 carer and was involved myself to the degree of nursing care.  Direct Payments is a very good thing in my opinion.  My father had a pension which paid for some of the care.   Of course the NHS care was again drugs – Seroquel and Rispiridal and many other drugs – they made my father unstable and he would lash out – a once placid man was unrecognisable because of the drugs.

Anyway you could get advice on benefits, funding, services, everything to do with caring.  I would certainly recommend this conference to anyone with an interest in caring.

I sat listening to the Rt Hon Norman Lamb but did not get a chance to speak myself during this part of the conference.  I ran out after Mr Lamb as I had brought my leaflets and Chy Sawel Brochures which  just about managed to give.   After that was a section regarding NHS care and social care with prominent speakers   There was the opportunity to speak and I stood up before everyone as the talk had been about carers not being included all too often.  I had plenty to say on this subject and did so.

The last section included a speech by David Behan CBE – Chief Executive CQC.  This is someone I really wanted to see and I managed this just before his speech.  I gave him my leaflet and brochure of Chy Sawel.  I told him about the shocking experiences I have encountered.  I then went on to say that the drugs were no good and that there should be holistic care as choice.  I pointed to Chy Sawel and said “this is the care needed for my daughter  .I mentioned my views on what is going on under certain hospitals.  He looked concerned however I want to see action rather than words.  I pointed to the book Nutrient Power  and the research of Dr Walsh and said that this was what I wanted for care for my daughter.

In all I thought I got the message across and ran out of my leaflets.

I wish to go again next year and hope to see vast changes based on some of the discussions.

Professor Sir Robin Murray    – Professor of Psychiatric Research at the Institute of Psychiatry.  Elected a Fellow of the Royal Society (FRS) in 2010.   One of the Commissioners

Professor Murray saw my daughter and promised in writing a drug free period of assessment.  He referred her to the National Psychosis Unit in Beckenham, Kent.  Within a week she was offered Clozapine twice and got very upset.  She had signed an advanced declaration.  I desperately contacted Professor Murray to beg him for help as a drug free period was promised.  I received a letter stating that he was no longer attached to the National Psychosis Unit.   I then started to write to him direct but he did not want to know.  Within no time the National Psychosis Unit caused psychosis by reducing the drugs too steeply and then a Section 2 was imposed and Olanzapine introduced.   Then my daughter was made to be so confused and disorientated she did not even know what drug had been given except it began with the letter ‘M’  – I later found out this is Metformine for Diabetes Type II.  She did not even know they gave her Clozapine but I found out an emergency doctor was called just before I arrived back to give her shopping she requested.  My daughter has suffered no end of pain at this prison camp where her face was covered in bruises and where they force drug patients and experiment to their hearts content on dangerous drugs:

http://www.nationalpsychosisunit.blogspot.co.uk/

I cannot believe what I am reading.    I am fed up with hearing about Stigma!   What is shameful is the abuse going on and I see no stigma –  I am proud of my daughter and ashamed of the treatment of patients in the UK.  Before being labelled and plied one drug after another Elizabeth was doing OK.  She could have made a recovery like someone else in my family who also was labelled and yet now is on top of the world without being on any drugs whatsoever.

“unless properly treated, these psychotic experienced may destroy your hopes and ambitions, make other people recoil from you, and ultimately cut your life short”

I straight could see that it was the anti-depressant Cipralix that was affecting my daughter but still had no idea how dangerous this drug is and the others prescribed.  It was only when I read books and researched the drugs that I could see what was to blame and this was nothing to do with any diagnosis.  I became sceptical when I saw so many diagnoses in the files.  It is harmful in itself to label someone without any scientific proof.  I know of people who manage to cope with their illness and no thanks to any of the shocking care on offer which is mainly drug pushing.

The report rightly says that they found a broken demoralised system that does not deliver the quality of treatment that is needed for people to recover.  This is clearly unacceptable in England in the 21st Century.  Yes! that is why we need alternative care centres such as Chy Sawel and proper assessments by Dr Walsh (Walsh Institute) as well as advice from Dr Ann Blake Tracy regarding how properly a reduction should be made of the drugs so that a patient can have holistic care and not huge quantities of harmful chemicals.

It is unbelievable that it is mentioned that medication is prioritised at the expense of psychological interventions and social rehabilitation –  “Furthermore, some wards are so anti-therapeutic that when people relapse and are in need of a period of care and respite, they are unwilling to be admitted voluntarily; so compulsion rates rise.”  This is laughable.  My daughter was willing to remain at the Nat Psychosis Unit voluntarily but I was looking to have her home as I was so horrified at what I saw.  Talk about anti-therapeutic – the grounds are beautiful and facilities good but the grounds are deserted and the facilities are not being used at the Nat Psychosis Unit.  I brought a swimming costume for Elizabeth – so this paragraph is not true at all and when I complained no-one could have cared less.

The Commission is right about wards being frightening but the Nat Psychosis Unit was the most frightening experience of all for my daughter and it was heartbreaking to receive call after call from her whilst I was at work in a distressed state.

“People with Psychosis rarely have the chance to choose their psychiatrist and families are not treated as partners in care but have to battle for basic services.   Yes – I would agree about not being treated as partners in care as I was excluded and banned and treated like a criminal.  As regards choosing their psychiatrist –  this can only benefit someone who has some capacity as I have seen capacity can be easily manipulated and besides, what choice is there!  There may be one or two good psychiatrists but most of them are just wanting to dish out the drugs.

I have heard it mentioned about the shortening of life between 15-20 years and this is mentioned in the Commission Report – “their physical health suffers and their life is shortened by 15 – 20 years”.  I have listened also to a speech by the Dean of the Institute of Psychiatry blaming smoking.  Sure smoking is something that mental  health patients are drawn to because of the boredom of being on an acute ward where there is nothing much to do especially at weekends.  However I pointed out to the Dean of the Institute of Psychiatry it is not the smoking that shortens life but the drugs themselves and this is where steps should be taken to reduce slowly and gradually the drugs, looking at therapeutic care and nutrition and ensuring that correct nutrition is given as many people under the mental health could have underlying health problems and this is why I am paying to have a proper assessment done by Dr Walsh in the hope that the correct care can be given.

It is stated that “the Commission heard from many people who had been  helped to recover and go on to live happy and productive lives after one or more psychotic episode.  Well I know of people who have done this and are now drug free and that makes me wonder if the correct diagnosis is being given as no proper assessments are made in the first place to see if there is food intolerance -drugs should not be given before it is determined which bio type of depression as the drugs could make that person worse and this is what has happened in the case of my daughter.  It is no wonder she is chronic treatment resistant.

There are too many studies without proper action taking place in my opinion and instead of all these reports these experts should come and meet some of the patients and carers and look at the research of Dr Walsh and care in Tornio Finland where they include families by way of Open Dialogue.

The report estimates the cost of schizophrenia and psychosis to society at nearly £12 billion in England alone.  Well I am not surprised when they keep some in hospital for 2 years and there is no proper care in the community as that person is on a lot of drugs sometimes and cannot manage in the community and social services do not give the correct level of support.  That person goes downhill because they are not eating properly, they have no visitors so they become isolated in the community and are begging to come back to hospital and that is very sad.   On admission to hospital drugs are quite often increased and this is the care on offer.  The report goes on to talk about saving money by turning users of services into contributors to the economy.  Well I happen to know many of these ex patients and they have a lot of offer.  If they were on less drugs then they could do more and most want to help others.  This is where they should be included as peer support/advocates.  Many are highly intelligent but what can they do if they are suffering from ill effects from long term drug use thanks prescribed drugs for their so called diagnosis.  The drugs make someone tired and unable to do very much at all.  The drugs can cause confusion and that person would need help getting to and from appointments – once again this help is not being given in the community and so many go downhill as a result.

Professor Murray states a change of attitude in each Trust from community nurse to Chief Executive is needed.  Well, my daughter was left with no hope and even less when Professor Murray promised a drug free period that was not given and then did not intervene.

He does not mention anything about the shocking Community Treatment Orders only about effective drugs and range of evidence-based psychological treatments.

I do agree that too much is spent on secure care £1.2 billion or 19% of the mental health budget – with many people staying too long in expensive units.

I also agree that families who are carers save the public purse £1.24 billion per year but are not receiving support and are not treated as partners.

“service users and family m embers dare not speak about the condition.  87% of service users report experiences of stigma and discrimination”  –  well I am only too  happy to talk about the abuse going on to some of these vulnerable people who are NOT of risk to the public and are treated appallingly.

There is much that I disagree with about the report

Hearing Voices can come about through severe trauma but to make a diagnosis such as Schizophrenia may be inaccurate.  This is why proper assessments should be made in the first place before even given the drugs as these highly dangerous drugs are played down to the patient and after 14 none have worked.  None have erased painful memories, none that made Elizabeth well – in fact she has suffered so end of pain by the drugs themselves.  She has suffered serious side effects such as Akathisia and many severe symptoms but none of the professionals did anything about this.  She suffered panic attacks and anxiety like never before, she suffered dizziness and palpitations whilst on Clozapine.

At the Carers UK conference the professionals were saying there should be recognition of the carer and more communication instead of exclusion.

There are many things I could have added to this report and contested.   Before making such a report consultation should be made with the carers and the patients and groups of former patients.  A look at the high success rate in Tornio Finland where I would like to take my daughter for her care should be made by these experts.

Also listed under the Commissioners is someone from Rethink –  Paul Jenkins – how can Rethink be independent when they have psychiatrists on their Board and they failed to turn up at a crucial appointment when  my daughter was in hospital at the Bethlem.

Professor Taylor was someone I wrote to about the shocking treatment of my daughter and I was horrified to see the research going on documented in the wonderful blog on the National Psychosis Unit.  To think all this research is going on under their own hospital and yet they propose changes – well I am one who wants to see such change but the report does not even go so far to mention the changes I want to see in everything from proper assessments resulting in a diagnosis to abolishment of CTOs and humane care and Open Dialogue Approach together with former patient involvement as peer support and to stop using patients as human guinea Pigs as at the Bethlem and promoting Clozapine when many patients are stating how terrible they have felt on this drug.  This is what the Commission need to listen to and that is WHAT THE PATIENTS ARE SAYING AND HOW THIS DRUG IS AFFECTING THEM.

These words were said by my daughter and these words are quite haunting given an article recently in the Daily Mail about a woman who tried to help her father as she felt a care home was not looking after him.  This resulted in the Court of Protection stepping in and taking control in the most damaging way in complete and utter secrecy.  It is amazing such incidents can happen in a so called democratic country.  This has been front page news and quite rightly so but how many more cases – could that be me next!  It is all wrong that cases such as these should be held in complete secrecy without fair trial and the same applies to mental health Tribunals.

In my case, I have listened to my daughter who has been terribly distressed at times and I have tried to get the team to listen.  I did not have a blog like this to begin with but when one incident after another occurred, I became more outspoken.  It is most upsetting to see someone go downhill for a start and be pushed drug after drug to the tune of around 14 different drugs to someone so very young and each drug has had devastating effects and caused much suffering to my daughter.  I have listened to this, seen the terrible side effects and confronted the professionals both in the healthcare and social services – this has not gone down well at all.

I wonder who advised her to visit the GP in the first place who prescribed the drug Cipralix which had a devastating effect on Elizabeth.  I had no idea how dangerous these drugs were and no knowledge of what they could do to someone.  I did see devastating results of a drug given to my younger daughter as a child was put on Rispiridal and diagnosed with a very serious condition.  She was only on 1mg and ballooned in weight which led to further bullying – however it is thanks to the private school I paid for and not to any drug treatment that my daughter got better and has excelled in her life.  Even on 1mg she suffered terrible withdrawal which the team called a relapse and her anxiety increased.  So the drugs made her worse, not better and I have the files for this – because she was a child when put on these drugs which I profusely complained about and backed her I was not portrayed in a good light in the medical files by the team.  I am pleased to say that my younger daughter is on top of the world –  the diagnosis was obviously wrong.  This is worrying as I have come across patients who have been given serious diagnoses that once off the drugs have recovered and living a normal life but have suffered terrible physical health problems – what is if the diagnosis is wrong like in the case of my younger daughter where is the proof?

My view is strongly that drugs are not the answer and that is where I am at odds with the professionals who think this is the answer but it is easy for them to dish out the drugs – they do not see how someone suffers – only the carer or close family sees this.  There is usually an underlying reason for a mental breakdown – trauma is one of the reasons and then there could be underlying health problems to which drugs can exacerbate matters. I would like to see change in the UK in the form of a proper assessment and stricter regulations in terms of just giving out dangerous drugs that you cannot come off easily and are led to believe that  you have to take forever for the rest of your life – this is very untrue however there is no help by professionals for someone to safely reduce of the drugs or good facilities to go into and I am critical of this as the instructions on the drugs leaflets clearly say if you experience any one of the serious side effects from the drugs you should immediately refer this to your clinician.  Well, when you do refer this a patient gets ignored all too often and the answer is to increase the drug or try out another on a “trial and error basis”.  In America there are centres like Alternative to Meds in Arizona, Earth House, Cooper RIIs – where is there such a centre in the UK – the answer is nowhere and this is where the Government need to step in and give help and support to those organisations who wish to provide holistic care and proper assessments with the minimal of drugs as it is the drugs themselves that cause the psychosis as detailed by Professor Healy, Dr Ann Blake Tracy, Dr Candace Pert, Dr Walsh – there are many others who I will also wish to feature on this site.

As regards the Powers of the Team/Social Services:  I have spoken in previous blogs about the powers of the psychiatrist who can manipulate an organisation like Rethink who are linked to the Bethlem Hospital. I was so stunned by this when I investigated and looked to see who was on their Board.

At Cambian there was equal control if not more until a new psychiatrist was appointed.  A psychiatrist should liaise with the family on treatment and not try and influence the patient if they do not like you.  The whole team can be influenced by the psychiatrist so I have seen on more than one occasion.

The next Tribunal is one that I as nearest relative can bring about to contest  the Section 3 in this case after the disastrous Hospital Meeting that did not go ahead.

My object against the Section 3 is very justifiable.  My daughtery was put on this “prison sentence ” by the Maudsley National Psychosis Unit Research Hospital who withdrew my daughter’s drug Seroquel in such a way that this would cause psychosis in anyone.  I sought advice from Dr Ann Blake Tracy and I provided this advice on a cd to the team which was ignored.  Dr Ann Blake Tracy told me that the team of professionals will have known that this would cause adverse behaviour and in any case what actually  happened leading to this section was not that bad and anyone would have reacted this way if trapped in that place.  My daughter wanted to go out in the fresh air and who on earth could blame her. 2 members of staff approached her and tried to prevent this crowding her which is very threatening and I believe she just pushed them out of the way and that was it.  They had taken her off 150mg of Seroquel and mixed it with Olanzapine and are every way at fault so why should my daughter be punished because of their actions.  She was stabilised on the Olanzapine so why produce the drug Clozapine – the last resort drug and then mix it with Metformine for Diabetes Type 2.  I have seen this reason and have documented this.  I got to find about the drugs out when I suggested going running with Elizabeth  What can you do in 1 hr!  I was told that staff could not accompany us because of health and safety reasons and this was when I was told not to go running  behind any bushes as staff needed to supervise at all times –  It was like being treated like a child however a very nice nurse accompanied us and despite the health & safety warnings came out and joined in – not all the staff were bad at this dreadful place that had deserted but beautiful grounds.  This was when I got to find out she was on Clozapine as she could barely walk and I had to hold her hand to almost prop her up and then when I went out to buy some things she wanted I found out that an emergency doctor had been called as she was experiencing heart difficulties – not one member of the team got in touch to say this to me – this was kept quiet.  This leads me to believe that if anything more serious had happened this would have been covered up as well.  It is best to be open and honest in my opinion and to communicate correctly.

Anyway, I have a right to be upset and to voice my opinion about the care as I am not the only one being affected and on behalf of everyone I  believe that changes need to be made to a system that is inhumane.

It is only since a new psychiatrist commenced at Cambian that I have been happy.  This extremely good doctor bothered to ring me back – he may not agree with my views but at least – he has bothered to communicate and even though he is pro the drugs it means so much to me that someone has even bothered unlike the majority.  It would be nice if such doctors from Cambian went along to the next Chy Sawel conference to listen to what Dr Walsh has to say.

It is not just the healthcare that is wrong and harmful to patients, not all of who have been abused by someone in their family but also social services and how they react towards you.

The care at Enfield did not work because the drugs were not right for my daughter – I will soon find out through Dr Walsh which bio type of depression she has.  The local hospital was keen to dismiss my daughter and throw her back time and time again into the community where she was in a scheme designed for people who could look after themselves to a degree and staffed supposedly 24 hrs.  This hospital should only be used short term and not for patients returning time and time again however the EMU group are extremely good and are making much needed improvements and the most important is peer support.   As regards the scheme in the community, unfortunately such a scheme is not right for someone so very vulnerable who has been in hospital for about 2 years prior.  She went missing from this scheme and police were involved.  She was moved up a floor nearer to staff however that was not enough in my opinion.  I was having to do washing, cleaning etc as she was living badly and not responding to the team in the end however she did respond to another resident which is why I think the peer support was necessary.    I was desperate my vulnerable daughter did not go to the hospital for activities or even a drop in centre that was largely unsupervised so many things had happened.  I felt that peer support of the right kind should have been provided by way of direct payments but she was never one to ask and did not understand what direct payments were about in front of Enfield Mental Health Users Group who I took her along to as I felt this was lacking in her care.  I was going to advertise and pay for what I thought was missing ie., correct peer support.  She could not attend meetings and get to and from places on time, the drugs prevented her from doing this – she would forget time or day because of the drugs.  The drugs took away everything from my daughter – they took away her love of running, leaving her with not even the ability to do every day chores unlike before.  She became tired and lethargic and got to the stage where she h ad lost all hope and could not care less any more.   She was not eating well and living off junk food – the condition of the fridge contents etc was bad.  She once had a job, was once studying, once learning to drive – she took part in a charity run –  all this has gone thanks to the drugs.  At first Elizabeth wanted a job – when I could see nothing was being done I tried to help as all I have done is listen.  I  arranged college at the rehab ward as I noticed Elizabeth was artistic and made a beautiful flower arrangement.  Before going in to the class she suffered from panic attacks however you should have seen how happy she looked when she came out of there however not enough encouragement was given with the written work which could have led to a qualification.  I was extremely upset and so was her tutor about this.

I cannot believe that the Bethlem treated my daughter in such a shocking way and then the transfer at such short notice without even leaving the opportunity to say goodbye to a private hospital miles away from home.  She has been there for some time now and I know is not happy on the section and neither am I.   Once again I am speaking up as the Nearest Relative for my daughter’s wishes to be implemented.

I know that a section can be renewed over and over again for up to 9 years and I also know that my daughter is of no risk to the public but the argument is that she is a risk to herself.  This is not true either –  however she would need more one to one support but surely this can be provided when I have seen an agency who provide live in care in your own home.

I like Wales very much – I see it as  being more friendly and more peaceful than London however in I have heard about a new law that is pro holistic care and this is the best thing for Elizabeth.  Less of the drugs and more holistic care as the drugs will cause long term health problems and shorten  her life.  All I want is the correct care in place and this is why I  have turned to Dr Walsh of the Walsh Institute.  Dr Walsh has evidence based research and I am impressed with his book Nutrient Power.  Unfortunately, Cambian returned it whereas I wanted them to keep this book as I specially bought another copy.  Perhaps I should present this to Mr Jeremy Hunt himself along with the book of Dr Ann Blake Tracy and the book by Professor Healy.  Mr Hunt can then do something about this unsatisfactory situation.

Anyway the assessment is being carried out via the Bio Lab in London right now – should be getting results soon and then Dr Walsh can suggest a proper nutritional plan and how things should be done bearing in m ind my daughter’s long term health.  The Tribunal date I am still waiting to hear about.

I had written two emails to advise the social services about the wonderful care I  had found that could allow Elizabeth to live in her own home and that there would be the chance of getting a home there rather than in London for her.   I would be willing to have her home but realise this is not a long term solution and this area is not the best environment because she needs peace and quiet.  Most of all she needs to be independent but this will take time because of past failures in the care and the level of drugs she is on which have been extremely damaging and simply have not worked.  It is crucial that Elizabeth has the right friends and I believe she can be integrated into society whereas locally it was viewed that she would be better off with her own kind.  I disagree with this entirely.  My dream would be to have my daughter at least working in a small capacity but not enough support was given locally to get to and from an interview, to build up confidence.  My dream would also be to have Chy Sawel and other similar places set up especially if Dr Walsh specifies that my daughter has a condition where the drugs are in fact making her worse.  It would be a waste of public money to continue with the supply and pushing of such drugs in the

Anyway I was not happy with social services as no one had got to me regarding my emails where I had detailed this care on offer and am fully knowledgeable at how much was being spent on the scheme which unfortunately did not work out and this would go a long way and would work out cheaper than the hospital.  The hospital are trying to help my daughter do the basics of things like washing etc  however all this could be wasted if the care in the community is not right.  This is my greatest concern.  The care in the community need not be expensive –  if say she was to stay in the area where she is then direct payments could provide the peer support needed and this was hugely lacking.   I tried to provide such support myself and would be willing to contribute.  Such support in terms of say a nursing student or psychology student in the early stages of their studies would be wonderful and beneficial.  There needs to be young people involved and even former patients providing they are getting on with their lives in a decent manner.    Anyway eventually I tracked them down to their offices as whenever I phoned I was told everyone was in meetings and here I was in person.   Two members of the social services team saw me – her social worker who I had never met before and her superior who I had met on occasions before.    I spoke of my concerns about the way I have been excluded and pointed to the fact they no doubt they were aware of this.  This was denied and I then pointed out the fact they had tried to replace me more than once as the Nearest Relative.  I did not get an apology for this and no respopnse at all.  I pointed to the fact that it was wrong my daughter was on a section and tried to explain why I was so upset about it all.  I referred to the fact that the scheme did not work and that my daughter’s possessions were all stolen – KEYBOARD, PLAYSTATION 3, GUITARS, JEWELLERY – very sad that this happened – have heard nothing as to  whether a police investigation had even taken place.  I told them that I would like to see my daughter in her own home and with such agency living in and supported student/type staff of around her own age to take her out and help regain confidence.   It is no good me as a mother doing all of this for my daughter – how is this going to help her long term, however, I do want to know that she is in the right company and not to be excluded like I have been. This is my criticism – when such people ignore phone calls and emails this is not a good sign – I referred to the article in the Daily Mail about imprisonment and I can identify to that and see such a thing as a threat to me because I have been outspoken but all I want as a mother is to know that my daughter is now getting on with her life.  My life has already been deeply affected in the most unpleasant way.  I have told social services that it is extremely damaging to someone like my daughter to have things said about me behind my back that are not nice and to turn her against me or even to sever ties altogether which they would have the powers to do.  “you are still my Mum, I will call the police on them and have them arrested”   – my daughter’s comments to me not that long ago and what she would like is to go to Finland where she spent several happy months.   I have never been to Finland but am very impressed by the care on offer in Tornio where there is huge success rates and would like to see this for myself – this is inclusion of the family and I have seen a dvd on Open Dialogue which is needed in the UK.

I have already lost my daughter the minute she got put on the drugs that altered her beyond recognition. However I never lose hope as with  my father the most upsetting and stressful thing is dealing with teams also I have to say that my father’s social workers were very good for the most part.  The family has been further ripped apart, the rest of the family favoured because the team have not been challenged by them.  I have been the one fighting for decent care and fairness but you should not have to fight.  I am only stating what I hear from my daughter who does not have the strength like I do to speak up for her rights and is too afraid to do that.  If there was such a thing as open dialogue like in Finland then there would be no such problems and at the centre of all this mess is a vulnerable person who can easily be mixed up/influenced and has felt threatened by a team who are desperate I do not see any more of the files.   I can imagine how I have been described anyway but I do not care about this – I care about getting the right care in place and that is holistic care and it is my daughter’s right to have such care especially since she signed an Advanced Statement which was ignored by the Maudsley stating no further experimentation She was forced to go along with what they demanded “it is very strict in here Mum ”  “I am forced to take the drugs” this was done at the Bethlem in such a way she did not know what the name of the drugs were and when I demanded my daughter be told I got wrongly accused of being aggressive and banned – I may have been upset but I was not aggressive and when I requested to see evidence of my so called aggressive behaviour I did not get given the correct parts of the file relating to several letters which had long lists of names of professionals on.  It was even documented that I was standing up at the door threatening staff when I was sitting patiently on the floor waiting for my books to be given back – I was then threatened to be arrested once again.      How is it a good thing to force someone to take drugs – they clearly do not work as Elizabeth still remembers things  that could have better been dealt with by counselling rather than drugs and the result is a diagnosis – a new one which is probably featured in DSM 5 and that is called Chronic Treatment Resistant.  I believe my daughter can get better and live as near normal life as possible and I believe the answer is not to keep her and others locked away in hospital for years on end and that is where Chy Sawel, Soteria and Root and Branch Projects should be incorporated.

All I would like is to see patients have a fair choice and there is none at present in the UK.  If some get on with the drugs then that is good however if someone has adverse reactions then I believe that the correct facilities should be provided like the abovementioned   – I believe that Dr Walsh and Dr Ann Blake Tracy together with Professor Healy should be involved and others as well who are speaking honestly about the drugs.  A new kind of care is needed that is humane and gives choice to the patient.  Former patients could play a significant role in helping others even more so that the professionals as they have experienced what that person is going through.  A therapeutic community is needed like Root and Branch in a rural setting and peaceful location and Chy Sawel do conferences to educate the professionals based on the research of Dr Walsh.  All these schemes should be given Government support and could be the answer to future care for those who are labelled beyond help which I do not believe for one minute.   These schemes should be allowed to be set up without further delay.

Today I met up with some of the my school friends which was very nice.  We all went out for the day to Freeport Designer Village.  Elizabeth is always on my mind and my thoughts turned to when we visited a wonderful designer village in Wales not long ago.  The new psychiatrist had allowed her to come home for the first time and even though it was just for one night it was better than nothing.  He had also increased the time allowed to be spent with my daughter to four hours a day.  She had a very nice time but I am worried that all this will change when the previous psychiatrist returns to her post.  This doctor did not like me and was saying things behind my back to my daughter, all of which got back to me and I knew that this person was behind it because of the way that she had responded to me prior to this.  She had gone on leave not giving an answer as to whether I could see my daughter leaving it to the management.  It could be that the whole management do not like.  Just look how they have ganged up previously and refused the files to my solicitors dragging out the legal process. This is all a waste of public money and should be looked into especially as they claim to be Best Care Provider 2012.  Of course Enfield Mental Health might have played a part in this because behind my back they were all trying to once again for the 2nd time replace me as the nearest relative.  Fortunately this time I was prepared.  I did not h ave to go through the day of bullying by their legal teams.  I would have been arrested if I had used this approach to deal with someone so why should such legal teams be allowed to get away with this kind of harrassment.   I have decided to go to the Carers UK Conference and have every intention of trying to speak and putting across the views of many parents who have young adults stuck in the most cruel and abusive system ever.  Locked away from the public eye with the press not caring to publish the truth or being allowed to in terms of legal action I am informing the public that there are many people locked away unfairly in the system costing an absolute fortune and who are of no risk to the public however the professionals could say they are a risk to themselves.   Why on earth is there not a fairer system where these people can get proper help.  When my father  had Alzhiemers I had heard of a good idea for a scheme –  like a small community with a doctor on site, shops for basic things.  Perhaps this should be thought of with appropriate security and peer support involving other former patients who have pulled through their ordeals who can possibly get through to some of the more vulnerable people.  What is there to loose.  I have seen an agency providing 24 hr care in the home and if there was one to one peer support with individual living accommodation, a nutritionist, doctor, counsellor, activites both evening and during the day, like a community – just like Root and Branch Project want to provide and open dialogue and then Chy Sawel want to provide proper assessments and humane care which is what is lacking today.  There is none of that.  I have written to Enfield Social Services who have not replied to my email.  I shall therefore write again.  I have seen suitable properties where Elizabeth is now and the area is peaceful and the right environment to get well.  Dr Walsh is coming in June and hopefully the proper assessment will be carried out soon.  I am waiting for the test results to come back from the Bio Lab and then I will send them to Dr Walsh.  I will then get to hear the correct results of tests and a proper diagnoses as to which Bio type of depression my daughter has.  I cannot accept Chronic Treatment Resistant.  This is ridiculous. Now I wish to see all the proof as there are several different diagnoses and I am not happy about the chemicals my daughter is being given when they could well be making her worse and will certainly cause long term health problems.

In the meantime, I have booked myself on the Carers UK Conference.  Mr Hunt was supposed to be speaking there but cannot attend.  However there are plenty of other professionals I wish to speak to and I hope I get the chance to speak in front of everyone at this conference.

I’m at home with my Mum for the first time in ages.  It’s good to be home.

My mum has shown me the website and I am so happy that so many people have written to offer support via Twitter.

I am being collected by the team today to be brought back to hospital.  I have had a nice weekend.

Yesterday we went to see some of the sights of Wales.

A typical week is:

Get up at 8.00 am.  Breakfast served early.  Medication follows.  There is a morning meeting with about 10 other patients.  I find the meetings OK.  We have to discuss what we are going to do during the day.  The meetings do not last long and then we have to get on with tasks and other groups.  The hospital is much nicer than the last hospital.  It is a private hospital and smart inside.  The food is better than any other hospitals I have been in .

It is not noisy like the other wards and I find this is good as the previous wards were very disruptive and that made me feel more ill.

AT the previous hospital locally there was less support and and more attention is given although I would like there to be more outings as most of my time is spend on the ward.  There is a garden at the back but the weather is not good right now.  I am allowed out to local shops escorted only.  I am taken out twice a week to a local park and shopping.  There is a small gym in Cambian and this has a few pieces of equipment but there is no personal trainer.  The hospital is very strict in discipline and this is the first time I am allowed home in a long time.

It is a shame but our house has been burgled on this occasion and I do wish that my visit home has been longer as it is a long journey to get home from where I am.

Sometimes I get bored at the hospital but I have made friends there.

I do not like taking the mediction and would prefer other forms of treatment or therapy.  I would like to see more trips around the area and feel this would be helpful to me.

The group I go to at the hospital – one of them is psychology and this is good.  I found it very good when my Mum booked me hynotherapy – I really liked that.

At my previous scheme in the community I felt I lost it –  I was not happy there at all.

The last Hospital (Bethlem) was very strict and like prison.  I hated it there and I was glad to get out.
I do not want to be in hospital much longer and would like to be out.   I would like to get on with my life.

I want to thank everyone for their support – the group my Mum sees Speak Out Against Psychiatry and people who have sent messages of support too many to mention but thank you all.

I have been in Wales collecting Elizabeth as for the first time ever she is allowed to come home and stay with me but this has only been a short time.

This morning I got a phone call from a friend to say my house has been broken into.  Luckily this good friend of mine helped no end and contacted the Police, stayed until the house was boarded up.  Once again burglars got in through the back and have damaged windows and French doors.  I have had the Wii Games stolen, laptops and other things but it could have been worse.  There were looking for phones and have ransacked my younger daughter’s room and there was glass everywhere.  My first thought was for my pet cat who must have been terrified.  I was relieved that the cat was still there as this would have caused tremendous upset not only to Elizabeth but myself as we have grown so attached to him.  I have not long been in but I have swept up all the glass at the back as I was afraid the neighbours cats could get glass injuries.  It is upsetting to know someone has been in your home and thank goodness the home is always occupied but it would have to be this weekend when Elizabeth is staying as I wanted this to be a very special weekend.

As promised I took Elizabeth on Brecon Mountain Railway and we saw the beautiful scenery of Wales and also visited a distillery to buy gifts for the family before heading home.  The house was not in too bad a state when I got home and despite all this upset, Elizabeth has been calm.  The hospital were worried that she could react – I do not think Elizabeth gets out that much and has lost a lot of confidence.  I see the hospital are giving her some supplements but I wish it was the prescription of the private orthomolecular psychiatrist that I appointed.

The Clozapine does not work because Elizabeth can remember way back everything that has happened and this drug has done nothing for my daughter.  What is the point of trying to block someone’s mind – this is an easy alternative for staff so that a patient is fit for nothing half the time.  This is not care at all –  these drugs must be costing the taxpayer a fortune and I have tried but cannot find one single place for my daughter to go in to be reduced properly just like Dr Ann Blake Tracy has instructed.   Noone seems to know how to reduce someone off these drugs and the public are misinformed greatly.  These drugs – anti-depressants or anti-psychotics are extremely harmful and you cannot just come straight off them.  I would not recommend anyone takes themselves off without the help of a professional doctor but what doctors in the UK are willing to give this humane choice of care.  If only I could find one.

The only place there seems to be brilliant care and choice is Finland in a place called Tornio and I have looked further afield as alternative care centres in the States and there are several – why is there not one single place in the UK.

I do like Wales as it is peaceful and quiet and after what has happened to my home I am not happy in this area at all.  Elizabeth is in a better place where there is quality of life unlike here where I live.  The trouble is there is lack of care in the community and these schemes where quite a few mentally ill people are put together in their own flats do not suit everyone especially someone who is extremely vulnerable like my daughter.  I am keen not to see a repeat of any of the horrific things that have occurred in the passed but it is hard to trust anyone every again.   The team have not trusted me up until now and maybe they have been warned by senior management to change their tactics otherwise any publicity would be detrimental to their image and reputation.  I have no idea why they have stopped treating me like a criminal and have suddenly backed down on their sanctions but there is a new doctor – maybe this is the reason.  It seems to depend on what doctor you have and whether or not they dislike you and some react in a personal way such as the Maudsley where I was given just 1 hour escorted supervised visits and Elizabeth was kept like a prisoner.

So Elizabeth right now is visiting her grandparents and I have allowed this despite the fact the rest of the family have not been communicating with me and have tried to keep Elizabeth visits a secret from me.  I am disappointed that Elizabeth is only allowed to spend just 1 night with me and tomorrow morning is having to go back and staff are picking her up from my house to bring her back.    Still, it is better than nothing I suppose but I would have liked to have done a dinner as we missed out on Xmas dinner and I did not see my daughter over Xmas apart from a flying visit just before Xmas.

If there are bad things written about you in the files that are inaccurate from a previous hospital, this hospital have perhaps gone by these kind of remarks that I have seen in the files I have in my possession.

Elizabeth was in quite a disturbed state when she was first transferred to this hospital from the last however ANYONE would have been in a state if they had come from this prison camp to anywhere else – this is not a bit surprising and I especially got to witness shocking things.  I wish they had called the police –  I wish they had me escorted like they threatened – I sat and waited patiently for this witnessed by a close friend who was shocked and disgusted.

Anyway Elizabeth at long last can see  her pet cat and this has gone with her to the Grandparents.  I thank God that these burglars did not harm the most precious thing I have.  Never mind about the computers – the cat could have got out of the window it does not bear thinking about.

Obviously I am upset about the burglarly but what can you do.  It could have been worse and I would have been awoken by any noise and would have investigated myself had I been at home.

I am now having to stay in and wait for the police to ring.  The whole thing is just a nuisance to me and I am not the only one down this road who has been affected by this apparently and it is supposed to be a nice area where I live as well.

Last of all Elizabeth knows I have this website and I will give her the opportunity to write something herself that is if she feels up to it tomorrow.